Once upon a time there was a beggar who was
born in a golden cradle, because the spirits of the universe, many times
indomitable and often indecipherable, wanted to confuse his birth and in the
bed of fortune, an orphan, they laid him. It is well known that they do as they
please, but it has to be believed that they know what they are doing; and wrote
that he should start his life as a king. And thus the Beggar King was born, not
knowing who he really was, in his golden cradle. –You can see, Nike, that beggars are born wherever
they want; and they do not remain in any time or in any space, since from all of
them they are expelled.
But just as
worthy the abode of the poor is, in the first hour of tears, as that of the
powerful, because it is given to no one to choose the name or the street. And they
had to locate somewhere the threshold of his road, which they had decided it
had to be long, and painful. Therefore they preferred to conceal his identity,
so one day, when he saw himself, he had to accept himself or get frightened.
And the true protagonists of the stories, whether they are noble or villains, are
always given ordeals to endure, and ninety-five out of a hundred heroes fail.
And if this is to be the story of a beggar born in the cradle of a king, you
have to tell the stages he has lived until he found out who he is. -All stages,
Nike, although some of the most revered codes must be sullied, or you have to violate
even the one which says that there are things you should not say, that must be deduced
with your eyes, without speaking, or the greater indignity appears: the offense
of not understanding the feelings of a beggar. If they are mentioned here, it
is because once the king did not catch the calling of the Earth; and his horror
does not let him see what his wisdom did understand; and you have to take away
cold from his heart, with words to overwhelm it, but not to break it. And,
however, you have to take the man who listens one shock after another, as there
are many certainties that nobody ever revealed to him; some truths that if he
had a story teller, should be told him, because he is not aware of his
greatness, his dignity and his beauty. He doesn’t know that he has more than
one traitor and that his important secrets often have been stripped naked and
exposed. That is why the narrator is almost omniscient. But it is difficult to
follow the chronological order because in every fable
narrative threads intersect and are sewn or comes undone whenever a character,
in chronological order, enters the plot. Perhaps that is the reason why all
stories should be told twice at least: someone who knew it should tell it to a
second person and that person to a third; and perhaps on occasions it is
narrated with the knots of the skein clear and tidy. And so, in the central chapter of every story, the main
events are seen again and the story is rewritten.
- But I'm losing the thread. I don't know whether I'll be able to tell it. And you are still cold, My Mate.
-It is true that I am increasingly cold, Luke, but
your words are beautiful and I want to hear your story. Continue, please!
-I'll try.
So Mother
Universe and Father Earth located his birth in the place they had intended; but they were a
mother and a father; and from them he learned to listen to their calls – More
than once, Nike. It could not be otherwise-. Poorly the narrator can discern
what for him it is mist about his early years, but he imagines him disoriented,
lost in an oppressive country that he felt it was not his country. But the
exiled kings do not hate the fictitious homeland where they have been enthroned.
The kings that are great never betray; neither the homeland where they were
born nor, once they have found it, the true one. That’s why much later, when he
arrived to his motif by Verôme, he understood that there were places, people
and loyalties he could not betray. And if he abhorred of fortunes and whims, if
he felt repentant because of his origins, the king should understand, as he
has understood each one of the codes of beggars without asking them, and
without anyone explaining him, because they were in his blood, that dignity and
beauty are everywhere: -also in wealth, Nike, they may also be found in wealth,
as in dirt, hunger, disease and poverty.
In his first
steps in life the Beggar King was surrounded by a court of false wise men, who
taught him very soon to accumulate solitudes in the form of treasures, although
they never explained to him what for (perhaps neither did they know what for).
And if he behaved with vileness - if he did-, it was inevitable, because there
is no dignity without indignity and from a real beggar both are treasured. And
we have to expose naked his miseries, because without them he would not have
been able to merge later with greatness. And years later, when someone who
loved the king -but this character will enter into the story without stridency,
without false pride or false modesty; he will enter the plot when it is
necessary to respect the chronological order - made him understand the hardness
of each course and that he should not suffer for not taking an instant decision
as the beggars he knew, he wanted to make him see that all paths, even if they
seem alike in the essential things, differ; and I hope the narrator is able to
explain them, how losing everything, they won it all, and they found a fire
which sheltered them but the king had more pain and a longer exile, because he could
lose it all after losing it all; and with a cold in his soul more gnawing than
the weather. And yet, what courage there is on the chest of this real man! And how
he knew how to place himself before his fate looking at it in the face not
knowing whether he was going to be loved or destroyed! But this is going too
far in the story.
–You are trembling, Nike, get a little closer to me,
so that you can feel my heart.
You have to
put all your heart– continues the narrator shaking- to describe the life of
the king trying not to overwhelm him, so that overwhelminging is not breaking,
although there is nothing wrong in moving. Because a beggar knows the difference
between compassion and commotion. You do not pity he who moves along his path
with dignity; and those we meet in ours and we do not know, we lack wisdom to
judge how he lives his greatness or his vileness. It is a problem of lack of
information. And those we meet we love or we don’t love, without pitying them.
If it is the former, you come to recognition of acceptance; if it is the
latter, the beggar gets away of his path without stridency. But you must not
leave commotion, the favorite daughter of tenderness, knock with its knuckles
on the door; you must let it in. And those he loves most, even if the king does
not know, are also those who love him most. But they doubt whether in his
learning of begging his beloved mates must accompany him quietly, to avoid
him horrors and sorrows, or speak to take him out of his exile; and help him
make his decision - if he has not decided yet - making him understand that
there is no reason for any exile. But perhaps that way they would push him to
an irrevocable situation which can be bitter -very hard and bitter, Nike!-, or
somewhat sweet. Bitter or sweet as freedom. –Thus the Street, my beggar, the
mother and the whore! If it is true that they did not know what to do, a grey
dusk in October they saw the arrival of a bloody spear of cold air that sank
its poisoned spearhead in the heart of the king; a wind of mortal terror that also
struck, as a gob of spit, the faces of a woman and a man who were getting warm
next to him, because they felt how he shook before a new fear of infinite loss
for an event that he had not caused, for everything was due to a rectification
of the universe. An evil wind that could bring a second and more painful exile...
or much worse! And the narrator, who may have also been a beggar, cannot permit
it: that thorn they have to extract to the crown of the king’s pain forever.
-My God! I'm tearing you up! I'm biting you like a new
basilisk and my heart is gonna burst with yours! I can't see you like that. I
look you in the eyes and I cannot find their light and, however, they return me
so much cold! But nobody is going to deprive you of what you love most, My Mate; and
I have to make you understand that what you are given belongs to you by right;
but in order to do this it is necessary to see the facts with the good sense of the
chronological order, following step by step what the laws of the universe have
been dictating. That’s why I invented this story, remember: just monsters of my
imagination, nothing else, although the characters are fancied tender and
known. And I had to do so, do you understand? So you know that it's over: that I
won't allow any damaging wind to freeze you. But how many times we have taught you
not to be afraid of your heart? And in mine you are and you will always be, my beggar,
and it and the universe are beating at the same time to express to you that
both love you, we love you. Do not cry that way, Nike, I can't stand it! You
have always shown me that you're a man, and if you have to cry, do it, but with
your head on my chest, that smells of Earth. Dear mate! I don't know what to
do: how to tell this story or I had better leave it here.
-Luke, if I'm afraid, your sweet words are giving me the courage
to hear your story just as you have imagined it. And I promised you. I will try
to resist the hardness or tenderness - and both of them kill – of what you have
to tell. You've said more than once that I've behaved like a worthy man. I will
seek my strength to hear it until you end because you have put your beauty in
the tale, and I owe it to you, My Mate; so I'll try. But I really will cry. You
are making me see in your king dignity in his unworthiness and I need to know
what happened to him. You seem to appreciate him so much that I do not believe
that you have reserved him a bad outcome; but whatever you have decided I will
listen to you. And if you are biting me as a basilisk, it's because I am
looking at you and I cannot stand the clarity that I know your eyes are sending
me, which can almost pierce this damn darkness. Give me time, Luke! Or
perhaps, as you yourself say, give me chronological order. I'm going to lie in
your heart, since you have taught me not to despise what is given to you; I
will feel your smell of Earth and thus I will not distinguish your eyes; and
that way the catoblepas will not kill me. Go on, please!
-Nike, your words give me the confidence I need. I
want to make you get some heat, my beggar, I have to do it! I'll see if I can push
aside commotion for a second. I will try to continue without any more shocks.
It is true
that the king amassed riches without purpose. But it is also true that he did
not follow the path of his parents and chose a different vocation, a different adventure.
And he put his heart in what he was doing, even his blood. Because there is no
work worthier than others, nor the alms of the beggar are unworthy either.
Each one is in their place with dignity and therefore sometimes their paths meet. So, one day he was working among raiders, people without a soul; and
yet, capable of unexpected flashes, because among his coworkers there was
already a beggar in essence. Beggars!... If the protagonist of this story, down
the roads that led him to maturity, ever ran into one, he would possibly be disoriented,
without information; his star did not guide him about appropriate behavior.
-But it is not known that he ever insulted a beggar, Nike, that cannot be-.
Although later... time will tell. But there are no reasons for horror: the king
of this story never insulted a beggar; or else the universe would have shrunk. But
that is another story, already told.
And if in
those years he did not show his beauty, we have to go back to his first teachings,
hard and dry. What they had of despicable is thar his teachers (ill advised by
those who have been called wise and do not deserve that beautiful name), always
taught him that passions must be hidden. His first lesson learned with fire was
that a king should look for a queen. They did not explain to him that there are
kings whose hearts have been created by the universe to warm up in the home of
another king's heart. -Everything in chronological order, Nike, do not shudder;
feelings cannot be hidden because then a hero finds himself surrounded by
traitors-. And in his total helplessness, he came to believe the precepts he
was taught, so that for a long time he was in Shade, a sign that has to be
placed opposite Liberty, until it was necessary to open his heart through the
bite of a basilisk or catoblepas. Of both. –The two of them were, Nike, in
their correct chronological order-. So hard they had made his heart that he
even believed that he had lost it, so deeply they had buried it. And meekly he
was deluded; and it could not be otherwise, a lot of ladies from the court
started to come to his sumptuous bedrooms. But you should not think that he
treated them badly: actually, he never knew them. And thus, he continued
looking in women what he could not find: an image as a mirror of himself. Also
in those years the wise men of the court taught him, like a mirage, the
delights of the poisonous concoctions they used to brew. They had the power of
lying and making you numb; and with just one sip, they burned your throat and clouded
your pain. And the Beggar King, who didn't know who he was, needed to lose the
suffering. It was a time of darkness. Darkness... Shade. And, however, he was
in his Star, the needle which pointed his north among the constellations, and
the first star which would lead him to Regulus. But perhaps he could then
perceive its pristine glares. Because the narrator believes that the king had
already found his prince. He worked with him and he would end up being the
sixth motif by Verôme: Clarity, The Luminous Beggar – it is the name which the
tale gives to this character, Nike, because this new beggar has come more than
once with luminous moments into the story-: a wise man, a tamer of snakes and
African moons, first bite in the deep of his vulnerable flesh. But the king
could not believe that he had fallen in love with Clarity; he remained in the
shadows. And when something is not accepted, the best of men is lost and
cracks. And thus, denying the direction of his love, not considering it worthy,
his hatred was a dart thrown to a noble gentleman. - But it did not reach him,
Nike, it could not hit him. Because you cannot injure a beggar who has already
found Recognition of Acceptance.
