CHAPTER V: SIXTH MOTIF BY VERÔME

   Opulent and surprising, Cape Town attracts tourists even today despite the Apartheid that continues covering of shame the southernmost country in Africa. With its exotic Table Mountain, making depression towards the basin of the city, prosperous and beautiful as all that press is sometimes. And there was born a man smart and tender, with marked feelings of kindness and loyalty, intelligent and generous, not always understood by his parents.



 

─And he was unfortunately not respected by some other moron, as one such Nicholas Martin Siddeley. And here I must stop to make another pause, Protch, as you also know him.

─Surely I must, Nike. But in this case I don't even know the family name.

─ Does surname Richmonds say something to you?

─ Do you mean your habitual guest John Richmonds, your coworker?

─I mean it, Protch. I brought him here many times when you were still my servants. He worked with me in the Thuban Star. And unfortunately, I was not always sympathetic with him. But I told you that you knew half of us. I have spoken with Mistress Oakes, and indeed it was her that told you that phrase. She remembers you, Protch, like you to her. And you also know Bruce, John and me. Half of us.

─I can’t imagine your old guest John Richmonds in the street. Of course I think the same thing about you, and if you are already the Nike enigma, now I also have the Richmonds enigma.

─He never was as rich as me who also had the Siddeley industry, but he had a fortune. And I now finally come to tell you the sixth story.


 

   The Richmonds family lived comfortably in Cape Town and they owned farms on the outskirts of Durban, but Lawrence and Joyce, the patriarchs, cared for them with dedication despite the dangers because they bred impalas, lions and especially snakes, including the black mamba or the boomslang. They had a lot of black servers, who could not be called slaves, but they earned little and lived in extreme conditions, hosted on the farm of the Richmonds, and they couldn’t walk or dwell in the place they wanted of the city, as there were areas restricted to blacks.

   They had a son named Arthur, who had been raised between Cape Town and Durban, on the farm of his parents, and for being used to studying the venom of snakes, wanted to specialize one day in toxicology. And so he came to the Capital of our country, to the University. Arthur Richmonds was a man of an affable character and soon met there a serene woman, but with clear boundaries between what is right and what is not, called Nora Blessing, who was studying rheumatology. She madly fell in love with him and Arthur Richmonds came many times to Hazington, from where she was, and he also met her brother Harold Blessing, who then worked at the Thuban Star. My boss when I started working here, Protch, you also know him, a man with a conservative mindset who, however, made a good impression to Arthur, who, despite everything, never questioned certain things, such as the equality of all human beings, regardless of color.

   They decided to get married and moved to Cape Town, with frequent visits to the farm of Durban, and doctor Richmonds and his wife, Dr. Nora Richmonds, had a son. Thus came to the world John, born in Cape Town, but who often spent weeks in Durban, where at the end his parents moved, busy with the snakes and their many slaves, servants I mean.

   But John grew up questioning these circumstances, believing firmly that all human beings were equal, though not all have been born under the same conditions. He wasn't sure what he wanted to become, but he couldn’t imagine himself in the future in the farm of Durban and less could he imagine having black human beings to his service. If ever he happened to raise these questions to his parents, they reminded him that that’s how life was, that not everybody is born to do the same. And he often amused in reading, the best reader of the eight, and one day a friend lent him a book about the stars, and he was delighted to learn them and recognizing them when he saw them every night. He knew that there, in the southern hemisphere, there was not a star that indicated the south, that one should be guided by the constellation of Crux, the cross, and to find the place where south was you had to lengthen the long neck of this cross about four or five times to get to an imaginary point that would tell us the south. He recognized constellations such as Phoenix or Carina or stars such as Alpha Centauri, Canopus and Achernar. And one day he was 13, that critical age in which the sexual condition is usually discovered, and acknowledged he liked men and soon he was fascinated by one of his black servants, one Zulu called Mthandeni.

