CHAPTER L: THE EMBRACE

   The Torn Hand is not paradise, but it has sacred trees... and snakes. My house, in short, has a beautiful garden and no angels of flaming swords which, by order of a righteous God, drive us out of our Eden. Freedom without sin, Wisdom without charity, Beauty without compassion. It is not between the Tigris and the Euphrates, but we live surrounded by two rivers. And although the city does not have a sea, we cool off in the crystal of the lake. And the days pass without Cains or Abels, without biblical curses, with nothing, but with everything. I have to make an effort to summarize and tell you the most important things of past years, where there are surprises or beauty, where the life I want to live, already assumed, has placed me definitely;  my homeland a burning carpet, from the roots of the trees to the stardust.

   It is a pleasure to get to watch my wife not pregnant, as I had almost always seen her. But at two children we rested. Beautiful and rebellious, I like her mature way to look at the world, all conflicts go through her balance and leave it with the weight of calm, nothing is terrible and it is delight to look at myself in her kaleidoscope and love her without borders or boundaries, because love by her side is a stateless tramp.

   Out of a bad dream, it is a pleasure to keep assimilating Luke, always by my side and with no stains that darken his way, with two very important verbs: learn and love. Life is a constant insecurity, and that’s why we always fear the prophecy, hoping it passes him not touching him. Sometimes we talk about it and Luke answers that as every mortal he will have to go one day. Yes, but he should see his children grow up.

   The two brothers love each other a lot. Paul is now three years and a half and Kirsten two and a half years old and they play and they scamper around between the trees and the river. They have frequent racing in which constantly Paul wins. Kirsten gets cross a while, but she finally always kisses her brother and congratulates him. I think my son has a more analytical mind and my daughter is more poetic. She sometimes surprises us by telling us stories where it seems that the characters wander aimlessly and finally it is a well told plot. Since once we took her to the zoo, at Fairfields, her protagonists tend to be ducks – she loves ducks – which live in huge rivers that cannot find their sea. They are still very young to teach them to swim. We don’t know how they see the world having three parents and understanding that children have two. Someday they have to know the truth. Meanwhile we live fearing they are unable to assume it when they know it. Lucy is only or nothing less than mom. But his fathers are at the moment father Luke and father Nike.

   It was only a week of conflict with Miguel but soon we made peace with him and he is now one more of our fellow mates who thinks twice before saying something to Luke or me or any of us. John and he don’t argue as before. They forget their jealousy and do not struggle because of money.

   Money... At that point it was already clear that money was only a poison that contaminated my life. I could choose to live like them or not, but if it was the first thing, it could only be a pile of mud that separated me from my fellow mates. I have slept five or six times in the RASH. Without a doubt, it has excellent workers, but they have not been educated in understanding us, with our communication needs, be they tall stories or real hardship stories. One day I went with Luke, to change our daily routine, where I had previously gone with Bruce. And I saw Washington Street and Tomlison Hall again. Who would it belong to? Without saying anything to anyone, I started to come on pilgrimage to the town hall and knew that the mansion was for sale and that meanwhile it belonged to Amelia Tomlison, living in Evendale. I had told my cousin Edmund that I would be able to buy another Siddeley Priory and indeed after some interviews with Miss Tomlison – it was not easy for her to receive a beggar or convince herself that I was Mr. Siddeley and was serious-, I acquired the property. Protch, that's what your wife guessed. I wanted a more worthy place so beggars could sleep in. The palace has needed few reforms, but it has been two years under construction, and was inaugurated last August. I had to give a name to it and suddenly I remembered Luke, in his tale, had talked about my fellow mates as being Kings of the Earth and that’s why it was called Earthkings. These past few years I have spent much of my fortune in its maintenance and personnel needs. They tell me it's a decent place, but Lucy, Luke and I have not slept inside. Olivia and Bruce have done so. And of course Mistress Oakes, who always knows everything about me and often tells me that it is a pleasure to sleep there and she understands that I will not, she often says winking at me. I also spoke about my project with John, who has now got rid of what he had with the shelter. So now Tomlison Hall is Earthkings and its owners are John Richmonds and Nicholas Martin Siddeley. I spoke one day with Vincent McFarlane, I proposed him he could be the receptionist with other beggars he trusted. There they would also have another place to sleep. The shelter doors are never closed except, which is unlikely, if it is complete. It has 110 rooms, where every beggar can sleep individually. I go there on even days and John on odd days and we are always attentive to its needs.

   Soon I put my trust in Gerald Rivers, who deals with all of my personal affairs. He really needed someone to believe in him again and he thanks me for the trust I have in him.

   But year 30 would not die without having things to tell you. The end of the year brought us a tragic event: Sheila Grant’s death. It seems she got poisoned as a result of having eaten bad food in the RASH. Since then John and I are careful with the provisions of Earthkings. These years the beggars of Blood Cattle Route have regrouped: Myra and Elliot sleep now definitively there, next to the Spence brothers. It is more complex to say if still does Sue, whom I see walking the streets, but I avoid talking to her. Her mind is increasingly more lost although she talks less of monarchies now, more interested in all kinds of gossip. I went with Mistress Oakes, with Lucy and Luke to Sheila Grant’s funeral. Rest in peace, my fellow mate and I hope you can still find some alms in the squares of Wisdom. But after the funeral, my dear fellow mate spoke to me.

− "Sheila is gone and I gotta go soon - I tried to protest, but it was no good-. Vince will live longer but he is old already and you never know. The "house" belongs to all the beggars of the city, but you and I are the first and the last, Alpha and Omega, and at this point, Nike, I know what you're doing with what was yours, and believe me, now I know you're going to be here all the time. You should be one of the owners of the house of Henry Shaw."