In this new
pain of the king the narrator does not want to be long. The tamer of snakes, on
the other hand, had another kind of darkness; but he was bathed by the rain of
January when he could have lost more than the light of his reason. Because it
was an infuriated rainy night, when The Luminous Beggar met The Beggar Master
(or Beggar Sorcerer), an amazing man who had faced fate or the laws of the
universe before him, and who, when he was tested in his motif by Verôme, had the courage of
the heroes of the great epopees and left everything to stay naked, hugging the
ground with what little it could bring: wealth or misery, freedom or slavery,
vileness or dignity. Perhaps the abruptness of his decision, the Greatness of
his heroism, the Horror in his early days of Hunger - opposite signs, if they
are not understood-, made him look at himself with pride and he measured the
three men who came after him according to his own scale of courage. Poor heart that
always feared rats and the bites of temptation and betrayal! Poor
heart that loved two queens and had no throne because he failed to choose
between the two! Poor heart
that bathed in the same Januray waters as his Luminous Beggar! And what
jealousy he felt, what cold, in the days after the rain, when he had to wait to
see if he could see the bravery of his mate! Jealousies and fears that explain
many things. Because with him he had found the beauty of another man who was succesful at
the same moment that he was put to the test. It was like a bonfire that
warmed him, a fire which had a repetition when, long time later, Verôme would
again be defeated by his beloved Dirty Beggar – do not frown, Nike, it is not
pejorative. Nothing happens by chance (so you have been taught), and all the
names have been assigned-. Because of this, the Beggar Master's spirit was inflamed,
seeing how each motif by Verôme after his was played with notes in tune. But he
was cheated in the eighth, because the three traitors of the king - they were
three, Nike - never gave him any information. And that explains that his fire, lit
by the arrival to his homeland of the last beggar, was put out with his
departure. He did not know that the king actually was exiled; He did not know
the music that was to accompany the eighth motif by Verôme, which would still
have the hardness and extension of an epic poem.
But sometime we'll have to tell the greatest indignity of the Beggar King, the penultimate
milestone on his long path of stateless person, before he found himself. When
he saw his prince with a sorcerer, fierce poisoned snakes came out of his mouth
towards them. He insulted them. It could not be otherwise, because a snake for
a snake, an eye for an eye, the eyes of The Luminous Beggar years later would
bite him; and with the most unexpected venom: understanding. It was his first
vileness. Necessary to accompany his painful learning; so that when at last he found
his heart, he did not reject it. - But he never insulted them for beggars, Nike.
Let this be clear in the story! He could not: the king needed to know himself and
there came the first flash of who he was, who he would be. Using his words, he
then received a powerful slap. As a beggar, he never insulted his reflection;
he only did so as a man.
So far we have told the hard stages that the beginning of his road had: ephemeral queens
in his bedroom, raiders without a soul, a fleeting prince he had lost forever,
mists and obscurations. Then... three and a half years of eclipse. Too long for
the celestial cycles! And he no longer had anything. But he still had to be
rocked by the arcana of rot: despair, degradation, descent into hell. The king
forgot himself and found that his feet took him to places that he would have
never dreamed to arrive: unhealthy clubs, infected slums where the excrement of
his kingdom took refuge: pimps, whores, criminals, bastards... (All individuals
that the wise of the court had never wanted to introduce him, whose
existence hid from him). But he never met them; he simply shared with them the
stinking drinks, until drop by drop, blood by blood, he was poisoned. He needed
an antidote, and rarities of the spirits, rectifications, it had to come from a
snake. His steps had brought him close to poverty, close to where those who had
nothing were, or perhaps they had it all or both things at the same time: near
beggars, close to his homeland. And on a night of a July whatever, in a bleak
field, the Prince and the King met again. But the former, now a beggar, no
longer conveyed any Clarity to his heart, which he had almost lost complete.
But the laws of the universe act at the edge of the abyss and will rectify whenever
they wish if they want one of their own people to be saved: the universe shrank; the eighth motif by Verôme began to sound. It was the time to inform him of
the truth of his birth; the time to confront the king with the beggar, to know
himself or get frightened. One other vileness - the last one, Nike, again in
the same direction, and finally he heard the unappealable judgment: it had to
be a bite. The harmful animal was stalking him, waiting to bite his blood so
that it was spilled by gushing and, once spilled and empty, to blow some new blood
into his heart; it was waiting for him to kill him and resurrect him. It was a
basilisk because he never saw its eyes; the catoblepas would come later. That
was a signal that left its luminous message: basilisk, little king, the second
star indicating him the path of Regulus. The universe decided that he should remain
in that outskirt when the arrival of the little king, was heralded, one who also
had to bite him.
-I can hardly go on. My god! How that
inconsolable crying hurts me! Damn it: there are things that should not be said!; I'm
being unworthy in front of the most worthy mate that a man can have; because I
know that there is a star that you love more than your life: the one which is
shining most brightly in my heart. And if a character reminds you of someone
very dear, cry, My Beggar; let your pain overflow so you never again have to
suffer. Forgive me for what I'm doing. But do not cry that way. Hold my
hand, strong! And tell me something quickly, please; I want to know that you
are ok.
-Luke, I am not going to say anything; I can't say
anything. I am fine. Go on, but let me hear you tearfully: I cannot do anything
else.
-You can hardly speak, My Mate! And neither can I. We can’t
name him without tears until our hearts are broken. Both of us. But what beauty
there is in you, even when you don't have any strength to hold on! Courage,
Nike! Not everything will be tears. Now you'll hear the most beautiful chapters
of the tale. And if you cannot resist it, burst into tears, like you've always
done, without shame. But if you think I'm going to kill you, stop me soon, I beg
you!
-No, Luke. Now I could only be killed if I don't hear your
tale until the end. I am shaken, but I don't know whether I'm feeling hot or cold. I cannot
decide because I can't think. Continue, please.
- I also need strength. I will continue, but do not let
go of my hand, Nike!
It could not
be otherwise: the universe, with its legion of eternal spirits and a superb
combination of improbable signs turned into a plan, had led him there to give
him eleven days among his own people, days with its eleven nights in which he should
learn, doubt everything, wonder; which would test him before himself and his
countrymen. Therefore we have to analyse with severity, and with infinite
tenderness! his behavior. But if for the King it was a gift from the universe,
it was also, and especially for beggars, who thus had the opportunity to meet
one of themselves, although he walked wandering and wrapped in strange and magnificent
attire: one who was to move them.
After the
bite of the harmful animal he was taken to a miserable tent, where The Luminous
Beggar and The Beggar Master saved him from more than one death. And if it is
true that he spoke again and believed that he offended, he actually raved: he was
doubly intoxicated. From The Luminous Beggar he would receive his second
bite, because when the eyes of the former met his, the king saw in those
lagoons, in its depth pearls, what few mortals have ever had the chance to see:
a radiant, touchingly crystal tenderness that had drunk from the springs of
true understanding. And that flash came from the eyes of him who he had
believed to be his enemy! -That was the real catoblepas, Nike, that strange
animal, because its eyes, which are lethal, should not be seen-. And lethal they
were for the Beggar King, from whose ashes the King Beggar would end up being born.
Yes, it was a slap in the face, an explosion, a jolt. At that moment he grasped
the calling of the Earth and he knew how to act. His following words already
announced what that new bite had done to him: he called free the only two
beggars that so far he had had the opportunity to meet; and thus, an eye for an
eye, Liberty was the first gift that the universe gave him; and the other seven
came with it. In fact, the eight gifts came to him in chronological order, one
after the other, but all at once. Because after Liberty, or next to it, came
Horror. The King Beggar felt repulsion remembering his former words, those of that day
and those of previous years, never forgotten, and apologised. And then...
sometimes the simplest things are the most touching, and any narrator can go
crazy trying to find inside him the expressions that can describe greatness. But the
effort is required, because there must be a story teller who specifies where,
when and why this man was great, indisputably great. He knows that he has heard
more than once, from those who loved him most, that he had been; and he also
knows that he does not believe it: he assumes that they are only tender words,
immovable faith, but only faith. –It is more than faith, My Beggar, or else see
what happened next-: the king, like many heroes of famous stories, was tempted.
They offered him to be healed by the clean hands of the healers of the Court,
but he refused. –He refused, Nike! At that time he understood that he should
renounce the homeland which he had believed his own and knew in a luminous way
which country he belonged to. To stay where he was and to wait and see what he could
learn was his first choice, brave and wise. He had just been touched by Wisdom.
And very soon, although no one had explained to him the rules, he respected the
place where he was and the people who lived there and there was no need for
anybody to clarify any code. His behavior that night, already a son of Dignity,
so would demonstrate it. Because only thus you can understand that he accepted
with no rebellion - because it does not protest he who agrees- the cracks of
the poor tent, the smell of the humble, scarcity, the little food, cold... the
hard stone as a pillow. The man that for all these things we will continue
calling king achieved Greatness when he recognized his mates as equal
and decided not only not to question anything (nothing seemed to him out of
place), but to adopt the resolution to strive to understand it, as a traveller
newcomer to a new and different world but which, however, he feels that he
loves; and precisely there where ninety-five out of a hundred would have succumbed.
The king glowed; the heralds of Clarity were being seen; and it flooded him when
knowing that he was among beggars, he assumed that he should live as a beggar.
And, in his words and gestures the simplicity of Beauty began to be shown. It moves remembering his first short sentences, his first babbling; they betrayed his way of
feeling what he had before him in order to make it his and love it. And all
with fear of offending! He never objected to what he was given nor did he protest
for the many things he lacked, because everything was in the right place. He
never tried to alter the lives of these women and men who he loved unreservedly
when he met them, because they were all on their right places. He never judged
any of the seven with nothing that was not justice, or tenderness (another name
for the same thing); he was always a surprisingly lucid impartial judge. There
was no compassion; there was no need: everyone wanted to live the way they lived. Everything
was on its right place! It is no wonder the deep love they felt for him. Yes, he
had brought with him Commotion, the sign whose coming was expected: the eighth motif by Verôme was finally with them. Liberty, Horror, Wisdom, Dignity,
Greatness, Clarity, Beauty, Commotion! The eight gifts came to him and in him they
remained. That place had pleased the king and he thought that as long as he was
there he would try to be one more of them. No, there never was the shadow of
that ghost named the gentleman of beggars; not even at the beginning of those
dazzling eleven days.
If you think
that this behavior is the most habitual in anyone who visits the outskirts or reside a
time with beggars; if you can’t see its greatness for uncommon, note that they
had hosted again and again various types of people: relatives, friends, mates in misery, occasional acquaintances, and in general passengers
going through different paths, but all guests of this very great inn. And
among those passers-by were many Christians of different churches, in which
compassion was obvious. They wrongly read the bottom of the hearts, because
they are used to read little more than their sacred texts - those who do, not
everyone-, where there already comes predetermined how you should recite from
the first word of the Word to the last, with no free or ambiguous
interpretations. Blessed be the Word, who thus can be read in the book of books to
teach men the straight line! They read wrongly and they followed the exact
chronological order of their diabolical Trinity: Compassion, Charity, and Sin.