   Mthandeni did not deal with the impalas or the few lions. He was hired to take care of the snakes and the numerous reptiles, but he was an enigma for almost everyone. He was of the same age as John, but he didn't have a family, except some cousin in Maseru, today the capital of the Kingdom of Lesotho, but it was then the protectorate of Basutoland, an island surrounded on all sides by the racist South Africa. One day John went to greet him, as he did to all his servants, and he heard him.

─ "Hello, master Richmonds."

─ "Only John, please. You and I are equal. The color of the skin does not make us different."

─ "But I work for you."

─ "You work for my parents. I neither have servants nor want them. I would prefer to be a friend of yours, Mthandeni – and he saw without fear that he was in love with him - and talk about anything and be friends."

─ "John..."-he started to tell. Also love had reached him. But then one of his employees cried out loud. An ugly boomslang had bitten him with ferocity in one arm, probably female, for its brown color. Mthandeni then left him and ran to where the wounded man was. John saw him remove its venom and save the life of the man, and he was learning from what he observed, to heal a wounded man, if he needed it one day.

   Mthandeni and he spoke every day, and John taught him his stellar knowledge. But one day already Mthandeni told him seriously.

─ "John, it would be better to stop seeing each other. You would not consider right what I'm going to say. You can tell your parents and then they can fire me."

─ "What will you say, my friend? I don't think that there is a reason to fire you."

─ "Maybe you don't find a real reason and my heart tells me that perhaps you might even understand me. But your parents are not going to understand."

   He could not lose him. He was willing to listen to him as usual with serenity. Mthandeni was already a part of his life. But he was very far from knowing what he was going to say.

─ "I’m sorry, John but I love you."

   While happiness was spreading through all his being, he was flabbergasted and frozen. He never expected to be loved by the one he loved.

─ "I also love you, Mthandeni; the question is what we are going to do now."

   They kissed and hugged each other. They could not do more for the first night. And they got used to meeting late in secret. One bright starry evening John said.

─ "You are like Canopus and I am like the southern sky. This hemisphere would not be understood without its shine."


 

   Canopus, Alpha carinae, in the constellation of the Keel, the second brightest star in the night sky, only surpassed by Sirius, in the northern hemisphere. Agastya in Hindu astrology it does not seem to end its days as a supernova and would end its time as a white dwarf star. It was just a comparison, not a gift, but it was the first time that he would do such a thing. Canopus for Mthandeni, his first love, living still in the southern hemisphere.


 

    They were three years meeting in hiding, finding some safe places to love each other. But they were poor parks where they could only kiss, as Mthandeni wasn't allowed to move freely around the city. They looked for a bridge under which they could love thoroughly.

─ "Starlight is reflected in your beautiful blue eyes and with its shine your pupils become more tender." - said John delicately, and Mthandeni appreciated it.

─ "We must be very careful, John – he often said-. We are two men and I am black, remember."

─ "You know that that does not matter to me, sweetheart."

─ "Yes, John, but I have had to be born here, in this racist country. And fortunately, if not, I would have never known you. And during the day, while I’m working for your parents, do not come too close to me, my life. We have the night for love."

   So they were several years. John’s parents did not know anything, and he confused them saying he had a girlfriend and that he saw her every evening, from 7 to 9. He never told the truth to his parents. And it is not known what they thought or imagined. But this situation was unsustainable. And three years later, Mthandeni said.

─ "If it weren’t because I love you, John... You know that in Maseru, in Basutoland, I have several cousins, and that blacks live in other conditions. And we don't have to hide. My cousin Mthunzi knows the truth of my love for you, and might even find me a job."

─ "Maseru, and why not, Mthandeni? Talk to your cousin, and if he finds us work and a place to live, we could escape."

─ "It is crazy, John."

─ "I'm tired of living a life that is not mine, sweetheart. There we could live for the rest of our days, the two together, happy and at peace."

   And crazy or not, at 16 they escaped to Basutoland, to Maseru, where Mthunzi had already found them work and even a place where the two could live comfortably alone. John Richmonds and Mthandeni escaped without the parents of John knowing anything. So that you have an idea, Protch, in which year we are, I tell you that then Lucy was four and lived with her mother at Brenda McDawn’s.