− "Madeleine – I called her again-, I appreciate your trust but I am an unsure beggar."

− "You lack confidence in yourself. But here your family is now; you've gotten rid of everything. A man who does not know all that to be definitive would not do it."

   She was right, and in a few days I put everything in my lawyer Gerald Rivers’ hands. Earthkings took much of my wealth, but not all, so what could I do with what I still had? I knew one day talking to Luke.

− "My love – I told him- you know what I'm doing with my money. I want to be like you and have nothing, but we have two children and it will be an unsolvable dilemma."

− "Nike, when Lucy and I were thinking of this project, we assumed that you would accept and you will end up having this dilemma. A parent who has money is entitled to bequeath it to his children. I just want you to organize a way that I cannot touch your money."

− "Luke, don't be afraid: I believe you."

− "You do now, Nike. But I'm in love with a beggar with money. And I don't want to ever see in your eyes the least shadow of a doubt."

− "As you prefer. But I should not have the right to touch it. When our children are older, they can take what they need. Meanwhile, neither you nor I, my beggar, but Lucy will be able to use it."

    Luke agreed, and Gerald was in charge of all necessary legal tricks to make everything so organized. It took us longer than expected for something very simple in what we did not think: for legal purposes, my wife's name is Lucy Prancitt. In Washington Street there were also a couple of homes for sale. And I bought them to transfer the property to Paul Prancitt-Rivers and Kirsten Prancitt-Rivers. That's how I got rid of everything, but the great paradox is that I'm still working and earning money and I am now the owner of two houses in Washington Street, Earthkings and co-owner of "the house". But in the first three places I don't sleep; in "the house" I do sleep but there is nothing to possess and it belongs to me just as it belongs to Lucy, Luke or Enoch.

   We would also say goodbye to year 30 at James’, but the night before that we had the visit of the Matts again. For Shirley it was a dangerous adventure. It was a very cold night, but mostly very windy and although Nigel handed her his coat, in her advanced pregnancy she should not have been there that night. I was talking to Mistress Oakes and they came towards us. We were talking about religion, and she assured me that she would never speak against the gods, but against the churches. Nigel spoke for a few seconds.

− "Shirley and I are Catholics, but we don’t go to temples, we have our own interpretation of God and think perhaps that the fact give us the right to tell you - he was hesitant-..."

− "Go on, Nigel" - I said.

− "I don't know if I can hurt your sensitivity because I do not know to what extent you are believers."

− "Our beliefs, Nigel - said Mistress Oakes – are few and appropriate for us and we do not have orthodoxy. Speak without fear."

− "You see, Nike. Again it has to do with you or your Three. Look, when Luke named you his project in the cave, he rejected some words such as threesome or triangle. Since I can see that nobody is going to get shocked, let me remind you that if you look with a religious perspective, there is another word for three: Trinity. You called them sacred couple and Lucy has told me that your whole family is sacred. That is to say, in a sense, you represent the Holy Trinity."

− "I don’t get shocked at anything, but perhaps it is too much for us. Let's see, Nigel."

− "Luke is the father. His name is Luke Abram and from Abram come the three great monotheistic religions. You can clearly see that he is love, and instead of offering his son, he sacrifices himself so you have had a second child. Lucy is the second person of the Trinity. Her other husband calls her Daughter of the Earth, and I know that the Earth is a man for all of you. I don't know if now you see it: she is the daughter of man. Now you see it? And finally it’s your turn, Nike. If they are alpha, you are omega - I was surprised he was also using Mistress Oakes’ words. She winked at me-. You were called The Beggar of Spirits. And what does holy mean? It is the same as Sanctus. Etymologically I know Sanctus comes from sancire, to sanction, to consecrate. But is he not holy he who leaves everything and follows his own faith? –He asked me significantly-. Therefore you are the true Holy Spirit, at least in our city."

− "Thank you, Nigel. That is that you truly appreciate me."

− "But you also have a pagan side. And don't panic now. But the diabolical Trinity of which you have spoken to me is not only Compassion, Charity and Sin. You also represent it. Look, Luke and you have already called each other poor devil, which is not compassion. It is really caused by what you know of each other. Compassion dies with information. And what about Lucy? To start with she is the daughter of Venus, the light bearer. But remember that after meeting her and feeling your son in her belly, Luke asked your opinion and as you have told me, you used these words: "I know that he will be born well: Lucy bears it". Nike, do know how you can say "Lucy bears him" in Latin? Lucy fert. She is also Wisdom, like him. Now you see it: she is both the daughter of man and Lucifer. That’s why you need her judgment on all things."

− "There’s one more thing to say – Shirley was talking now- but I don't know if it is a bit far-fetched. Jesus Christ is a very respectable and highly commendable figure. The problem is what came after him: St Paul and the Christians. Are they not Paul and Kirsten? But do not be afraid. Your children will go on after you, but thanks to your education they will be the image and likeness of their parents."

   Shaken, but also by the wind, we ended that night. And we said goodbye to that year dining at James’, which has become a habit.

   Year 31 would begin with a surprise. One morning in the bar Richard, my "boss", approached me and said to me:

− "Nike, last night Sarah made me reconsider one thing: I want you to invite Gerald Rivers to the bar tomorrow - and as I looked at him stunned, he continued-... I want to talk to him. And do not worry. It will be for good. "

   That very day I went to my wife's uncle’s house to convey the information. If he was surprised, he did not show me. The next day there he was at about 10 and Richard would summarize the conversation to me later.