They pitied beggars because they weren't able to see beyond their dirty
clothes, their hunger and scarcity; and did not observe that they had succeeded
in getting from the universe part of its beauty. They aimed at them with the
loaded gun of charity to transform them, or to not transform them: they were
not sick and they visited them; they had no thirst and they gave them to drink;
they lived blissfully naked and they were dressed; but they never understood
them. And, in a mean way, they tried to explain their poverty with the clumsy
excuse of their need for atonement of their sins. They told them that God loved
them but that He was making them go with pain through this world, because it is
a valley of tears and life is made to cross it without sticking to the ground.
They lied to them telling them that only next to Him they could be happy; and their
blindness prevented them to see that they already were. They spoke of
redemption, a beautiful word! But they forgot that redemption had been
discovered long before the great religions sought to reveal the near gods. And
the seven beggars knew well the motifs by Verôme: each, in their turn, had had
a loving dialogue with mother universe and had been redeemed.
Those were
the evangelists who were only passing; and even if they also possess dignity,
as every son of God-Fate, it shudders to see that they will never be able to
understand Him. But there were others who stayed awhile and it is more
difficult to find reasons to love them. They were made of a more dangerous
matter, and we could identify them with the name, empty in them for so much using
it, of martyrs. They are distinguished by the rare quality of feeling happy in
misfortune. They thought, perhaps, that thus they would climb faster the tower
which leads to heaven. For this climb, however, they needed ropes and they wanted
beggars to be the ones who provided them, allowing themselves to be evangelized.
They were looking for misery and believed they had found it there where there
was only wealth. Their faces were illuminated when they showed at every step,
at every piece of hard bread or every day of dirt and fog -this damn city of
fog! The cross of martyrdom. They never asked, they never hesitated, they never
learned. They were suffering hardship so they could live the splendor of sacrifice (that light of blinding stupidity), and they became mystical. With so
much indignity beggars only could return the same coin: they spat them
their own compassion. The Christians left those places being pitied. And they
were never called friends; they were called servants, for the servant does not
know what his master does.
But it is
about time the tale returns to the king. See how he moved and how
different his behavior was. After the days of his intoxication, in the midst of
fevers, delirium and other shocks, he could finally meet the rest of the
beggars. He heard their stories with interest, with the mood of one who has all
the time ahead to understand and love; and so their voices accompanied him
forever, friendly voices which stayed inside, whispering to him. He distinguished
them as if he had known them from the cradle and so much did he identify with
them that he acquired a new quality: to name them accurately, as if he could
perceive their true and secret names. And that’s why the Beggar King will also be
called The Beggar of Spirits, because these were not only his makers, but they live
next to him; and that is the reason why he can catch the hidden parts of their
souls with such perfection.
And he would
be introduced first to the woman that the king would call the Lady of Shade.
And in the dialogue they had he was deducing that apparent weakness, these
traces of old age and need hid the solid pillar that held all the beggars; he
knew that she was made of solid iron, that she had traveled almost all her road
with the dignity of having won her first place in the chronological order,
proud of her Liberty, with which she decided to stay on the street. He could
perceive that under her wretched clothing there was a true lady, one
who would one day face the end of her road with courage, struggling up to her
last breath for the beauty of life; and she was both tender and awfully wise,
and therefore it was necessary for her to cover her clairvoyance with a veil of
darkness. And spirits like to dwell at times in the dark; and The Beggar of Spirits
understood well this Lady of Shade and was moved. So much that he held her
in his arms and kissed her. And the sublimity of that hug grew in both hearts
up to the dimensions of the universe.
And he showed
his royalty again when he met the second beggar, for whom he also had a
beautiful name: The Servant of the Wind. Because the spirits that inhabit The
Beggar of the Spirits kept the same direction as the winds of this new woman;
and spirits and winds danced together and entangled. It was his first encounter
with the beauty of despair, with the positive sense of the second gift. He saw
that the frame of this lady was largely a fragile glass, but he learned that glass
does not break easily with the wind and that it reaches its peak if it is
selected for mounting on splendid stained-glass windows. Therefore the king
contacted Horror as through the calm light of greens, reds and blues of the
stained glass windows, through which you can see horizons of prodigy and
sensuality. He sensed that this lady was seduced, and occasionally outraged by the
four winds, which she served since once she was defeated by the four horrors.
And we all know that winds are demons that bring the eight negative signs: when
it is windy there is Shade, and the road is not always perceived with clarity; they
generate Hunger, because there are destructive gales that devastate crops and
cause Scarcity; they get Cold into your body; they stir dust and mud and
bring Dirt; they can lift your clothes or undress you and make you stumble and
fall, and they place you in situations of Shame; when they are fierce, you
cannot move forward, you get to nowhere and they cause Exclusion; and with so
much disappointment a walker feels the Temptation to abandon his road. -They
are not in chronological order, Nike, but the demons do not respect it-. Demons,
yes, but that woman is more than winds. She was saved by another terrible force
of nature: motherhood. With the tears that she had poured because of the
Empress (or Venus Verticordia, for she transformed hearts); with the dagger
of Hunger through her hours, she was brave, however, to become Venus Genetrix;
and with that power at times she became the Mistress of the Wind and defeated
it. Oh, glass of a stained glass window, Spica of Virgo, Fomalhaut, priestess
of Horror, Venus Erycina, compass rose! And she still had to be the grandmother
of the little king. The newcomer was in search for some intimate corner of his landscape
for her; and both of them surrounded each other in a new embrace of commotion.
And it was
smoke that anyone could breathe in the tent where he was recovering, and its
usual inhabitant was the next to go and see him. We know that the spirits are
smoke and The Beggar of Spirits breathed in the smell of smoke the essence of
another soul. And he would find the key to his secret name: The Selective Sharer.
The King understood that he was in the presence of a worthy gentleman, virile
and tender, who used to protect his heart with the mask of shyness; because he
had shared his heart many times and many times they had hurt him, and since then he
was careful in the selection of new recipients. But he was wise, and Dignity
was his sign, and he was certain that it was better to bet your card and being wrong
sometimes if you want your blood to circulate in good condition. It is the wisdom
of choosing which stone you can trip over again; and understanding that there
is ugliness in not loving some of your own mistakes, the most beautiful ones;
and greatness even in pain, sometimes he kept on sharing it, risking they
returned it to him in small pieces. Not even now he was frightened and he chose to
gamble his heart before one he thought deserving to get his delivery. And
he was making a deck of cards with pieces of the beauty of his heart. And he started sharing it little by little with the king, as far as he would know him. He gambled
and won, because his confidence was never betrayed. The King Beggar did not
break his beats; he preferred to caress them. Also... on the Selective Sharer the spectrum of a terrible threat was hanging and it is still hot: a prophecy whose
final outcome is unknown. –In essence the fate that awaits us all, Nike. Is it not
the same sharp blade hanging over each neck, even if we ignore when it is going
to fall? But this beggar does not show any fear and if the memory comes to him of
what may happen, he shrugs his shoulders, looks toward the ground and spits it;
thus he takes it off his mind and he goes on with determination. His sputum
does not disdain fate; it is just his manly way to await it. The beggar and the
king became one in that first hug. In the second hug, which would come later,
they spilled.
-Let me take a breath, Nike. I need to breathe. I hope I
am not tiring you with my story.
-No, I'm not tired. I cannot be seeing how you have
sought the way that the new characters - the real protagonists - are referred in all their
beauty. And some sorrows go away thanks to the efforts you have made in
creating them and the heat that you have put in each syllable that you dedicate
them, or each syllable that you use for the beggar of the golden cradle. Let me
call him thus, Luke! So much heat that to be cold now would be ingratitude. But
anyway, if it returned, let it stay; I will shrug my shoulders, will look
towards the ground and spit it. As you can see, I'm still learning from you,
always learning from you, My Mate! Do not worry. I will not scorn my fate. Even
if the winds become ice, I would go on with determination.
-I don't know who learns from whom, My Beggar. You're still surprising me, over and over again. Well, Nike! That has always been your
manly way of looking at life. You don't know Shame, My Mate, and there is no
reason for you to feel it soon, or for cold. Soon I will need your help in the
tale, but I see with pleasure that you had already come into it. And how am I
going to object if your first word was love, the love you have addressed to three of the
characters in this tale, not true and, however, so similar to three beggars who
have bitten both our hearts? Finally, in the midst of so many bites, let me, if
I can, cradle you with my poor lines. And promise me that you will keep that
virile attitude!
-I promise you. I will be loyal to you, Luke. I will
respond to your effort with mine. I don't know whether I will have pain, or
cold, because I do not know what is to come; but I fear not, no longer! You
won’t see me as a coward. Nor will I feel shame. I've not talked about your king
and I won't until you ask me my opinion about him or his behavior. But I'm
still drinking from your words and your narrative style... So I will tell you that it
does not protest he who agrees. If at some point you have seen me shaking... I
was feeling no shame; it has been a very different shock: call it surprise.
-Nike... the story will continue with two new
characters that were very dear to the protagonist, and the story of the Royal
Road will eclipse some time to tell their stories in detail. You're right: it
is best to advance your literary advice and freely opine on everything
from the King Beggar that has been said so far.
-I will try to be concise, Luke, because yours is the
fable. I don't want to be long in a literary criticism, as you call it, which is
not necessary. I don't know whether the beggar of the golden cradle was as beautiful
as you describe him, but it is your way of looking at him and it is a beautiful
way of looking at him, and before that, I cannot protest. Mostly because I
think that you've captured his heart, and you like him and...
- And I shall never stop liking him. You were going to
say that, were you not?
-I don't know what I was going to say... Well, I will
make a new effort to express myself. I think that you have reflected the most
important thing: how much he values the beloved voices that inhabit him (those
of his mates). And you have shown both his dignity and his indignity – you
are making me like your king and I like both -. All that is fine with me, but
maybe you cover him with more beauty than he has. Let me follow, Luke! I've
learned enough from you as to accept, and not reluctantly, that it is true that
he has some beauty, but not more than the others. There is nothing in his path
that the feet of the other beggars have not traveled before. All the characters
that you have been drawing should be kings.
-Kings of the Earth... They all are in my thoughts.
But I don't want to change their names, although all of them are, because those
beautiful nicknames, or some of them at least, the King Beggar invented.
And there are many reasons to call them thus. But about him, Nike, or about his
steps, would you like to say anything else? Taking for granted that he is a creature
of my imagination.
-Yes, Luke, because so you prefer. I would say that
everything you have described about his road is true: his teachings of vain
ambition, his days of poisoning concoctions, his bites, and... I think he would
be better understood if he is a king whose heart has been created by the
universe to warm up in the home of another king’s heart. So... other parts of
your history acquire coherence, because then it follows that he put his love in
the light transmitted by The Luminous Beggar, then a prince in his Star. Yes,
first needle that pointed north in the dark sidewalk of the king. Surely that
is the reason why cowardly to receive that clarity, he offended him.