   John then did not have his own money, but Mthandeni did.  They traveled by train to Maseru. They did not have too many problems on the border and one afternoon they came finally to the capital of Basutoland. In the station awaited them Mthunzi, the only friend before whom they did not have to conceal their love. He led them to the small apartment in which they would live, a huge dining room, which was also a kitchen, a small bathroom, and a bedroom, small, but at the sight of which both John and Mthandeni began to cry. He thought that there they could love for life. John’s parents did not know where they were and with that small apartment they had enough to begin their life in common.

    In Maseru they soon began to work in a small shop of beauty and cosmetics. Mthandeni’s situation had changed. There a black man did not have prohibited areas and was truly free. And poor but together they lived two years of madness. Every night they returned to their home and there they loved each other passionately, overflowing all the feeling built up during the day, deciding not to even kiss in the street, because the risk of not being understood, being two men, remained. They didn’t even speak of love during the day and people in the shop thought that John and Mthandeni were two students who shared a small apartment. Only they told the truth to Mthunzi, because they often went with him for a drink. The two teenage lovers already believed they were going to spend their life together and occasionally made plans for the future. They were the first happy years in John’s life. You don't need to be a millionaire, as he would be one day, to be happy and he was getting used to postponing everything that he considered not important for his happiness and to remain, rebellious, with what it really was.

   But a shock would make that idyll come to an end abruptly. Suddenly one day when John was alone at home the doorbell rang and when he opened his uncle Harold’s austere silhouette was there.

─ "I finally find you, John."

─ "Uncle, what are you doing here?"

─ "Your parents and I have been two years thinking that you had gone forever from this world. The police have searched for you everywhere in South Africa. But you could not keep forever the deception. Mthandeni had said something to a coworker, and after hard efforts - some had been whipped-, we have known of your flight with him to Maseru. You do not find it shameful to live with a man, but I don't know if you know that your parents and I are ashamed. And willing to straighten you. Tomorrow I take a flight back to my country and you are going to come with me to the Capital, where you will live with your mother’s brother and mine, John Blessing, widower with a son also called John, like his father, like you. And you will stay there until you finish a career and you match a good woman."

─ "I don't want to go anywhere, uncle. Mthandeni is my life and I want to stay to live with him."

─ "You are speaking nonsense. You are a minor and neither your parents nor I are going to allow it. And if you don't do what I say, I will make that your Mthandeni is reported, for abandonment of his job and for corrupting a white man. So if you don’t want anything of this to happen, tomorrow you will come with me to my country."

   John was then helpless. He hated his uncle Harold, but he realized that if he rebelled Mthandeni’s life would become complicated, maybe even with jail. So, he said.

─ "Let me at least write him a note."

─ "Ok, but let it be brief. Tonight you come to my hotel and in the morning you fly to my country."

   He hardly had time to think what to say. He could only explain that his uncle Harold had found him and that he should move to his country or otherwise, Mthandeni would not be safe and could end up in some prison of South Africa. He had a broken heart and tears prevented him to see if in that note he had written something of what he fell, to express to him how much he loved him, to ask him to forgive him and reiterate that he was never going to forget him.

   Life in the Capital was arduous and never-ending for him. He got along well somehow with his uncle John, but with his cousin only they said hello to each other and little more. He knew of his story with Mthandeni and did not respect it, so they barely spoke.