− "Hello, Gerald." said Richard coldly.

− "Hello, Richard" – he answered, frightened rather than impassive.

 − "Let us sit. Luke will take our orders in a while."

− "I suppose that you have called me to curse me. You will be allowed that right."

− "Gerald, look at me. Last night I was talking to Sarah, my wife, and she has made me think. Due to what happened, we should politely, as up to now, never speak to each other for life. But you honestly take the affairs of my friend Nike, and circumstances have changed. Once we were friends. I don't think that now that can be possible. But we can speak to each other civilly. And we should because we both love the same people. Time ago you spoke to me about your sister. I know her and love her. Lucy, Luke, Nike, all of them. We should make peace. On their behalf."

− "Let me apologize, Richard."

− "No, I will not let you do it, because I'm just as guilty as you."

− "I thought wrong of you. I thought you were an ambitious man..."

− "I was an ambitious man. Knowing that at last has made me think, together with my wife’s words. You incited me, but I was also guilty because I accepted. Life has later made me see that there are things more important than ambition. Look at Nike: he is a happy man."

− "And he has made Lucy happy, whom I like so much. And I'm sure that he has also contributed to my sister’s happiness. I guess that we will not talk to each other again but I don't want the same thing to happen to me with you. Let us make peace if you wish."

− "I want to do something else. I cannot intend having people’s trust if I am not willing to trust others. I want to make a will, and I want to put it in your hands."

− "Are you sure about that, Richard?"

− "Completely. It was not in my time, but I know that now Donovan, Rivers and Calhoum is an honest company."

− "It is impossible to thank you for this conversation. I would like to invite you one day to come to my house; I still live in Chamberlain Street, and I want to meet your wife and... Do you have any children, Richard?"

− "I have two." - And the conversation led to family issues and I do not know the rest. The important thing is that Gerald and Richard now speak to each other, as you know.

   And little more to tell you until March 30, also a day of births and goodbyes. The last time we saw Shirley Matts was on day 14. Then she stayed at home and we did not see Nigel either, for he had told us that when his child was born, he would go out to the balcony and would make us a sign. If it was Peter, he would raise a finger of his left hand; if it was Melissa, they would be two fingers of his right hand.

   The night of the 30th March we were all eating with a magnificent starry show and not a too cold night, when I saw Nigel on the balcony raising one finger of his left hand. I saw him happy, but something made his smile be worried.

− "Shirley and Nigel have had Peter." - I said to my fellow mates.

   But we had agreed that when that event came one of us would go up and inform everyone. It should have been Mistress Oakes, but Nigel made gestures with his hand to make me come. I didn’t have to ring the bell: he was waiting for me.

− "Peter is now with his mother. But I am frightened, Nike. Shirley is not well. I have just called a doctor."

   I went up and I really panicked. Shirley was then unconscious. I also met Peter Matts then, who ignorant of everything was then asleep and so beautiful... I welcomed him to life, throwing him a kiss.

   Then came Doctor Savage and Shirley awoke. He examined her as Nigel was trembling.

− "It's the end, doctor, right?" - She then asked. It was difficult for her to speak, but she made an effort.

− "You are losing a lot of blood, Mrs. Matts. You should go to the Philip Rage."- said the doctor.

− "It is useless now. Let me say goodbye to my husband. Nigel, my dear, put Peter awhile in my arms. How handsome he is. He resembles you."

  He broke down, crying torrents.

− “Do not cry anymore, Nigel. Everything has an end. Our son will continue me and you will not be alone. Remember Olivia’s words. If she was able to survive, it was because of Lucy. And I've been very happy at your side, both in my body and my mind. You will have my memory in our son’s eyes and the symbols that have united us. Lean on Nike, he will comfort you. I love you..."

   And she could no longer continue. She died then. Nigel then held his son in his arms in a rain of despair. I hugged him and told him looking at Peter.

− "Nigel, listen to me. Now you have to cry. Not everything can always be seen with a positive look. People who recommend doing it believe that life is a plane, but it is rather a polyhedron which has many faces, and now you have to wash in sadness and resurrect."

− "I do not think I can survive long, Nike, without her. I appreciate your words, but..."

− "Nigel, look at your son. He needs you. In addition to the last words of your wife, I am Peter. I don't know what happened but I think that my mother died in childbirth. But I also had to live without a father. I think, in his grief, he could not stand it and killed himself. Don't leave Peter fatherless. Immerse yourself in tears, because you cannot do anything else. And one day you will be able to remember her without crying and live on what she has left you: your son and symbols."

   He thanked me and asked me to stay there that night. I could hardly sleep but I accompanied him. The following night we all slept in his house and for a month we went every day for a while to keep him company, until in May he was able to work with new forces, leaving Peter in the hands of a nanny named Frida.

   We went to the funeral on 1 April at St. Alban and it was the first time that I entered the neighboring cemetery, and found it a place of peace and so close to us that I asked Nigel to let me accompany him sometimes to visit her grave. That day he could hardly speak. He cried incessantly and a couple of times he hugged me grief-stricken. I didn't know what to say and mentally cried with him, as I thought: "you are going to the third life, Shirley, and you will find peace in that place and even though you've already had it, it will flood you, and it will not be a new dress, Wisdom."

   A few days later came to visit us Anne-Marie. The new President had managed to put the Thuban Star among the companies that most sold in the stock exchange. I had already spoken to her about Nigel, but it was that night when they met. After the condolences, she stayed a while with us. Nigel and she began to talk.