-Thus speak
men, Nike! They are the words of a real man, or if you will allow me, they are
the words of a king. I accept the criticism, not severe, which you have done,
except for one thing: it is not exaggerated to give him that name. God! I'm
going to cry and I do not wish to do so at this moment, when there is so much
to tell and still the beggar who he loved most has to come into the story. To
prevent this, I beg you to let me continue calling you My Mate, making sure that
nothing is going to prevent that you call me so; we still have many days
together in the streets, My Beggar.
-Thanks, My Mate! And I have nothing else to add at
this time. Continue whenever you want, Luke.
One by one
the man who was recovering got to know the seven beggars. But there are still
two to pass. And one of them was very important to him, and much loved. He is
not distinguished by any quality of the others, there's nothing that makes him
stand out, but he had relevance in the story of the king. Just for this reason
the story is going to be longer with him, because every human being, in its
individual insignificance, becomes transcendent in relation to the life of
someone else. And this is beautiful, because if it is a fantasy the false
modesty of believing oneself to be designated by the universe, it also is the
false pride or despair, thinking that we walk our time as in a vast uninhabited
wilderness. At some point in each route at a junction where two travelers meet,
someone will give us value; and the path becomes much more fruitful the
many more crosses you have walked, having left a mark of our beauty. Thus, the
importance or irrelevance of this new character is like that of any other
traveller. But if the hero had a story teller, he would like to hear all about
this beggar. Therefore he will be told things he is unaware of, and will be told
again what he knows, trying to fill it all with beautiful words, because the king
so would like it. Let there be room then for a small tale within the tale and
let the tale start again:
"Once
upon a time there was a beggar who was born in a wooden cradle, because the
spirits of the universe, always indecipherable but always fair and wise, wanted
to confuse his birth and wrote that he should travel his road as a tree. Because a tree roots feed from the water of the Earth.
And those who created him anticipated that he would only be a real man when he
recognized himself as a beggar and he fell in love with the earth. That’s why
the arcana of the mother created him the very image of a tree; and in a solid,
warm and fertile ground they planted him. And that's how this beggar also began
without knowing who he was, in his wooden cradle. And the mud of
his childhood was good; and he was the offspring of two trees of rooted foundations. He should
have grown strong and beautiful, upright and pointing to the sky. It is true
that he looked like a beautiful promise of strength and that it was springing
up in its trunk, lazily, sketches of future branches. But the growth of the
more solid of the trees can be spoilt if from the beginning it is not
strengthened against the swaying of the treacherous winds - again the winds,
Nike! It is inevitable to mention them once and again-. His progression was cut
short and it was slowly drying up: his sap got rotten because his faith got rotten
and this Tree-Beggar needed a faith. He had looked for it in God-Fate; he had
tried in the army. All in vain. Or perhaps not, because staying in the army, in
the most unexpected way, one day would be good to him to be saved. They were
times of disorientation for this poor devil, who not knowing he was a beggar,
desperately longed for a certainty that came to rescue him: he was unaware that
it existed and that it was awaiting him with loving patience. But in his
darkness... Shade, he did not know how to discern, and in a hard moment in his life
- very hard, Nike!-, believing that it was faith, he found idolatry. Thus he ended
up with the bald people, bending his arm about thirty degrees - sexagesimal
system-, but from the vertical and with the palm facing the ground: starting
error for a beggar. During a time he was with a bald head. The top had then
no branches, buds or leaves; it looked like the renunciation of a sky to point
to and a horizon to watch, just vacant land on the top of his skull. His growth
had slowed down and he had lost almost all of the wood from which he was made from
the cradle; and in these conditions it is impossible to find out if something similar to a heart continues to beat between its hollows. The time he was with the
bald people only taught him to become withered, without any beauty. And
hate was his only creed. He learned to hate any wood that was not of the same
kind that the one he was dressed of: that of the trees of different species and
color, rich in hues; that of those equal in gender which have no shame in
touching and approaching their crowns and interlacing their knotty fingers to
give one another shelter and protect themselves together against the blizzard; or
those others who decide to move away from the shady and fragrant forest refuge,
and get planted in valleys less inhabited and safe, but more beautiful, because
there they win Liberty with the outstretched hand of their branches waving in
the wind."
"But his
worst indignity still awaited him among the shadows. It was written that this
would be the only one of the eight who would offend the beggars, before he
himself was also one of them. And his offense could have gone much further;
because these bald trees, so rootless and dry, can be certainly dangerous and
you have to move away to avoid them. That’s why the narrator has always wondered
why the universe did not shrink for him. Perhaps because the offense came
almost from the hand of Recognition of Acceptance; perhaps because he had the
fortune of encountering the Beggar Master, who also knew of weapons and armies,
and that made it possible that two beings so dissimilar could understand each other. And this Sorcerer
would make a spell so that the sound of the score of the seventh motif by
Verôme began. The laws of the universe are enigmatic and not even the Lady of Shade
can decrypt why never happened what never happened. Either way, the universe did
not shrink. But his future mates did give him a slap in the face, at the
time he needed it most. He needed a “Lazarus, come forth” and they shouted it.
- And he also had his catoblepas, Nike, or his many catoblepas, because they
were six-. In their eyes he could see the eye for an eye of beggars. To a braggart
bald man, violent and reckless, who had insulted them and had more evil
intentions, they answered with clarity, warmth and beauty. Because they were
able to see that the old tree preserved some remains of good wood, and that it
could start a second growth, and this time decidedly upwards. They were able to
get his hair grow on his head again; and with it all its arboreal machinery
stood again in motion. The Tree-Beggar got rid of the rotten wood and stood
nearly naked, in front of everyone... and at that moment he began to get dirty of
earth. And yet he did not know who he was, but at least he knew who he was not.
His nakedness, his disorientation, his anguish, his desperation, everything was
exposed in the eyes that were looking at him. A tender scene - and why not say
it, Nike?, also somewhat erotic - of that poor devil, which was recorded in
five stunned looks and would later be remembered and would be confused and misled.
For a long time it was difficult for them to tell the difference between a man
who behaves like a child and a real man. -A tender scene, Nike, which the Tree-Beggar
well lived despite the subsequent bitterness. He only regrets that the King
Beggar has lost that fundamental day of his mate; he knows that he would have been
moved before his tender, and tormented, motif by Verôme. From that moment the
tree always hated the bald people and did not take long to recognize himself as
a beggar. He had been transplanted to a good ground - very good, Nike!-, and
saw that it was fertile and his arborescent soul knew that he wanted to take
root in that soil. He knew it... even before meeting The Daughter of the Earth.
She would be the final push that would make him revere Father Earth and all
that came of it. But he would have stayed even if he had not come to know her: because
of the beggars who lived there and because of the magic of their environment,
their universe, their codes, their chronological order. -None of the eight,
Nike, none, took their decision only for love, even if it was important. In any
case, love to all the aforementioned and the street, either because it is the
mother or because it is the whore. Yes, this man wanted only to be stained by it,
and already a dirty beggar, learned enough in a white and breathtaking twilight.
He saw the dignity of the lives that he could have crushed; the beauty which
dwelt, hidden until then for him, in the twin branches of The Luminous Beggar
and the Beggar Sorcerer; (his beloved master!) he bathed in the Greatness of the
latter and that of those who surrounded him; and to join The Daughter of the
Earth, he also had the moving acquiescence of a beggar who, that night too,
was The Mistress of the Wind. -Yes, Nike, he learned again the most beautiful
laws of existence, which he had forgotten. And he remembered them on the street
when he began to raise his forearm about thirty degrees, from a horizontal position
and with the palm facing the sky: in its correct position. And, as later
the King Beggar would do, he was assimilating without asking, being overwhelmed,
allowing emotions leak through his skin as light breaks through the crystals of
a stained glass window. And all that learning, which has never been
interrupted, was in progression with the inseparable company of his beloved Daughter
of the Earth.
-Give me a minute to feel you, My Mate. I want to
breathe a while the beauty of the universe to begin to tell another story of
beauty: her story, that of The Daughter of the Earth.
-I can't wait to hear it. It must be the most
beautiful story you've told so far. And what a beautiful name you searched for
her, Luke: The Daughter of the Earth.
-Only me have named her thus so far, Nike...
-Forgive me then, I...
-Not at all. You have not let me go on. I also want you to
call her by that name. And she also wants it. It will be something just for us
three. And don't shudder! If you are not exhausted when I finish my story, we will
have many things to talk about, My Beggar. But do not fear anything. Any word I
have with you or coming from you must necessarily be a word of beauty. Allow me
the whim of the strange chronological order that I'm following, and when I
finish, you will understand the lines that the universe is writing with blazing
fire, so we know how to read them, in terms of the lives of three of the
beggars. That is why it is inevitable to now start for the third time the tale.
Forgive my incoherent way of telling it with so many jumps. And forgive the
exhaustion that I am giving you, Nike.
-Luke, I'm not exhausted; I would be hours or nights
listening to you. And the way that you have chosen is consistent for me and beautiful...
you would not know how to do it otherwise. And I also wish that the beauty of
your words reflects her beauty better. Mainly take your time with her. I want to
hear of your beautiful Daughter of the Earth. Thanks for letting me call her thus. And you know... how much I love her. But, even if it is true that I am not
tired, I am concerned that it is getting late. You should go back with her. You
can tell me the rest later. Don't get away of her for the urgency I guess in
your gestures. Have no fear for me: I ain’t gonna do anything desperate.
-Your voice quavered when you were saying how much you
love her. And you still have to love her more, much more, My Beggar. I love you
more for loving her. But, Nike... Lucy is not waiting for me tonight. She knows
what I'm doing and approves of it. But I don't want to see you uneasy and again
you are. I can only say you must keep trusting, her and me. Both of us love
you, My Mate. And we know that is important for you.
-It is important, very important! Forgive me. You must
have already seen that it is long since I'm living my days shivering, or as you
would say, one shock after another. That’s why I cannot help that my words and
my voice are still coming like that: choked with emotion. But if you and the most
beautiful woman on Earth - with your permission, Luke - agree, I
have nothing to oppose. I want to stay. And I cannot deny that you're
transmitting me heat. If something has to happen next... This is the best time
to say thank you, Luke; thank you, both of you. Say thanks for me also to The Daughter
of the Earth. I also love you, my mates.
-Maybe I have to bite myself to be able to continue
without tears. But I have to follow. For so that your beauty is complete perhaps it
is only necessary that you forget the fear that the people you love most can
hurt you. But it doesn't matter if I go on with tears. You won't mind. I will continue
anyway, My Mate. Let's go! There is still room for another short tale within
the tale and for the third time the story will start again.
"Once
upon a time there was a beggar who was born in an earthen cradle, because there
is no wiser cradle; and being born on the earth is a gift that the spirits of
the universe give only to a few fortunate people, aware that the gift has got
the double nature, beautiful and poisoned, of the Sphinx. And those who are gifted
must know how to decrypt an Oracle, to get scared and stay to live in the Horror
that there is before Wisdom; or recognize themselves, solve the riddle and jump
from Horror to reach the Wisdom of the Earth. The universe gives this type of
apparent shenanigans only to those who She loves most, because more She loves
them. And the narrator shudders at the thought of how much She had to love her,
to make it available for her, from her earliest time, the chance to win the
most beautiful of the eight gifts. I am moved by how they were able to foresee
that she would be, of the eight beggars, the one who would soonest recognize herself.