   But in the capital and with them he spent his university years. He didn't have any vocation in particular, but his uncle Harold, who he always hated, said to him that one day he could set him up in the Thuban Star, in Hazington, where he worked then, not as president, but as the right-hand man of Norman Wrathfall, who was. He then studied economics and moved to Hazington, where he had an apartment in Riverside, which his uncle Harold, a millionaire, had given him in our year 15. He went frequently to his house in Evendale, more to see her aunt. Rose Blessing, the wife of his uncle, did seem nice and understood John and was confident of his hidden secrets. And he frequently spoke to her of some dalliance that he had had in his college years, nothing serious, but of course always with men, something that his aunt did not criticize. But he lost her soon, his uncle Harold became a widower and working in the Thuban, that now he presided - Norman Wrathfall was still young, but had been delegating his functions to his friend Harold until he decided to transfer him the Presidency of the company, while he stayed there more comfortable as an adviser of the company – hardly ever spoke beyond work matters. John soon was promoted to director of the project office and became a member of the Board of Directors. Shortly after working there he learned through the press of the creation of the State of Lesotho, on what had been the protectorate of Basutoland. He remembered his days in Maseru, and Mthandeni, who he recalled with nostalgia, still in love, whom he never forgot.

  I will overlook the nine years he spent there without finding happiness, when I was not even working in the company and even though you know them all because they were once my guests, Protch, let me remind you of them.

   First of all let me tell you something more about Harold Blessing. To preside the company made him soon forget his widowerhood and then onwards he would be devoted only to accumulate money. Empty and without happiness his nephew John Richmonds continued somehow amassing riches as an automaton and becoming a millionaire, not so much like me, surely, who had also inherited the Siddeley industry, but certainly in those years he made a small fortune, because he went on as he could in the faith instilled to collect treasures, that he and I were brought up to believe without questioning its usefulness at all. Some began to call him contemptuously African, but he did not complain, and his big secret only was known then by Anne-Marie.

  Finally far from the presidency, Norman Wrathfall had a loan off his mind and could in the end devote himself to his daughters, because he had several, and some he had lost for his inability to understand them, in the years in which the Thuban Star ruled all his energies. Man of a strong character who perhaps softened with age. Now I know that his life was apathy, but he didn’t care because making a fortune was all that mattered to him. And now as an adviser of the company, he continued enriching, earning perhaps less but with half of the occupations.

   It is also possible that you remember Anne-Marie Beaulière, who in the early years was such a good friend of John’s that she even fell in love with him. But John never hid the truth from her heart. She was a really loyal and friendly woman for her friends and always, when she loved him and when finally she no longer did, a support for his heart and often by his side; and when I arrived, we went frequently out all three together, until my relationship with John grew apart. But this part of my story I'll tell you when you reach the years that my lacking sense days were only my prehistory. When I entered the company, she was my assistant. An excellent woman of whom I will often speak and has always been on my side.

   Soon promoted to chief accountant, Walter Hope was an orphan of unknown origins, but often flattered by Norman Wrathfall, perhaps set up in that job by him one day, really thankful to him, did any work for which he was required. He was extremely ambitious, and when I arrived our relationship was never good, because he saw in me, due to my surname and my way to make businesses, a clear rival in his road to the presidency, which he dreamed of inheriting one day.

   In our year 22 was promoted to the Board of Directors one Thaddeus Barrymore, head of the industrial section. Young and ambitious, I found in him an impossible to decrypt enigma. He did not agree with many of my projects and more than once prevented some business to come out ahead. But at other times, something that I planned, that was difficult to have any success, had his approval. So I never knew what to expect of him and doing any plan, I could both expect his blessing as his contempt.

   In year 24 arrived directly to the Thuban Star a moron called Nicholas Martin Siddeley. I'm sorry, Protch, but I don’t have another name for me those years. Firstly a friend of John and Anne-Marie’s, then estranged with the former, who I am afraid I did not understand and even insulted one day. I was not sure what I wanted to do with my life and disoriented, not knowing yet my true path, was always more or less next to John Richmonds, now my fellow mate.

    Not known by you was the third President of the company, Samuel Weissmann, who arrived to the Thuban two years after me and who you haven’t known. He was American and one good or bad day, got the shares of stock of Harold Blessing, and came to this country to preside over it. He is a man perhaps dry, perhaps lively. I could not give you opinion of him in the years prior to the street. I just know that I never had problems with him and this sometimes was strange, because I was already in my drunken years.