− "Nigel, I don't know if you know that Nike, whom you like so much, gave me a star one day, nothing less than Vega, and when summer arrives I surprise myself looking for it and if I feel sad, it manages to calm me. You should give one to your child, and a different one for Shirley."

− "Although John and Nike are the star givers, I know that both will understand me if I give one to my son. He is Aries and he should have Hamal."


 

   Hamal, Alpha arietis, the brightest star in the constellation of Aries, also called Ras el-hamal, the head of the ram, one head where the zodiac emerges in the spring equinox. Thus, Peter Matts, will re-emerge your father’s mind brilliant, with the impulse of your ram.


 

− "And his mother should be next to him. I could give her Andromeda Galaxy, and each autumn when I am looking at it I will be moved but it is also nearby the peculiar star Alpheratz."


 

   Alpheratz is peculiar because it is a star of two constellations and it is at the same time alpha andromedae and delta pegasi, both of Pegasus and Andromeda. Also known as Sirrah, the navel of the horse. Shirley Matts, always close to your son, and for Nigel also his Golden Fleece. 

   That night he surely slept calmer. He was finding calm where he used to: in stars, symbols... He resumed his job in May, but meanwhile we were necessary for him and every night he sat down to chat with us, with Peter in his arms, sometimes also with Telemachus and Achilles.

− "Not now, because Peter needs me, but one day I may come with you – He told me one night-. It is a pleasure, Nike, that one day you stole my Ford. Nothing happens by chance."

− "Nigel – I said -, you can find more symbols for us. You know that we accept them well and your mind will rest better on the issues that have always occupied it."

− "Before Shirley’s death, she and I were looking for relationship with earth and light for you, the four beggars of earth and, we guessed, the four beggars of light. But always Bruce was missing, and he cannot be the beggar without symbols."

− "Retake it, Nigel. Remember that Bruce saw the light at the end of the tunnel."

− "That could be enough. Thanks, Nike, I will think of all this."

    It was a night of May when I saw him coming with an illuminated face. It was a pleasure to see him thus again.

− "I got it, Nike. In the end, Bruce is light of light. But follow me with patience. At the beginning, Shirley and I thought that you were four and four, but the eight of you are both light and earth. Look, she and I deduced this: as Earth in Greek is: Γη γῆς, more or less gue, gues, we thought that in our language it might have evolved to - ke, and three of you have it in your names: Mistress Oakes, Luke and you. And then of course it was Lucy: she was born in the earth, her husband Luke called her Daughter of the Earth and her husband Nike gave her this planet. And the others were the beggars of light. It was hard to find it in Olivia, but her name clearly comes from olive trees, which produce oil, Arabic zait, and this in turn comes from the root zt or zai which means both olive oil and lighting. In Miguel it is part of his surname: Dawn. John is full of light. He is the star giver and for many reasons Luke called him, and he has been for you, The Luminous Beggar. Then we saw that the beggars of earth are also the beggars of light, and vice versa. Mistress Oakes is the Lady of Shade, and I need not tell you that there is also light in shade. Lucy’s name and Luke’s name come from Latin and they mean luminous. And you and Mistress Oakes once again are alpha and omega, because she has planet Mars. But planets or stars are no good for us, because both of you have both of them. But the names are good. And you are Nicholas Martin. And look, Martin comes from Martinus and it means from Mars. Let’s go now with the beggars of earth. Olivia, I repeat, is an olive, which nourishes on earth. It was not easy to find earth in Miguel and John, but talking with them, I've remembered their place of birth. Miguel was born next to Puertas de Tierra, the gates of earth, in Cádiz, and John in Cape Town, and we know that a cape is a piece of earth going into the sea. Here Shirley and I were before her death and we could find no symbols for Bruce, and that is not possible. But besides what you told me that he had seen the light, I started researching the origin of his name. It comes from brushwood, which roots into in the earth as the olive tree. The origin of his surname was no good for me. But look Nike, in Latin was not much used the Y, which was Greek, so I decided to change it to i. And I wrote it like this: Sculli – he would paint it on the ground-, and I decided to make an anagram and then I saw the light, quite literally. You can thus read: L lucis. Imagine we write a full stop after the L: L. and now we can understand whatever we like, for example lux lucis = light of light. Thus illuminates the so-called beggar without symbols."

  It was impressive. Nigel resurrected with us. For the first time for someone on the other side we beggars were not only friends, but essential, and somehow he would also become someone on this side.

   Arriving the summer of the year 31 indeed without any disguise, we found a new pleasure. We left Paul and Kirsten with their grandmother and Lucy, Luke and I went to the Lake. They surprised me as expert swimmers and my wife, my husband and I dived often in its glass and spent hours soaking us naked in its calm water. We played, we washed, we shone, and we laughed. We washed sometimes at night with the Scorpion, resplendent, putting us a ceiling, but without biting us. And we did not lose spirit for seeing at times, in the distance, a will-o'-the-wisp from St. Alban.

   In September, Miguel and John went to the country of the former, and they returned in October. At the bonfire John was enraptured.

− "We did not go last year because Brenda married Luis Romero, a construction manager, and this year she is on holidays in September. She is not Mistress Romero. In Miguel’s country she is still Brenda Dolores McDawn Tébar. She is really pretty, but when I knew her I've lost my jealousy. Miguel likes her, of course, she is his cousin, but now I know that I am his true love. As for Cádiz, it is in my retinas forever, with its light and its winds, the gates of Earth, where Brenda lives also, the Cathedral, the quarters of La viña and Santa Maria, and our special place, where we went to swim every day, the beach of la Caleta. Hazington lacks the sea, but if it had a sea, it would also be the very Atlantic and that air seems to get here and I'm still breathing it."