That’s why her mother had to give her birth that way, dropping her in a wild path
of mud and weeds. And that's how this beggaar was born, a dawn of fire, in her earthen
cradle."
» She had to
be beautiful, because she was the daughter of The Servant of the Wind, of whom
she inherited all her beautiful rosary appellations. And much more. Her mother
bequeathed her the wind and put her on the earth, and she was fire and water by
name. Oh, Daughter of the Earth, rivers of clarity, light of the rivers, the
bearer of light, salt of the Earth, splendour of a stained-glass window, glow
in the water, direction of the wind rose, descendant from Venus, triumphant in Verôme,
victorious in wood, captain of the four elements, source of beauty, Algieba,
shaking of the ground, Wisdom, a lighthouse for the King Beggar, owner of the Tree
Beggar, the mother of the little king! Many have been the given names, but her
name continues to grow with the Earth. Do not forget that she is the daughter
of father Earth. She had then a well-known father, who has always been there to
hold her tenderly in His arms and remove the habitual cold, while whispering to
her some stories that spoke of the secrets from the depths so that she could learn
the ins and outs of the arcane that inhabit the center of the Earth. And He
will always be there, because her father is immortal. Yes, she had to be
beautiful... beautiful and wise, because thus was her cradle. Only she could
have a cradle without bars and huge dimensions so she had fun with a whole world
to play. Only she could have a planet as a home. And it was a palatial house! Because
it had no walls or ceiling and her will was enough to move along hallways,
stairs or rooms, following the rhythm of her games. A house without doors, but
filled with beautiful windows. And only she could move her address and always
live in the same house. And in the most fragrant corner of the courtyard there
was a playful river, which stroked her feet and... trees! Many trees so they could give
her shelter and wrap her up. Around her the universe put them so she grew up
loving their smell, because they foresaw that one day she would give her heart
to a nearly dry tree, one who had lost almost everything, but its smell of wood.
Yes, she had to be beautiful! And twice wise. Since her Wisdom proceeds from the
earth and from having been born a woman. If you learn to observe with the
sleepless eye of a beggar, it is not difficult to conclude that she, in her
palatial home, had also met the welfare and comfort of a golden cradle.
» And it was
thus that her story started on a rocky ground, a quagmire whereby she began to
explore the well delimited path that had been assigned for her; seeing in both shores
the roughness of a world seemingly bleak, dusty and thorny. But neither the
wrinkled edges, dirty and miserable; nor the devastated environment, petty and
soulless; nor the tortuous threshold, which came from the very unhealthy
decrepitude of the nebulous city where she was born; none of this made her firm
feet hesitate and the Daughter of the Earth was in the center of the narrow
sidewalk and started walking. Walking in her childhood, with the resolution of he
who is clear that a road is a trip and a journey is discovery, she learned how,
shortly after starting to walk, everything is changing: the color of the earth
is not the same, only a few meters ahead; light gives it different tones as it
is turning from cold to intense yellow in the dawn - indigos in the west; which later are shades of purple and mauve in the east of sunset, when day turns
around, dyed of new yellow, now bloody, in the west of the sun. If you advance some more
steps on the roads of adolescence, without abandoning the sidewalk, you
instantly begin to glimpse the shy ghost of a twisting thicket, then several,
which slowly strip the landscape of dryness. Later, the first trees slowly become
thick vegetation and the lips of the traveler are savoring in advance the
sweetness of the promised water, good water that awaits her in the near river,
the reward that gives a meaning to the entire road. And her path, like any other path,
sometimes changes direction and sometimes starts a new trip. But the Daughter
of the Earth knows well that knowing thirst helps to look for the spring, and
enjoy best the soul of the newly found water. And her life is a hymn to the
teaching of the contrasts, a praise to the Wisdom of opposites: a palatial house
and a rocky ground, a disdainful father and a real father. Some nights, very
few, sleeping in the pleasant refuge of a house with good walls and comfortable
and clean bed linen; others, in the dubious security offered by the eyes of the
river bridges, the desolate parks, the cash machines halls, a tent anchored in
the grove. Sometimes fullness and sometimes hunger - hungrier than the sum of
your hunger and mine, My Beggar!-. Not loved by the places from where power
comes, the temptation of wealth reached her, however, on numerous occasions,
until in Verôme she chased it away with a solemn get thee behind me; and she would
exorcise it again on a bare hill, when turning a corner she was face to face
with a tree of an unknown species, which seems to have arisen from the very
surrounding fog; a tree... which, however, was crying; a trembling and dirty
man who was frightened: she was so beautiful and he could have split her head!
But the absence of fear in her was good for him to expel the demons of fear
that possessed him, because he knew then that the edge of violence may be the
end of violence, and there are things that cannot happen again. With that
light, a tree-man was beginning to believe in a faith; and he no longer hesitated
whether to stay to live there, because he believed that faith to be wise and
true.
» The faith
of beggars shone strongly in that magical sunset when The Daughter of the Earth
and The Tree-Beggar met. But a blanket of fog prevented to see what
constellations were shining after dusk, that eighteenth of November. By someone
who knows it best, the narrator begins to learn that Orion was shining, the magnificent
Hunter, with his belt, his mallet and his sidereal shield, in a tireless battle
with Taurus; and Aldebaran in the eye of the bull, in a bend of the path that
leads to the seven daughters of Atlas; Perhaps Gemini accompanied him, with
Pollux, son of Zeus, keeping his willingness to enter into Hades to rescue Castor,
his twin, and return him to life; surely Leo was not completely visible yet,
but it was already more than a celestial purpose: Regulus was beginning to be
created in the great womb of the universe; and no need to look in the sky
searching for Spica or Antares: they were that night on the hill. They were the
first two lights that were transformed into sparks and lit the forge where the
faith of beggars was shaping, with which the protagonists of the two recent
stories began a new story, already walking in parallel. Together they resolved they should retain their respective smells of earth and wood, to not forget where they
came from, to be distinguished even in the darkness, so the word beggar could
be read in the distance - and there are many other reasons, Nike, that the king
has not discovered yet-; together they started a new faith, free and without any
dogmas, you could say it was an agnostic faith: the simple awe of the female
and the male and their son to come, of the beloved homeland where they could rest after a
long day on the street, of the customarily scarce piece of bread, of the small
or large philosophy of the five wise people surrounding them. You need little
more for a faith to be true and deserve love - not all faiths deserve it-, but
this faith is really good water; together they decided to be one and they united,
without belonging to each other: they were always one, and they were always
two; and the lurking of the disturbing idea of eternal love was not necessary
to be sure of what is essential: they didn't know how long they would remain together
in the same story, because both wanted to extend from the blood of the other to
create a new blood; there was no wait even to a rotation of the Earth: two flows
of blood that shared the same river overflowed; and at some point in their
course a waterfall emerged from which it escaped thin sheets of glass, which
months later would be the best work, the most beautiful stained-glass window of
a couple that someone would call sacred – do not say anything, Nike. If a king
is betrayed, only the maturity of time can clarify whether it was necessary,
and there are traitors who can move you-. In a single night of fires and faith,
two hitherto separate beggars joined their flames and drew the first lines of a
humble constellation, which yet has to expand. Because you cannot prevent that a
nebula continues to give birth to stars and there could be a second explosion,
or a third sacred couple.
-Keep silent, My
Beggar, just a few hours more. I know that it would be fair to let you talk
now, but you are trembling; and both your head and your heart would like to
usurp your voice to express themselves, and you wouldn't know what to say. And
if I let you answer at this time, I'll never make that cold that covers you be lost forever. We will talk about everything, My Mate, but trust me and
remember your promise. Now more than ever the chronological
order is necessary.
-I will keep silent, Luke. Go on the way you want.
"You
cannot prevent that a nebula continues to give birth to stars. And Mother
Universe prepared the two beggars to await the arrival of the brightest star of
the constellation. They were months of an eager wait; and before the little king
arrived, love breathed every day in the thirst of the lips, in the sweat of love
effort, in the rhythmic beat of the open hearts, in the faith that lives
without a promise. They became sacred the first night they shared hunger, the
first days of cold without a fire, when, in order to get warm, they made use of words
released in the tremor of understood indignities, of laughter or crying, of desire...
It took months to learn how to evolve together without belonging to each other,
to understand how love roots both in the luxurious source of newly explored
senses as in the heart which is given nude and no matter whether it can be vulnerable. With
no oath of eternal fidelity, but with loyalty as a link of beauty, the love of
these two beggars has become eternal, and the sacred couple will never break. And
the story teller knows that the king does not want it to break, and that embellishes
him more before the look of The Daughter of the Earth and the Tree-Beggar, whom
he met in the days of the advent of Regulus, in a tent that smelled of smoke
and amid endless bites."
This is how
the story returns to the king, among bites. Because even when we can see that although he had
been attacked by several fangs, of tenderness and other basilisks, none of them
could defeat him. But he still had to get his deepest wound, because he was
surrounded by vampires, beggars in the evening, and even the trees in his
outskirt could sink their teeth into and go through the flesh. But beware, you
vampire! Alert! because the blood of the heart you're biting can overflow in
yours... and tear it. And so it happened that when the Tree-Beggar and the king
finally met, so much hunger they felt for each other that they could not help the
mutual bite. They were two bites with which they exchanged their bloods and
made the first pact of alliance between mates, initiated both of them of the
same Lodge. So great was the force of those two bites that the story wants this
meeting to be referred with the looks of the two gentlemen, one by one. Let us
tell first how the king’s eyes saw it:
From some
startle he woke up when an unknown begga entered the door of his tent, preceded
by a wake, if not disturbing, at least perceptible, of old mixed scents of
sweat, earth and wood. And, however, the king found him young and beautiful,
but he understood that it would not be easy to decipher the tracks that had led
this man to be what he was. He felt comfortable in his presence, however, and
chose to postpone his judgment in order to disentangle the soul of him who
came. And whether it was that his smile suggested peace and rest; or that
something in him spoke of himself as a mirror with a dirty glass, but with
clear reflection, his desire to know more about him increased. And thus, the
seventh beggar became a storyteller for the king. It was his first attempt to
tell a story, his first chance to fabulate true facts, with which he was trying
Beauty. Because if that was the gift they had given him, it was probably nothing
but an entelechy that would hold the religion of the chronological order; and
until then he had only done honor to the Dirt they place opposite. But the king
did see beauty in his story; or it may be that his way of listening, or his
interest, made it come true. He was moved at each stage of the former bald man
who finally chose the street; his amazement was transparent when he saw,
projected in him, the same indignities, uncertainties and insecurities, his worst
moment of Shade. Those reflections, of the light of the Aquarius glass of the eyes
of the beggar, returned his own image to him – a Narcissus looking at himself in
the water, which is muddy, and despises the horror that the mirror brings him
and does not love himself - and he found himself dirty, and very tired, and
terribly deprived and needy. Thus, between reflections of dismissive Narcissus,
two weary men who at one time had been dirty met, two twins met. Sure that he
was seeing his own reflection, he did not doubt that the link between them was
identical and was carried away by the story, and started to enter it. -I mean,
Nike, he entered what the beggar was telling, and suffered and enjoyed with his
experiences; and also mean that, since no ending had yet been written, the king got into
that heart (I mean story), forever, and the tale continued with him. And in that
tent, which was the first cavern of revelations, his wise spirit, led by the
music of the narration, began to guess, at first in a whisper, then a loud
murmur, and finally a racket, that life is more than disgust or weariness; that
resurrection is not only an unlikely chance; that redemption does not require
more passwords than doubt that you have a heart to let you in, and gives some
ears to whoever wants them to be attentive to the prodigious pulsation of
heartbeat. There's a heart because the pain is the first symptom that something
inside is calling, with strength; -There is a heart because there is some need,
My Beggar. Need and love are almost the same word and the king began to love
his story teller because he needed him-. It could not be otherwise. The narrator
does no longer have any doubt that the protagonist fell in love with the
beggar. And his royalty is seen in the many and various ways in which that love
was multiplied.