    On the floor below, in the bar, also important, then were Arnold and Jeff, but they soon hired a new waiter, one such Richard, who would later become important in this story. But if something you know of him, please don't say anything yet, Protch. Be patient because we have to continue to respect the chronological order. The important thing now is that John was for him Mr. Richmonds, and as such he addressed him and took care of him.

   He had lost Mthandeni, perhaps forever, her aunt Rose. But one night in which his parents, as they used to do three times a year, flew to this country to see him the plane crashed and he lost them also. It took several days to find their charred remains. They were to be buried in Durban and John caught a flight that would take him back to his native Africa.

   He attended the funeral, downcast and sad; wondering how much his parents would have known of the hidden truths of his heart and recalling the serene way of seeing life of Arthur Richmonds and his mother, Dr. Nora Blessing’s happiness. His parents were members of the Dutch Reformed Church and in one of its temples, he could never be said to share the faith of his parents, he cried and said goodbye to them: good bye Arthur and Nora Richmonds, I hope that your life was worth; mine no longer makes any sense.

   Without believing himself capable of doing it, now he was alone in Africa and he was of age, he then flew to Maseru. He sought Mthandeni but he could not find him. He then went to the address of his cousin Mthunzi. Same result. Desperate, he knew at the end by a neighbor, that they both had moved to any country in Europe. He had to leave it there; hoping to see him one day again and he had no resentment and was able to forgive him.

    He returned to Hazington and although he was trying to see it all differently, he could not help but to observe his life as a heavy burden. He had no parents. He had no love. He had nothing. He confessed his concerns to Anne-Marie, but she couldn't do much about it. And a Jan. 25, desperate in his house, he decided to drive to Rage Bridge. Life didn't make sense for him. He would jump from the bridge, as so many had done, and all his bitterness would end with suicide.

   He left his home on a really cold night. Soon he saw in Riverside Avenue that that night a heavy rain was foretold. But in the meantime, as he was driving, another rain, in his eyes, fell hard. Under these conditions driving was dangerous and he could kill himself. With that thought he smiled. He was going to kill himself. Did it matter if it were otherwise? But life has defense mechanisms. He had chosen to die by throwing himself from Rage Bridge. That decision taken, yet he clung to life, and drove with care and prudence. Arriving at Rivers' Meet he saw a second how the Heatherling died in the Kilmourne and thought: within an hour, or little more I will end in the same waters. It will be not drowned. He supposed that the height of Rage Bride would make him die of the hard blow.  One second and all his pain would end. He was determined to go.

  In Temple Road he reviewed his life believing that he had never been happy. But he corrected himself. The years with Mthandeni he had been very happy. But it was not likely that he would see him again. He recalled his years in the Capital and in Hazington and to have a fortune didn’t help. I have nothing that makes me happy. The bright lights of the avenue seemed to shine like gold poured out. Gold he had and more than enough. But what do I want that money for? Friends? He only felt the pain that he would cause to Anne-Marie. I don't know if you still love me, but you will survive. He also reviewed the years when he believed to have more friends, and yes, Protch, in this desperate and empty journey in the car, he remembered one such Nike, who had failed him. I know that he imagined me in the many party nights we spent together, he hardly drunk, but knew the effects of the hangover, mostly in me. He was already in Castle Road. Afterwards there was only Wall Street, and a couple of avenues, and Rage Bridge at the end.

    It was then when it began to rain hard. But it was the rain of that night that changed his fate. Driving on Wall Street, the streets were deserted. In that neighborhood of Castlebridge criminals could stop a car with a knife, he knew it well, but that night there was not a soul in the street. But it suddenly began a rain so hard that it caused him to stop the car a few seconds. Under these conditions, driving was a suicide. He couldn’t see anything. He parked near Wrathfall Bridge and stayed a few seconds in the car.