− "But for the last fortnight, Brenda recommended us to travel a little further in her country and get to know, very close, Granada, where a big surprise was awaiting me. We went to see, of course, the Alhambra, and we went twice. The second day we climbed the cuesta de Gomérez. Climbing slowly, we enjoyed the light and the water of this Nasrid monument and we saw a black man coming down, but when he was close my heart skipped: it was Mthandeni. Still I cry when I remember it."

− "John." - He recognized me right away.

− "Mthandeni." – I hugged him trembling at the time that part of the water that came down in cuesta de Gomérez stayed in my eyes.

− "I had no time to explain to you anything, but thank God I will not die without seeing you again. This is Miguel, my partner; and she is his cousin Brenda Dolores"

− "I read your letter, John. And I was desolate. You know that in Maseru I had a cousin, who comforted me, but I have never blamed you. I know that your uncle Harold took you away from me. Then that very cousin told me to emigrate to this country and we came to Granada, where he had some friends. The first days I survived as a beggar, but I didn’t take long to find a job. I am a waiter in the Paseo de los Tristes, very close from here. I come to see my cousin, who sells souvenirs in the shops opposite the Alhambra. And you? What joy to see you again."

− "The same, my dear Mthandeni. I've been all these years in another country, where I live now. I will only stay for a few days. I used to work at a steel company until one day in January I met Miguel. I am now a beggar. Do you have a partner?"

− "I don't work today, John. But if your partner does not get jealous I can take you to my bar and invite you and there I will tell you."

   The patter of the water down the cuesta de Gomérez was impressive. John could hear its din: Miguel nodded smiling; he could inhale more muddy and beautiful scents. He breathed unmoved the dark light; Mthandeni rejoiced. It was impressive to note the irrigated ground. Alhambra, beauty, splendor, light. Seeing that extraordinary legacy, memories fretted. Those walls inspired epic memories, they hurt incredulous glances. They were amazed, speechless. A show, moon or sun, of peace.

− "I'm glad that you have seen him again, John." - said Miguel without jealousy already on the very Paseo de los Tristes.

− "My love life has not been easy. It took me years to forget you. Now I have no one but I have spent five years with a man named Amadeo..."

   They continued talking half an hour more and they saw each other every day until October 6, when they returned to Cádiz and on day 15 to our country.

"− I saw him many more times, there in the Paseo de los Tristes - sighed John-. The farewell was bitter. But Miguel on one side, Mthandeni on the other side; the Alhambra on my right, the neighbourhood of the Albayzín on my left, the river Darro kissing our souls near our feet. Oh, a part of me is always there. Paseo de los Tristes (Promenade of sad people), an ironic name, the most beautiful place of the world."- He concluded.

   In November, Samuel wanted to pay off an old debt with us and convinced me that one day we should all be eating at The Golden Eagle.

− "But I also want Lucy to come, so in the end, if you all accept, we will be four."

    It was one Saturday at the end of the month. It was a meal in which we shared some memories and Samuel spoke fondly of all of us and of our absent fellow mates with affection and respect. Also he convinced us to know his home in Martin Luther Avenue, south of Evendale and perhaps to meet his wife.

   And at the end of the year we three went to know his house, spacious, comfortable and modern, a well-lit first floor in a prosperous avenue.

   These past few years we have slept even in Nigel’s, Gerald’s or Richard's houses, but not in Samuel’s, because of Susan Weissmann, who more or less tolerates her husband has beggar employees in his company and is a friend for them, but she does not understand he comes to visit us. And talking to her about our family, although we told her clearly that our children do not sleep on the street, she could not help but mention them as "poor ones". And compassion and some misunderstanding are obvious in her words. She was talking about her children.

− "My son Samuel was already married before coming to this country. He and Joyce, his wife, have a jeweller’s here on Martin Luther Avenue. Susan is going to marry Rudy Kent, who has a real estate agency. She'll stay at home caring for her children when they have some children but what I mean, it is a good future for a woman and with Rudy her future is secured. It is more difficult for us to get Joan settle down. After studying economics, she has been several years unsettled taking some lessons abroad. And she doesn't even have a boyfriend, at her age."

   It was clear for Susan Weissmann this was almost a sin. But Joan resembles Samuel and she is restless and adventurous. I know this because I know her. Starting the year 32, her father made her begin work on the Thuban Star. And in a year, Anne-Marie, really grateful to Samuel, has made her an assistant to the Presidency and she has become her right hand woman. She often speaks with the waiters, friendly, smiling, and educated and Richard, Luke and I love her a lot.

    At the end of January we had an unexpected visit. Your nephews should be restless and they convinced their mother to come where their friend Nick was: remember that’s how Armand calls me. He came on foot and Crystelle was in her mother's arms. Sarah greeted us all affectionately, especially those she did not know yet, and she sat awhile at the bonfire. Armand likes me very much and he spent some time chatting with me, but soon he moved on to play with Paul. They run around out there and on one occasion we had to go and look for them to Meander Bridge, where they had been a while resting and talking in their child language. Since then we have told them to play where we can see them. Crystelle and Kirsten are close friends and they tend to look for treasures in trees, but not finding them they do not feel disappointed. Now they come often and Kirsten, Armand, Crystelle, Paul and Peter Matts are very good friends.

   The fire lit up Sarah’s face and you could see beauty and plenitude in her. She told everyone how she had met Lucy, Luke and me.