-Do not feel any fear, My Mate, or any cold. You still
do not know when and how the king was betrayed. And if you could see my heart
now, you would see it burning, but it is not enough. It has to burst. It must
be an erupting volcano, My Beggar, because craters it does already have. Long
ago it is since many bites have opened it to let it escape the fire in the
center of the Earth. And if I can’t get you some heat at this time to take away
your first terror, I would have to throw myself into the icy ocean wherever you
are and die of cold with you. Take my fire, and never mind if you cry. Now less
than ever I will ask you not to cry. You cannot help it and there are tears
which wash the soul so that it can put on clean clothes of Beauty. But do not cry
with fear, My Beggar: no wind or devil will take you away from my heart. Or
rather I would tear my hands.
-I cannot find my voice, Luke, but suffice it to say
that your fire is coming to me, in large flames. And listen! Now only silence can be heard. Increasingly less wind is blowing now and I start to feel that I am
not going to die of cold, My Mate.
-I won't let you die of cold, Nike. I am not going to
allow the king to die of cold – the story teller would add-, because we have
not reached that moment yet, but there will come a night when also the hero of this
story almost dies of cold. It seems that the tales are mixing, My Mate, but
that is the magic of telling a story. This supposed fiction is mine, but your
intervention can alter it. Will you help me to wrap the king up, Nike? Perhaps
only an answer is necessary, with the heat of your blood in your voice.
-And how often have they taught the king that feelings
cannot be hidden? I think that’s how your narrator talked. Ok, Luke, let it be!
What is the question?
-Indeed you still cannot perceive the consequences
that there would be for both gentlemen because of their countless bites or how
their eternal friendship evolved- and I say eternal, Nike!-, but you already
know enough the two characters and you can tell me whether it is true what could get
through the king's heart. I am confident enough in your demonstrated
integrity to trust the future of the rest of my story to your answer. Well...
This is the question: do you think he put his heart, and even his blood, in that
of that poor devil who barely knew who he was but was already beginning to like
him?: in that poor Dirty Beggar? Sorry that my voice trembled.
-He fell in love with him, Luke. For better or for worse.
It could not be otherwise. And... You follow, please...! My heartbeats go very
quickly.
-Let me recover my breath, My Mate... Mine are also
accelerated, but I will try to speak. Well, life, just like the street -
sometimes the whore- occasionally becomes splendid, and to contemplate the
courage of a beggar and mate showing his dignity and I am sure that looking me
in the eyes... God! My ideas are trembling. I don't know what I was going to say.
I am a lucky man, Nike. You are my mate and come to the street with me. You've
rocked me in the street, and you've rocked me on this cold night, dying of
cold. And you will move me a thousand times, since we will continue walking
together, My Beggar, until the end of the road, as long as you want to walk
with me. Say what you want, My Mate, or rather... not yet. You will find words more
easily if the rest of the story cradles you, and it will be difficult for you to
clearly define emotions that you have never before been able to express, or
others that you've never before experienced. And I... I love you, My Beggar! If
I am making you cry, understand that this is to overwhelm... so as not to break,
and...
- And my heart is overwhelmed, but not broken. Not any
more, My Beggar, now it won’t break! God! If you consider yourself lucky, I
don't know what to say about myself. I can only add that I'd like to read the tale
of the king, but someone should write that of his story teller. Because it is
true he has become worthy of Beauty and the eight gifts are in him and in him
they remain... and, forgive me, Luke, because it is inevitable that your king
now loves him even more. But, I'm sorry, you have not asked me that question;
I'm not keeping my promise.
-Promises can be kept changing the words and
respecting the spirit, Nike, and I am not going to censor your words, let alone at
this moment that you need so much to say them. And nothing will happen because
you say them, except that you may find that you will be given more love for them.
But let me continue, My Mate. There is still a long story ahead and after it we
will have all the time we want to talk, because there is no longer any reason to
hurry, or to remain silent.
-You're right, Luke, you can continue.
The love of
the king was multiplied in many and various ways. Because his vital organ was
beating, and filled with blood, and was placed in its right place, and its pace
adjusted by hearing the story of the Dirty Beggar. And when a heart is believed
dead, it is joy of the soul to listen how it is throbbing; and rejoice knowing
it is made of flesh, even if it hurts while beating. And that is why it showed
new and multiple facets; and a stream flooded him with love, and became need
and like, and showed itself in floods in the brotherhood, and was a gigantic
waterfall in friendship. A king from an arrogant lineage - so it was told to The
Tree-Beggar - was falling in love with one of the most humble inhabitants of
this nebulous city. It is better to say so: that he was falling in love...
Because to believe he had fallen in love was not something that could be done suddenly,
having fought all his life against the direction of his feelings; and it was
not a decision, but a slow learning. But in the meantime, while he looked at
the beggar and listened to him, he was being permeated by the landscapes of his
mind. He postponed thinking, but certain flashes of the sometimes gentle beauty
of living were touching him. He was aware that he was beginning to feel something
not habitual, but he refused to defend himself, because at last he understood
that the heat that was taking control of his limbs was well, that love has many
modes, that the love that invaded him only could be beauty. A king from an
arrogant lineage - so it was told to The Tree-Beggar - showed the double
greatness of falling in love with a beggar and moving away from that which had
been the fiercest battle of his life: violence against his own feelings, the
denial of his heart. But great was his need, and although heartbeats hurt, he
could not say no to his heart when he was finding it. He allowed himself to be
defeated, learning that sometimes the most heroic victory comes when you are
able to give in to defeat. A king from an arrogant lineage - or so, anyway, it
was told to The Tree-Beggar-, who still was to show a more difficult to define
dignity. It has already been seen how he had recognized himself as equal to
anyone who in the outskirt he was getting to know, but he ended up surpassing
his own greatness, because he even considered that they were better than him.
The story that The Dirty Beggar told him impressed him. It showed him how a
broken man can live again and he had another luminous moment when he was aware
that he wanted to be better, and that he was going to have to deal in a new
internal struggle. If he could not, in that first meeting, admit yet his love
for the beggar, he could desire to be at his level; and he made a decision
never revoked, not even in the darkest hours of the exile. He had to give a
second life to the king beggar who had emerged from the basilisk and the
catoblepas and had to give up forever the poisonous concoctions of the court.
The new beggar was breaking into the heart of the king with the strength of a
vampire, and his insatiable fangs, biting on the hot ulcer of new love, threw a
wisp of an antidote to his blood with which he started expelling all poisons.
But it was the man who bit who was most unsuccessful, since he would never heal
of the wound caused by the attitude of the man who was bitten: rather than
downcast, he was heroic; fighting in two distressing combats, but determined to
come out victorious of the battle he had with his life. With the mark still on
his skin from the vampire teeth, he won the stinging elixirs combat; and he would
soon beat himself in the second, letting into his heart the blood that came to
him from the beggar.
And he loved
him, but he liked him. Love and like do not necessarily mean the same thing. In
love you put the tremor and the passion, the obsession to own, the vertigo that
join loving and being loved, the pulsating vibrations of biting in desire, the aroma
of the flavor, the promise of light when being looked at, the deep shiver of your
skin when touched, the overwhelming yearning for unity of matter and energy; you put
your body, you give your soul. Like, on the other hand, is different. It is not
so intense; however, it rewards you and comforts you. It is love without the
hands and the saliva. It is the full acceptance of the other and the whim to accompany
him, the anxiety to explain the one you love and to explain yourself in him. It
may reach you without the union in the flesh and the spirit. Or it is love plus
a shoulder to lean on, able to endure the tension of your soul. The king, days
later, when he knew that he loved the beggar, when he knew himself in that
feeling and did not fret for it, and since he thought that he was not going to be
allowed to love him, had enough with liking him. Because that liking him was
enough, despite the latent suspicion, that would never abandon him, that to
the great achievement of his rediscovered heart he could be responded with the
slap of hatred or contempt. There he began a fear that would lead to his future
exile and would lengthen his motif by Verôme. In the same joy of loving his
pain began, but he did not give up either enjoyment or pain, and if he could
not love him, he was going to continue liking him.
And he liked
him, but he needed him. He was rediscovering the universe in the hands of the
heartbreaking story of the beggar, by the hand of his smile and his tenderness:
gifts all these that are not given to anyone, but just to whom deserve them,
and the king deserved them. He needed him, because he was being caressed,
understood in his indignity - a substance which the story teller also had-,
accepted and loved; because The Dirty Beggar made him see things in another
way; because he gave him, for nothing in return, all he had lived; and made him
know that his learning was not over and he was now willing to learn from him. He
made him see besides that truth and beauty come from rocks of an unchanging
appearance, as the so-called insensitivity he claimed to have inherited. In
fact they needed each other, because they were brothers. They were, since they
had been destined to meet and love each other, but that day they began to feel
it. Because there is nothing in the heart of a brother which does not hurt us, which
may seem alien to us. That’s why the brother beggar vibrated with the nobleness
that was calling from the inside of the rich robes, now somewhat worn, of
his brother king: he heard the voice that was screaming for help out of the
struggles where he had enlisted, or to not stop fighting; he saw his urgency
and was touched: they really were so equal! Brother king noticed the
different needs of his brother beggar: to enjoy conversing with a similar
heart, to be loved as a brother, to be felt as a man, to be respected as a beggar,
to be comprehended in his incessant pursuit of a faith without being mistaken with
a worshipper of false gods, to be forgiven and loved in his dirt, to be understood
as the husband of a woman of earth and countless lights, to accept him as a
male who, in his natural desire to expand, wants to give life to a little queen,
to a little king.
They were
twins, and brothers, however. And by dint of needing, they loved each other.
And love possessed the king, but failed to drown him, because need, the master
of every beggar, taught him to take shelter in the fraternity and other
manifestations of the spirit. You can well see that love is a beggar, asking with
no certainty in hope, but friendship is urgency. Love is the bread that is not
always shared, but friendship is hunger, indispensable for survival. Friendship
of the breath on your side and a stick to the road, friendship: wings for flight!