    From there, the silhouette of the bridge was conveniently seen. He saw well three eyes. The two closest to the river were illuminated. Surely beggars who had fired two bonfires. But the western eye, the closest to him, was in the dark. Suddenly, and although it seemed insane because of the night as it was, he thought he would go down, take refuge there a few minutes until the rain stopped, and then continue his gloomy journey and his final goal.

   He soon saw that water prevented him from walking safely. To get to Wrathfall Bridge there was a steep and dangerous descent among elms, but he was determined to find refuge in that eye of the bridge. And maybe he could stop to meditate if he still had any alternative. Fallen leaves, the slippery and muddy ground, on more than one occasion made him slip and lose a little balance but he never fell.

   Beggars in the two adjacent eyes should have heard his footsteps, but no one approached him to accuse him of anything. The eye he entered surprised him because it had a lot of wood ready but it was not lit. He sat on one side with all the wet clothing and began to cry. It was January 26, our year 26. He was crying when something startled him. Unexpectedly, from the other eye, the opening closest to the River, emerged a completely naked man who spoke to him.

─ "Who are you?"

─ "My name is John Richmonds. I thought that there was no one here and I have come down a few minutes to see if the rain had stopped, but if you are bothered by my presence, I'm leaving now."

─ "Stay the time you wish, but in a bad neighborhood like this the presence of a naked beggar you may not trust. My name is Miguel McDawn"- and they shook hands.

─ "It could be me who is not worthy of trust. You don't know me and I could be a ruffian with bad intentions."

─ "No. Your face says you are a good person. I can swim in this area of the Kilmourne and so I wash myself almost every day, but I make the most of nights like this to have a shower with the rain. I will finish at once; because there also roam here a couple of rats and I have a phobia of these creatures. I'll get a lighter and light the wood. Do you have?"

─ "I don't smoke."

   Miguel then sought a cleft on the left wall where he kept everything, he was explaining. There he had left his clothes, blankets, books and even coffee and sugar to have breakfast before going out each morning.

   He lit the fire and John approached it as Miguel finished his shower. He reappeared two minutes later, telling him that he had already finished and asked if he cared he continued naked.

─ "It does not worry me, Miguel. Perhaps it would be you who opposed if you knew my life."

─ "What is it that I notice that you want to tell me and do not dare?"

─ "Well, if you don’t like my answer, I will leave you alone and you will not see me. I would understand. I like men, Miguel."

─ "I do not usually get shocked before dinner. Then I have indigestion and I cannot sleep well - and he paused and then asked-, well, what did you expect for an answer? Not all men like women. But there is nothing more obviously natural. I'm not going to get shocked nor am I going to expel you from here, John. You will only go when you want to go. And don’t be afraid of anything, I live in this neighborhood, but am not going to steal you."

─ "I am sure you won’t, Miguel."

─ "That you can only be sure of when you leave and see that money and everything else is still in your trousers. But look, as it continues raining in a torrential way and it will be at least one more hour like that I suggest that you dine with me. And I would advise you to remove your clothes. You will not be able to walk anywhere later and fire can dry them. I'm not a satyr. I am not going to do anything. Only we will be two naked men dining awhile together and we will talk of whatever we like."

─ "Well, if you have no problem in being next to a naked man who likes men, then I will take off my clothes, I will."

   At that time Miguel approached the right wall, and gave a few taps, it seemed an agreed signal.

─ "In the next eye sleeps my fellow mate Bruce. These taps are because he is probably hearing voices and to reassure him, so that ke knows that nothing happens. Then he will tap on his right, where my three female mates are sleeping, my dear Mistress Oakes, and a mother with her daughter, my friends Olivia and Lucy, respectively."

   Miguel then took from the cleft a cheese and a knife.

─ "I don't have bread, but please dine with me."

   But John seemed reluctant for not leaving a beggar without his food. It should not be easy to get it.

─ "John, if you don’t eat, I will think that you feel disgust because I have dirty fingernails."

    John could not allow that thought and answered.

─ "Hand me the cheese, Miguel. I will eat with you."