− "Sometimes the three of them have even told me some valuable words that I use in my association. Some sentences about the beauty of life and freedom that sometimes have helped a lot some people to give up drugs. In any situation you can be happy. Luke, for example, told me one day that the important part of mens sana in corpore sano was not to neglect your mind, because if your body fails, we can keep feeling alive and being ourselves thanks to the mens. They have spoken to me about the eight of you and I really want to meet you."

   And she really knows us all now and since then often comes to visit us, alone or with Richard. She feels fondness for Bruce and they tend to talk comfortably seated on the threshold of his tent. Bruce... more or less since then he comes to see you, but he hasn’t told you that he knows your family, just as Armand or Crystelle must not have spoken of their friendship with Paul, and if they had done, it would have no importance. And they get along especially well with James. Also from Armand I have known some things about you these years. These years... what happened, for example, to the Outcasts? -I started to tell them after being sure that anything I could tell them was interesting for them and they wouldn’t get tired.

   It all started one evening we were at Gerald’s. I don't know how the conversation started, but we talked to him about our neighbours and suddenly, without having mentioned to him any names, he asked us.

− "There lives Katie Chamberlain, isn't it?"

− "Do you know her?" - I asked.

− "Katie Chamberlain is the love of my life. I was deeply in love with her. It all began in a bar. Something dropped from her bag and I gave it back to her. We introduced ourselves and when I heard her surname, I told her that I was living on her street, and she told me that the street is named after her family. We talked and we were together for five years. It cannot easily be seen, but she has a great need of alcohol and some other herbs. In those years she was not on the street. Her mother's brother is called Maxwell Conrad, a police inspector, I do not know if you know him."

− "Yes – said Luke-. Maxwell Conrad arrested Sebastian Fraser, then the leader of the bald men."

− "Her uncle persuaded her to become a police informer in return for absinthe and marijuana - I thought, and later I checked, that Miguel buys it from her-, and be careful with her, because she still is an informer. Our love affair ended abruptly. It was when I made that stupid thing with inheritances. She knew it, and now I have the certainty that she reported me. She came to visit me one day in jail and I said goodbye to her angrily. Be careful with her."

   I suspected that from there came the old enmity between Olivia and Katie, I did not know if for having been his brother’s girlfriend or for having reported him. But talking one day with her I confirmed that it was the latter. She didn't speak to him, but let nobody harm him. Dear Olivia.

   Absinthe. All of them tasted it, but only Vera became addicted, and her hallucinations were frequent. She began seeing ants everywhere and one day we were celebrating Bruce’s birthday - all together, as it is usual in our birthdays – she screamed and said that she had just seen a snake on Mill Bridge. It was unlikely, but not impossible, because once there was a basilisk that bit me, and we were all looking for it. There was nothing, of course. We understood she was raving when she started to see faces on that very bridge or in the distant mountains. But next day she no longer raved and talked with me. Vera... she was always lucid and vital in the frequent conversations we had. She had good legs and often I found her in remote places. In those days she used to tell me she doubted whether to marry Enoch, because one could not live without the other one and she told me.

− "I don't know whether to create a new family, Nike – oft she told me-. I know he loves me, unlike my son’s father. But I do not want to be wrong again. Living with him and not getting married is complete happiness. I don't know later. Because I would not have a child again."

   But last summer we had a new start, fortunately with no consequences. Loraine talked a lot with me and she really appreciated me and since she knew I am in love with Luke she trusted me and often spoke to me about the love she felt for Evelyn, which ended up turning into obsession. But suddenly one day she tried to slash her wrists. She was taken to hospital, and we went all there, both the Outcasts and The Torn Hands. Fortunately everything was ok in the end and nothing happened to her. Evelyn told me with sweetness that I should first come into her room and reassure her. When she saw me, I told her.

− "Rely on Evelyn, Loraine. She really likes you. She has not stopped crying. I think she knows very well what your feelings are, and she will always be by your side."

− "I am so frightened, Nike."

   But Evelyn came later and I know something of what they talked about. Evelyn hugged her forcefully and kissed her.

− "I like you, sweetheart. I have known your feeling for years but I have not said anything. But it never mattered. Return to life, Loraine. I want to walk the streets with you again and look - and she kissed her mouth-: even I'm willing to try it with you. You know that men have only disappointed me and you're all sweetness."

   Evelyn still likes men and I don't know then how it was possible, but now they are a couple and not just mates on the street.

   Last summer the opening of Earthkings took place, but there is something else to tell. One afternoon in July I was surprised seeing two familiar silhouettes, climbing the slope. They were Edmund and Virginia Siddeley. I went immediately to greet them.

− "Edmund." – I cried.

− "Hi, Nike. It has been difficult for us to find you. No one seems to know the outskirt of the torn hand, and we have even tried to ask the beggars. But they didn’t tell us either. I asked them if they knew one such Nike. You seem to have a good reputation. So here is where you live."

− "Come, I will introduce you to my family and my fellow mates - and when they met my children, I immediately added-. They do not sleep here."

    Virginia began to play with them straight away, while Edmund told me that it was hard to see me there, but it was my life. He affectionately greeted everyone and they sat down where they could. They had come for a weekend to make sure that I had not repented of giving up something of what I had given up. They were staying at hotel Millbridge, in Alder Street, and I smiled. I knew it well. They had built it in what once was the disco Baphomet, where my story had begun. They spent all weekend at this hotel and were with us each time that we were not in the street. It was a nice visit, but once sure that I didn't want to recover anything, they left kissing us all, with whom they had got along well. And they promise to return every year. Dear Edmund, the best of the Siddeley of Gloucestershire.