Friend who drives away loneliness and horrors, a friend: a lantern in the
darkness! An hour had passed since he had met The Dirty Beggar and he touched greatness
again. In a shy question he revealed what urged him: he wanted to know whether they
could be friends. It is not easy to describe Greatness, it has been said.
Because love hurts, but it is not decided: it just arrives. But friendship can be
chosen. Ninety-five out of a hundred kings before beggars would have hesitated,
but the king did not hesitate. Friendship that creeps inside looking for a temple,
friendship: sacred heat! Friend who moves in palatial corners as he wanders
through outskirts, a friend: word of a gentleman! The king had never had a heart
that he could properly call a friend. But when he knew where he was, there was
no differences between the millionaire and the beggar. However difficult it
could be, the friendship born that day had to be fed and it was; so it was until
today. Friendship that always shines and does never set, friendship: a
circumpolar star! A man friend that with a man friend grows, friends: open
arms! Friendship telepathy which made him shout I'm home! As the king exclaimed
when he knew his countrymen: a profession of faith which two beggars before him
had already spoken. Friendship, a root of steel that arises from discouragement,
friendship: the salty light of tears! Days without their darkness and time without
the running of days, friendship: unconditional and unreserved, summary and top
of love, need and like! The new beggar was breaking into the heart of the king
with the strength of a vampire. But they were two bites, it was said. See below
with the eyes of the Tree-Beggar.
When he
entered the tent he saw a man who woke up, with the appearance of being
dejected; only the appearance, because nothing can defeat a resurrected man.
The first thing he noticed was how he was struggling between the anguish of not
liking himself and the challenge of
making it possible to love and live everything that he had not lived yet. His story,
as that of the other seven beggars, has something of delirium, of fever, of nervous
systems in extreme stress, on the verge of rupture, but also a perennial calm,
which, however, surrounds everything. The story is full of contradictions like
this and everything contradicts everything the same way that everything is in
everything. Their stories have been repeating since the fifth motif by Verôme,
but they are all unique. The king's story certainly had the vicissitudes of those
of the three previous beggars, and, however, he knew how to build his own
threads without stridency, but with a loud noise. The beggar who entered did
not see what he expected to see, because he had been informed of some facts of the king's life: those which were known; but he ran into the dark
side of the moon and at the same time into a mirror without a hidden face. The
beggar who entered did not see what he expected to see, because he thought he
was going to find an arrogant messenger of power and he found himself in the
claws of a tender vampire, from whom he could never have imagined he was going
to drink his sobriety in blood vessels, sipping his heart drop by drop, day by
day. And it had been supposed that the former bald man and the former raider
would not understand each other! The beggar who entered did not see what he
expected to see, because he was received by that shock that often appears in
the worst nightmares: seeing yourself in two different places at the same time.
Because he saw himself standing, entering; and he also found himself lying on a
bed without a pillow, looking. It was a second chill which went through his
spine, until he had the brilliance to understand that he was before his twin. It
was like being in a mirror that went back in time and showed him what he might
have seen if he had been looking at himself nine months ago: identical pain,
identical need, the same poor devil. This was, without compassion, the first
name that the beggar gave to the king. And he could judge him without pitying
him, because he had all the information before his eyes, seeing how he was going through
what he had already gone through. And when something is known and understood you
do not feel compassion, but tenderness. Tenderness is a bridge between
ignorance and insight; it is the transitional state between Shade and Clarity,
and its route extends to Recognition of Acceptance. Compassion, on the other
hand, mistakes the bridge and chooses to cross the path of prejudice, which
does not ford the river. Tenderness gives you some bread and then stretches
one’s arms; compassion gives bread to be able to forget the one you are
looking. The beggar who entered, after seeing what he had not expected to see,
knew how to do what he never had imagined to do, and told his twin that he
wanted to tell him the story of his life. And as he spoke and watched him, he
had a shock, because he guessed that together with the king, at his side and in
him, his traitor had come.
Thus, the
time has come to introduce the Beggar King to the first of his three traitors;
that not will surprise him, since it is an old enemy that always goes with him;
and furthermore, it is the same deceiver that has often betrayed The Dirty Beggar.
It could not be otherwise: they are so alike that they even have the same
traitor, but let us hope that it has been for good. Even if it is an
inveterate bastard, unfair and an informer: the first traitor of the king was his
face. And in it, as if it had been marked by fire, the allies of the
conspirator: the neatness of his gestures, the frankness of his eyes, and the
honesty of his features. But in his constant betrayal he also does its
greatest service to him, because it strips his integrity and shows his Beauty, Dignity
and Greatness, in view of anyone who is next to him. That’s why he moves
everybody; why everyone loves him. Let his informer then be praised. Because of
it, he would never be hurt by those he loves most, for if they love him, it is
because they already know and appreciate what his heart transmits, each one of his
threads of blood, betrayed by his transparent look, that traitor. The beggar
was telling his story; the king, who watched him, unconsciously was telling
his, and both were then reading each other in the clean lines of their eloquent looks.
There is no better ground to start a friendship, because each of them knew the other.
The king liked and loved the beggar; the beggar did not love the king, but so
much he liked him that only to like him was not a weaker strike. What can we do so he can be understood better? This tale is burning due to the absence of a voice. It was necessary
to wait until now, but the time has come. One of the beggars is crying out
vehemently for the first person, and so the tale is going to take such liberty.
He will be allowed to speak, so that he can express his urgency. The narrator
and he will accompany each other from now on to describe the shock that the king
was dropping in the seventh beggar. Here is his voice, free for the first time,
and this is his sound: Hail, my king! Congratulations! At this time, I want to make
a toast for your heart and make you an offering of my own: of what you did not
know, because my heart you have always had. Because my traitor oh, my king!
had to strive to hide what he showed, for your sake. But now it will start to
clear the fog that covered it, so that of all you are informed.
Congratulations, my king! Hail!
-I wonder... If you might find all of this
unnecessary, Nike.
-I don't know if it is, Luke, but you should not
excuse yourself. For half an hour I have not been able to keep my ears from your beautiful
words. I start to understand that everything you are telling has a sense, and also why
you are doing it that way, putting your heart in the tale. Because a story can
be told in many ways, but if you let me choose, I'd rather you continued like
that, with your beauty, My Mate, and your effort. Thus, your heat is gradually
calming me and ghosts are being scared away. But so big your beauty is and so great your
effort that I will have an eternal debt with you. Ask for my help when you find it necessary, if you really think that it is necessary, but I want to talk less and less
and continue listening to you. I'm discovering you again, Luke. It is not true
then that the king read the beggar well, even if he already knew of his beauty, but there
are things he was never able to read. Or it may be because, in fact, he had met
a tree which does not stop growing.
-There are things that he could not read, Nike,
because the information was not offered. But all of that will be seen. As for
everything else, this story not only has a sense, but several, because the king
had, and still has, more than one fear. So the story continues. And that’s why
the tale must go on, with love to him in every word. Because until he is able
to see the dignity of his entire behavior - from his eleven days until today-,
you cannot understand the other senses of this tale, and how it was his beauty
which made him earn the love of those who loved him most. Not only that of The Dirty
Beggar, Nike, for in everything he says there is at least another voice that
always accompanies him and takes advantage of his voice to also express love
through his throat. But it encourages me to know that you feel comfortable
listening to me. And with that encouragement that you give me, I will continue.
The beggar
who told the story could read without difficulty the different tremors of the king's heart that his traitor insisted on displaying. Thus, from the
initial placidity he was moving to a stirring which was boiling from need to like. And
soon he noted how calm was changing into a storm and love arrived unannounced
and broke with fast beats that shook the door of his sobriety as a violent
hand. He noted his inner ocean surge, sometimes raging to unbearable pain. But he also saw that however strong the pain was, the king never lost his serenity
or tenderness, and learned to make Wisdom from his need, putting off the
inevitable by the urgent, and progressing as a true man in friendship. Poor devil?
It is only he who is licking his own wounds and refuses to grow, but the beggar
was in the presence of a man, a heart of a gentleman, who called him; a man, who
facing the deterioration of his beliefs, disoriented before the loss of his values
that were breaking for him into pieces, and with the feet near the abyss,
however he squirms, defends himself and manages to reach safety. -Oh, my king,
and I saw all this, all this I watched...! Your face told me about your need, your
battles. Your face revealed the man of integrity that was forging where
according to you there was only emptiness and arrogance. And nothing could conceal
what you so strongly strove to hide. Forgive me, my king, for having seen so much.
Me, who has never been one that wastes his leisure time in looking in order to,
with a bit of fortune, steal a slight glimpse of nudity, or perhaps because I
have lacked the intention of spying, I have always seen, of your feelings and
you, too much. But consider if in the first thing that I saw your traitor did
not do a great service to you. Because I knew it then, when your sincere face
betrayed it. And with the passage of time, I had no more doubts, because your
fierce enemy, that miserable one! continued betraying you; and I loved you more,
my king, and regretted the pain that caused you, which would take you into exile
and the deadly cold of despair. That’s why... at this time you must have
understood that I... always knew of your love, from the first moment. But judge
with this new light if ever this was important; see how our friendship was the
same as if it had come alone, or if it is not true that even my affection was
increased for this reason. Later you will know, Sir, why I never talked. But in
the beginning, it is at least clear that I should not, because we had to wait for
you to be certain about what your heart was telling you and you could make a pact
with it, and you could love the fact that you loved. You needed time. But in my heart, my
king, there could only enter tenderness, and very soon friendship, and they
both stayed. I could not object to your love, since the violence of my motif by
Verôme had been so brutal that I learned from the beating that it had left, mainly
on my conscience. Oh, my king, when you have been on the verge of becoming a
murderer, to survive and so that terrifying possibility does not become
present, one must have a brake and starts by raising a barrier against
prejudice! I started doing what you would do later and I observed without
speaking; and by dint of observing, with the eyes of the body and the soul wide
open, you learn to look better and you can see the virtues of those who accompany
us, or you can perceive some new truths which until then had been hidden and which, suddenly, dazzle. And one is surprised with unintended reasoning and wonders
about the different ways in which beauty glows. And one day I was surprised wondering
whether I might not be an incomplete man, because I was lacking something, I
needed to know a taste of masculinity. With The Daughter of the Earth by my
side that thought did not go further, but it began to sprout just then and was
about to become mature. For all this, my king, when your love arrived, and
seeing how you struggled to take control of your own identity, I was invaded by
shudder, which was turning into Commotion. Because I was touched when I saw you
in battle against the toxic waters which had the shape, color and flavor of an elixir,
but are nothing more than poison and fire which had failed to burn your pains,
but almost had scorched your heart; I was moved when I saw the gentleness with
which you allowed to stay next to your bed of recovering a man whose odor could
have offended you; I was impressed when I saw your love for the beggars and how
you began to identify with them, and without fear, you were getting used to the
idea of considering who you were and whether you wouldn't be an exiled tramp that
was returning home, for only a real beggar can know of those of his condition
and speak of them as you spoke, and engage in what they lived, endorsing his
misfortunes and hopes, as if the first flash of your class
consciousness was already lighting; and I was shuddered when I noticed that you knew
yourself in the mirror that I lent you and you were not daunted to see your
twin, nor to look at yourself again; I was softened when you nodded to my claim
that we were brothers; and I was overwhelmed when you wanted me to stay and
continue talking to you about me, when I was no more than a man still in the
process of reconstruction, disinherited and dirty, without anything to offer
but the warmth of his chest, where there was a heart beating with so much need.