─ "What would you think, John if we addressed informally? Two naked men dining together is a situation to be confident."

   They began to have dinner in silence, but then Miguel asked.

─ "John, where were you going, on a night like this?"

─ "I had the whim to see the viewpoint of Rage Bridge, and the falls of Wrathfall, which can be heard from here, and I have never seen."

─ "John - and then he increased his tenderness-, with a night of rain?"           

─ "When I left my house it was not raining."

─ "You are not telling the truth. There are many people who go on excursion to see Rage Bridge, which I think it is ugly, but at least it is great. And the beautiful waterfalls of Wrathfall, whose sound indeed rather than bother this bridge beggars cradles us. But no one would go there today. That is, unless you have an intention that many have in that damn bridge. You were going towards it to commit suicide, isn't it?"

    And John could not still lie and confessed the truth.

─ "I have nothing in life. I am South African and there I met a young black man, called Mthandeni, who has been my only love. But my uncle turned me away from him and I have been here, empty, living several years, working in the Thuban Star, I don't know if you know it. Recently my parents have also died and now I have nothing, except money, which does not give me satisfaction."

─ "I thought that I already knew your face. And even your name. I was a lawyer before being in the street and my company took many times issues of the Thuban Star. Maybe we have met before. I worked for Aubrey, Fielding and McDawn, do you know it?"

─ "Holy heaven, I do. I think you and I have previously met."

─ "John, do you really think that suicide is a solution for anything?"

─ "I know this question is often asked and I've answered it more than once. Suicide may be the failure of life, but it is a solution for when the pain makes you feel that now you can't go on anymore and that is happening to me."

─ "But if you do not live anymore, you will never know if you can find another man that loves you more and be the man of your life. Existing makes us frequently experience extreme pain, but often after it, comes the true happiness. I have not found the love of my life. I confess that when I got to the street, I was in love with Olivia, but staying in Wrathfall Bridge, with all my mates, it happened to me that I fell in love with Lucy, her daughter, and I have never said anything to any of the two. As can happen to you, the love of my life can still be waiting for me."

─ "I should have met you before, Miguel. You speak with enough common sense. If these are my last hours, it is a pleasure to have met you first. Meanwhile, I feel that I'm at home."

   I'm at home. He was the first who said it, but wouldn't be the only one.

─ "You can come here when you want to talk to me. John, it has stopped raining. Answer me honestly and courageously. What are you going to do?"

─ "What can I do?"

─ "You can stay here tonight. I usually sleep pretty late and we can still talk as longer as we wish. You know? I have a strange feeling with you. I've been on the street two and a half years and..."

   John interrupted

 ─ "Why did you find yourself in the street?"-.

─ It is very difficult to believe, but then I saw many who did what I did. I have not yet found any clear motives. I guess I was looking for freedom and live according to my own rules without anyone imposing them to me, but in short, I'm on the street because I chose it. One day I left work, money, the house I had, everything... but in doing so, you won’t believe, I began to live."

─ "You can choose it then. Miguel, if really I'm not a nuisance to you, I will stay here tonight. I have no desire to suicide at the moment. And if tomorrow I again have this temptation, I would come back to talk to you. But I pray that you're not so tender with me. I could fall in love with you."

─ "If you fall in love with me, let me know, and you'd have a very strong hug first and then I assure you that if you wish, we would see every day. In fact I wanted to tell you I have a feeling that I have not had for years, since I came to the street. The people who do not live here speak to me always as a beggar, and compassion is evident, but with you I feel that... you are talking to a human being. I am a man again."

─ "I don't know what time it is. I have not brought my watch, but it must be about 1. At this time I should be dead. But the rain has made me know you and at least this evening I will not die. But I am sorry to tell you this. I don't know right now how long I will live. But it has happened to me. Forgive me, but I've fallen in love with you."

─ "You should not ask forgiveness for that - he said while he began to caress him tenderly-.  I promised a hug, but since we are naked, I think a touch would be better."