   Still I don’t know who the report came from, whether it was not one other of Katie Chamberlain’s deeds, but I do not know if you remember Marilyn Mart, a receptionist at the RASH. It was actually that someone saw her staying with part of the money from the cash and she was arrested as a thief. But when she was being questioned she broke down and many things have been known. Marilyn is a cousin of Dominic Charlton’s and since childhood she has learned with him the creeds of hatred. She was never a bonehead, but she found a job in the homeless shelter and captivated the beggars with her fake kindness. She had enough with an ambush from time to time, with small thefts, trivial attacks, but she always knew where we were. But I am horrified when I remember that what she really planned, knowing our outskirts very well, from The Seductress to the Torn Hand, was causing a fire in any eastern outskirt, surrounded by trees. But thank God now she is in jail and the RASH is more careful with whom they hire.

   Emil West, whom I met on my first day in the street, died in September. Once I got to talk to him, but his mind was always a sponge soaked in alcohol. Finally his liver could not stand it anymore and the doctors could do nothing for him. Always a beggar dies, I go to his funeral, and thus I entered also for the first time the western cemetery in Martin Luther Avenue.

   I am filling your head with a lot of names. But it is not necessary you remember them all. Because I still want to mention some names of my life, who I am often with, where I go.

   To start with some beggars are able to leave the street. I don't know if you remember, Protch, once I spoke to you of a man called Youssouf, the first black beggar I saw in the city. He never returned to Bamako. He found a job as a waiter in the Philip Rage, and things are so good for him that he has even managed to bring his brother Abdel here. He works as I do and it is one of the ironies of my life, an alcoholic serving drinks. I hope one day I can consider myself a former drinker. Or Natalie Atkinson, who went with her relatives to the United States, where they tell me that she has got a job at a petrol station. Or Leah Johnson, now a cook somewhere in Churchway. Or Mordecai Alfarras, a Jewish with unknown origins, who God knows how, set up a photo shop in Damascus Road.

   Melvyn and Rhoda Trelawney are still walking the streets, but she is weaker every day. She must have little time to live… I don't like the expression "homeless" because it is euphemistic and false too. Many beggars have a home. They share sidewalks with us because they need. That’s the case of Alf and Gary Lane, a father and a son, the former is a compulsive gambler, the latter is an alcoholic and he is quite unfriendly. They beg beside us and later go to sleep at their home in Temple Road. Or the couple of Elijah and Zoe Sykes, great tricksters. That’s the way they earn a living. They have a shop in Northchapel where they sell everything, but also what they call works of art, and are really exquisite forgeries. Bruce told me that even you have fallen into one of their most oft-repeated scams. They are so well off that they have even some luxury cars. Sometimes you can see them in the city pushing one with the excuse that they have run out of gasoline and people give them money, not suspecting that it is a scam with that luxury car. Or Meredith Battle, whom we call Merry, since he says he has the height of a hobbit, who works now as a ticket clerk and lives in Alder Street.

   But there are many who are actually homeless. But they are very dear to me. It is a pleasure to see that now even talk kindly Luke and Walter Venture, the only victim in fact of the former bald man. And accustomed to forgive, he is often in company with the Italian Diego Rizzo, his former schoolmate, who made life impossible to him. Now in Knights Hill there are some beggars again. There you can see Herman Grover, a ruined former singer, who delights us sometimes with jazz rhythms. Castlebridge area remains dangerous, but the Seductress Outskirt beggars seem to be safer now. There live surviving as best they can Eddie Jupe, Lenny Clayton and his sister Sammy. They are the only steady ones and make a living by begging at the gates of the great hospital. In the Umbra Terrae Boulevard you can see the silhouettes of the old lady Caroline Huddleston and her friend Abigail Forrester, who never take a day for lost if they can’t get several dains. 

   And then there are those who I call dark beggars. You can see them sleeping anywhere, surrounded by cardboard sheets and your soul is moved. They spend their days filled with alcohol and in the night they scorn cold. Diana, Nancy, Ajay, Ethan, Harry, Kevin, may your days be fruitful and may your nights be full by dreaming of warm taverns. Among them is also Karl Lowitz, who surely is somewhat sadistic and occasionally tells you real horror stories, events that have happened supposedly to this other part of the city, beggars, until you find that those he names in his stories are ok.

   But I have hardly spoken to you about my brother-in-law James. After a year of hard work, he managed to leave finally the carpenter’s shop and achieved a place in the Milky way High School, who could have said it?, on Riverside Avenue, teaching geography. There he was for a year quietly, but rather concerned. Last summer he would tell me.

− "Long ago I’ve had this project Nike. A few friends have gone to San Pedro Nonualco, in El Salvador. They are cooperating there, building houses, and I would like to request a leave of absence and leave there for a few months."

− "I know what worries you, James, we and your nephews. But leave whenever you want. Remember that we have a key to your house. We will always be protected."

   In September he finally left and his first experience as a voluntary worker has been full. There he met in addition Rosa de Lima Yucuaiquín, tireless and warrior, who is never content with the situation of poverty in her country and she fights to transform the conditions. James returned married with her. We have no nieces and nephews at the moment but it is a pleasure she is the wife of my brother-in-law and talking to her and getting to know her. My family, as you can see, never stops growing.

    In their absence, this winter that refuses to die, not too cold but extremely humid and rainy, my children have slept at James’, Nigel’s, Gerald’s, Richard’s and even Anne-Marie’s. But a January night, unexpectedly warm and dry, we decided to not bother anyone and decided Paul and Kirsten could sleep in my old tent. We were having dinner sparingly, because we were having a hard time and hardly ate, but my children are always well fed, and with so much rain it was difficult to renew our wardrobe. Unexpectedly crossed Millers' Lane a well-known figure. It was William Rage, who I cannot stop naming. Perhaps he had a new romance there. The fact is that he saw us and neither Luke nor I he could obviously forget. Seeing a camp of beggars with two children there, he climbed the hill and threatened to report us. We told him that they did not sleep in the outskirt and politely explained to him that we had a brother-in-law with a house. But I don't know whether he believed us or if the threat can be performed. What can we do? They are owners of two houses on Washington Street, but so far they are still under repair and their mother often takes money to furnish them. We could take them to Earthkings, but it would be the same: two kids in a homeless shelter? Meanwhile they can sleep in the houses that I've told you, or at James’ as a last resort, but he has returned married and Rosa de Lima and James must live their life without being bothered. I have come to even think of leaving the street and settle all on Washington Street, but what about my fellow mates? I am in a quandary: whether I leave the street or I will lose my children.

   Sunday February 13 was bleak. I shall not find words to describe my grief. I liked her so much... But I'm still mulling over it and I cannot find an explanation. They tell me on Saturday afternoon she had drunk absinthe. She was a good walker and I know that once she even went as far as to Rage Bridge. She must have had a hallucination. So young, so beautiful, so full of life, many times I have known her happy. I'll never know if it was a suicide. Some have told me that before falling from the bridge, she shouted: Johnny and perhaps she threw herself down the parapet to rescue him. I don't know. The only thing certain is that I won’t see you again, dear Vera Lloyd, support of the Outcasts, sweet princess who has softened the lives of the Torn Hand beggars, tender light that will leave Mill Bridge without any lights. We have lost you, Vera. When you finally meet your child, do not forget us, because we who follow here will never forget you.

   At this crossroads of new pains I was when in the evening I saw you again, Protch, crying at Rivers' Meet. On Monday I woke up with the morning twilight and decided to come and see you. And along the way I met her partner and ex-boyfriend Vince. We stopped to talk and I asked him among other things how Enoch was.

− "He is shattered, Nike. He hardly eats or sleeps and thinks of leaving this world for good. It is very striking in him that he does not even feel like taking pictures. My old friend Enoch, I do not know how to calm him down."

   These past few days I have come to see you, now I realize that since I started to tell you the story of my fellow mates up to this moment they have been eleven days, magic number for us eleven, my fellow mates know where I come from, and I've had the opportunity to speak with Enoch.

− "All of us have lost her, Enoch. But your fellow mates are reasons to keep on living. Anywhere in the city, if they talk to me about you, they tell me good things. Everyone knows you, you often talk with them and we beggars are your family. So I thought, since they need you, and you know that I am, say, one of the owners of Earthkings, you could work there with Vince. If you are there, I know that they will always be well looked after and loved. And take pictures again, Enoch. I want to see your new albums of Earthkings."

   These last days, ultimately I'm in a dark path, not knowing again what to do with my life, because of my children, but I can see the faces again, stars of summer, of my friends, the Protch couple.


 

-So we are finally here, my dear Maudie and Protch. When eleven days ago I came to Deanforest, I only wanted to see both of you, but your wife was not here. I was lucky enough to see her later. In my first conversation with you, your mind was suggesting me to tell you my story and that of my fellow mates, which gave me a perfect excuse to keep seeing you. Sometimes we all need a story teller who shows his soul in the story, and just as it helped me to hear one day the story of my life in an old cave, it could help you to know of my last years. Only at the end of the first day I came to ask you something. But remember Protch I used these words: "at the end of my story, and only if it moves you, I will beg something from you. Tell me the truth, Protch, have you been moved?

−Maybe our inevitable tears - Protch said to me – are good for you as an answer. Dear Nike, let us please accompany you the rest of the road. Tomorrow you'll have eight keys and your children can sleep here. Now you will always inevitably be for us our friend Nike.

−Herbert - and I finally said his name. Then he cried real tears - Deanforest is yours, I will never want it back. I had to earn your respect and I've been watching that now I can count on your friendship. Maybe I rave, but I think that the eyes of your Jupiter statue have been changing and now they look at me appreciatively. But the request I want to make you is not sleeping in Deanforest. I've seen that the house is too big for you; you have the need to know my children and being, if you could never become parents, true grandparents for them. Finally, the request that I want to make is that you give me temporarily the palace. There we would live without disturbing you. Their three parents will take care of everything. We would clean and we would take care of repairs, food or whatever it is necessary and their Protch grandparents can enter whenever they want to see them. It would be like having a property and William Rage’s threats will be powerless.

−My dear Nike - Maudie said to me - we will fight so you can always have the palace on your behalf and legally that son of a bitch will not be able to hurt you. And Herbert and I will have a really fruitful end of life with you, your wife, your husband, your children and your fellow mates. Tonight they can sleep here, but tomorrow you'll have eight copies of the key. My husband and I have spoken and we want to get to know them all.

−Always be blessed, Nike. No one is going to take you away from the street or take your children away from you. Come here and hug me, please.

−Herbert - I said really touched. At that time, we three were really crying. We embraced affectionately. I had never before been embraced like that, so tight, with such a warm and sincere embrace, an embrace really useful to solidify a touching friendship with a few friends for always bright in my heart.


 

− "So I finished telling my story to the Protch. But you already know everything perfectly."

   The fire was dying. The moon was new at Leo. The last embers were shining.

− "I don't know if you realized that finally your story in these bonfires has also lasted eleven days."

− "Yes, I've noticed. But the story should go on. What has happened in recent years and what might happen later is something needs someone brave to tell”, Nike encouraged me. "I will now trust the future of our lives to you. You must follow us."