─ "But, Miguel, for goodness sake, you like women and you are in love with one Lucy."

─ "It wouldn't be the first time for me to make love with a man, John. I did when I was in the army. And you are a very sweet person. Something drives me to make love with you, and more knowing that you love me. Let yourself go. You're not a man who objects to do it with a beggar. And tonight I desire you and I'm going to make that instead of death, you are given a new life."

    Suddenly, already without rain, a star seemed curious and sneaked into an eye of Wrathfall Bridge. He, who had believed that was driving to suicide, unexpectedly had found a naked man with whom he was beginning to make love.

─ "If I could fall in love with a black man in the South Africa of Apartheid, I can sleep with a beggar, and I could even have a second life with him. At least I could keep his friendship."

─ "Do not have any doubt, John. If what we are going to do now gives you pleasure, we could repeat it, see us every day and be friends, and make love often. This life is not for you, but you could devote me a couple of hours each night."- And then he kissed him.

   It was difficult to think and John allowed to be cradled among the unexpected blankets that gave him life. That night with intense cold muffled by the fire, they lay together and they started to know each other and to yield to each other. He realized then that the love of his life, even though he would always love him, wasn't Mthandeni, it was Miguel, and without saying anything, he even got used to the idea of thinking to accompany him on the street. The idea did not scare him. He had lived in miserable conditions in Basutoland and there he had lived the happiest years of his life. He might have a second life as a beggar, because although Miguel didn’t love him, he gave him the possibility to see each day and by his side he would be again a living man. He didn't need to be loved; he needed to be liked. In the case of John, it seems possible to think that at least one of us went to the street for love, but he still had not known the other four or the air of freedom which permeates our lives and love was not the only thing that made him decide to stay there forever. The naked night followed, but instead of being the bitterest of his life it was the happiest of his life, and after the battle, the two were laid to sleep together, John in Miguel’s chest, and surely he failed to sleep a bit, his mind a torch which illuminated the glass of his existence with Canopus reflexes in the northern hemisphere, Miguel as a beaver under the bridge and stroking him and kissing him until they fell asleep, for the first time twins, the rain of that night as the vanguard of the happiest years of their lives.

    The next morning, he found Miguel making coffee with water he had brought from the river. Noticing him awake, he wanted to say something else. But he gave him a kiss in the mouth and only told him.

─ "John, drink your coffee quietly, for now I have something to tell you. Could you sleep at least a couple of hours?"

─ "I don’t remember that I have been able to sleep anything, and you?"

─ "I had a lot to think about, and I've slept little, but something I have slept. John, what I'm going to say is not easy and I don't know if you’ll believe me. But tonight I've noticed it and now I have no doubt: I love you. Yes, believe me. I am telling the truth. I love you, John. But what are we going to do now? I don't want to get out of the street. I would sooner or later regret leaving it. And this life is not for you. You would go back to your wealth in a few hours. And what would I do without you?"

─ "At this time, Miguel, someone should be finding my corpse in the waters of the Kilmourne, but however you are offering me real happiness. You know that I lived with virtually nothing in the present Kingdom of Lesotho. I don't want money. I want to try it with you. But tell me, with hand on heart, how long will it take you to be with a woman again? With that Lucy you love or with another?"

─ "I like women, John, but also men. Now I see it clearly. And Lucy, when I have fallen in love with you, I know well that I do not love her anymore. We could try it. If you are not trained for the street, we could see each other every night. You don't have to go any further."

─ "Miguel, now I'm going to my work, but to leave it. Today I will go with you to beg when I return. I don't know if this is going to be fine. I am not worried about the street, but about the fact that you like women. Anyway, let's try it. Now we love each other and as long as it is so, my whole life I will spend with you, even if it is two days. I start work within half an hour. Now I will explain to them that I leave them and I come to live with you. Wait for me in a few hours.  And do not be afraid: I will return."

  And with that agreement, and even if Miguel didn’t know what to think, John came back into his car and driving with another face, got finally on the road.