Oh, my king! Your arrogant lineage, the cold breath of your living among raiders
and the impassivity you spoke to me about, where are they? Where are the empty
words, the conceited expressions and the insensitive gestures of your dynasty?
What happened to the mighty man who lived with you? What happened to the king? Nothing
of this is true: none of that ever existed. I just saw what I had before me: a warm-blooded man, a friend with open arms, a brother in the heart, a twin in
pain, a false king needed as beggars, a beggar.
And the narrator
has already spoken of need and like, but something more has to be said, because
we still lack a perspective. Certainly The Dirty Beggar, after that twilight of
November which brought his redemption, was a man of whom you could say that he'd
gotten a piece, maybe a hunk, of real happiness. With the love of his wife and
a grain of his own being, a small immortality, in the son he expected; with the
Wisdom and teachings that his mates were giving him carelessly as precious
stones; and with the street: sordid and violent, teacher and mother, his bed
and dining room, he had everything he wanted, and yet... It was true that
beggars loved him, but only The Daughter of the Earth understood him. He felt
that he still needed something, but did not know what it was until he met the King
Beggar: he needed someone who could read his heart without stridency, who was
his brother, his friend in need, the shoulder to lean on. Again the king is
remarkable, because love, which blinds so many people, far from filling his
eyes of sand, gave him Clarity. The Dirty Beggar had been understood, and never
before, or never better, it was a man who did. He loved increasingly more his
new brother because he was able to decipher his whole oracle, and his words
prove it. When he meets a beggar that smells of earth, he has nothing to object
- because it does not protest he who agrees-, and explains his smell as
something that is part of him just as wood covers trees. When he knows that
this man has spent half of his life looking for a faith, he understands that the creed he has, more human than divine, is firm and will no longer falter, although
the search, as in all beggars on Earth, will go on; and, however, he will not
kneel before any totem or will carry offerings to the first God who comes
claiming an altar. And the most shocking thing of the vast clarity that always
goes with him is that he never doubted that a woman and a man living in the outskirt
of misery could provide for their little king, because - and still my tears
have to do homage to your words, Sir - knows that the little king will never
lack anything, that his parents will wear away their miserable shoes begging in
the streets or will do anything so that he always has everything he needs. That
Beggar of the Golden Cradle - and now I'm really crying, Sir, as you are also
crying – who only a few days later would give his blessing to the little king.
Calm! The time will come; but after all this flood of unexpected understanding,
no one can be surprised that also The Dirty Beggar began to love the king
because he needed him.
But there is
something else, a new greatness that he may not be aware of. Both beggars met again, two days later. - And I say two beggars, Sir, because you can
certainly give the name of beggar now to the King Beggar unhesitatingly.
But king he was, and in my heart he will always be, and thus will continue (beggar
sometimes, sometimes king), his names in the story. His sincere eyes showed joy
about the reunion. Friendship was flowing in his words and perspired in his gestures.
A sober calm, in addition, surrounded as a reassuring aura the bed of the
beggar who was lying, who began to find himself a winner in his first battle.
But as the last breath of his former adversaries, he could not prevent a small stain
to dirty the rags of he who stood at his side, what made it necessary for the
beggar to take off his shirt. And, naked to his waist, his eyes looking at the king's face, he saw how he stared at his chest. -Oh, my Lord! You can't
understand with which strange ways you have earned your throne, or what signs
of nobility made your kingdo extend its borders and were for you
those of my country, my heart. Because of any king in love who does no longer
defends himself for being, before the first sign of nudity of a man who seems
beautiful to him, one might expect, without it being possible that anybody
objects to it, a look of desire. But your Greatness, my Lord, has unknown
regions and unusual laws ruling only in your homeland, because your eyes did
not look at me with desire. And your traitor made me know why they looked, and what
they saw. They looked at me because you loved me, and love being tenderness, they
became explorers in search of information. And in my chest you found a short
treatise of history and an eloquent geography of misery that told the facts of
my biography that my words would have failed to tell; a map with simple
conventional signs that many had browsed and, however, only you knew how to
read. The clear lines of your face moved as on the pages of a book: from left
to right, from west to east, studying the letters dirt was shaping, creating
words with them and with the words messages with sense, investigating,
deciphering, solving the hieroglyphs. And, as you had done with all the
beggars whom you had been introduced, you guessed the key to another secret
name, my name this time. Because you gave me a new name, my king, one that only
you gave me and that you will immediately know. Resting your eyes on my chest
you walked along a plateau with some mountains, almost unreadable by erosion,
and long valleys with rivers of sweat that seem to have been trodden by
careless passengers who had left their footprints there: strikes in senseless crusades,
scars of war, injuries and cuts of a violent path that could be abandoned,
without mercy, to the demon of oblivion. But the king did not have enough with
a single glance and, sharpening his eyes, he discovered that from the landscape
had sprouted (with the strength of new things, always claiming the life
that belongs to them) other mountains and other trees by the river. There you
could read his months in poverty, the soot gathered when walking and days
outdoors; the traces of hunger, which sculpted contours in a different way, transforming
the surface; and the wounds that time had chiseled in him, time as a venerable old
man, who as a naughty boy, sometimes becomes a street artist and idles drawing
the walls of the chest with graffiti, outlining blisters, weariness, traces of
fires, pollution, shreds of mist, nights of insomnia, weeds, mud and splash,
pain in your bones, marks of the furrows in the floor, vestiges of the wake that tears
are leaving, nausea, endless exhaustion... all the stigmata of the street. The
contrast of two such different landscapes would have disoriented anyone not
having his magnetic compass towards the Pole Star, but the king always knows
where the north is. And he understood that the beggar he was watching would not
change the plaintive milestones of his new horizon for the equivocal pleasures
of a pleasant life that he could earn with his own hands. The thoughts of the King
Beggar could be read, as usual, without difficulty, and could be almost
literally transcribed word by word. If you would now write them in the third person,
they would say that he understood how the beggar had hardened to become a man
who took pride, with the forgivable pride of the tears shed in Verôme, in being now
what inevitably he was. That man - still thought the king - was satisfied of the
rust covering him and how it meant redemption and fight, sticking out his
tongue to fate to rewrite it. A man who shrugs his shoulders and
decides to stay and live in toughness, but in the peace of the rediscovered faith,
forever on the edge of the river, where beggars fight every hour, each with the strength each of them has, for survival. The king had read the entire story without
words that the dirty nudity of the chest had just narrated him; and in that
mute testimony he had drawn the right conclusions. –History is thus, my Lord:
in the beginning it was the eyes; someone who came later invented writing, and the
eyes wanted to read. And for those who can read storytellers were born. That is
why the king has one. Because he read two names that were in me, so beautiful
as a brother and a friend, but you gave me the beautiful name that no one had
given me, and where everybody saw a child, or at most a restless, but
impertinent, teenager who doesn't grow, you wrote a Man with capital letters
and I had a new life with that noun. Never did the king want to modify any bend
in the landscape he saw - because it does not protest he who agrees-, and knew
how to explain his twin, and started to explain himself in him and wanted to
accompany him. And he went beyond the myth and did not agree that the beggar
was adorable. Because you should not adore the friend or the man: he is simply
known. -Oh, my king, Recognition of Acceptance is, as everyone knows, the sum
of all the gifts, which in all of them lives and from all of them is born, but
mainly from Commotion: your sign, my king!
-Forgive me, Nike. Before continuing, I want to seek
your help, to confirm whether I've read correctly what happened.
-You have read it as it happened, Luke, but let me add
something: there is a faith different from the faith of the street (which I
believe without reservation), which you have handed me, a beautiful tale about
the laws of the universe, of which although I can't say that it is completely
my faith, some things I've learned and have them for certain including that the
sixth and the seventh sign are interchangeable. It is true, at least in your
case, because besides Beauty you have also been given Clarity. And this is
reassuring, because you can read some situations that could have led to misunderstandings.
But I have no fear, because I think that you can see the king just as he was. It seems
that his traitor did really a great service for him, but only because he knew
how to select, as if he obeyed a call from Earth, whom he might deliver,
without loss of his integrity, the secrets stolen from the betrayal. So, Luke,
everything is so clear and so clean! That I don't think you need my help.
You've read the king's heart without stridency. Let me steal your
language, which I find so beautiful that I would like to snatch you some words to
make them mine from now on.
-You can keep them, of course. Thanks Nike! I am
struggling to describe him with justice, but the narrator, unfortunately, is
only almost omniscient; and so he continues searching for help and confirmation.
-I am not sure he is not omniscient, Luke, but you'll
know better than me. Please continue! I want to keep on looking with your eyes at
that beggar who you are calling king, and the other beggar who is with him.
When The
Dirty Beggar saw the tenderness with which he had been read, or justice
(another name for the same thing), he knew that he only had an alternative.
Because if all the king’s thoughts were seen, with no possibility to hide them;
and if those thoughts always spoke well of him, it can be concluded that he makes
himself be loved by what one sees, but also by what one does not. And though
love sometimes escaped him by his mirror crystals, they are the same crystals
that might have reflected a desire, but if they did, the beggar never saw it.
And despite the fact that he would have never been censored for showing it, if
it was not seen, it is because he had battled so that it could sleep, in the warm dawn of
friendship. This way, both in what the beggar saw and in what he didn't see,
shudder was gaining ground and started to look for a place to stay. Therefore,
when the king unintentionally stained the beggar, there was only one thing that
could be done: to clean himself and then clean him tenderly. And if the king has
ever wondered about the love with which he was cleaned, surely now he will
understand that, as it was seen, it was inevitable. The beggar had to touch the
king, so that tenderness for tenderness, his hands showed him, better than any
other sign, that everything was as it should be, that not only his love did not
disturb, but that the warmth he claimed was not going to be denied to him. After
this gesture his eyes betrayed that he had lost his second fight and that,
precisely for this reason, he had won. From that moment he stopped fighting and
loved him who he wanted to love; and he grew up in his manhood when he understood
the beauty of putting his heart in the man and the beggar. And with all the
pain that has always taken him; he will never repent of loving him. -Finally,
my king, it had been a tough battle, that only you had to fight. Because the
universe wanted, once again, to test you so from all that stress you could
learn a lesson that would make you unique among your mates and would write
your own way as a beggar. Thus, before reaching the street, you had already learned
that a man who knows what he is, and is with dignity, does not feel shame. And
if he sought a way that his emotions were not seen, it is not because he needed to
change for friendship the love which he was denied, but because really
friendship mattered more and you struggled for it for all it has of warm and
essential. And although I know, my Lord, you have always intensely loved the man,
I also know that always, and above all, you have loved the friend and you could
not live without his friendship. But I can assure you, my king, I could not
live without yours either. Because you have the strength (I now know) that I'm
not sure to have. And your pain on this night was not greater than mine. For
this reason, and for other reasons, this is first and foremost the story of a
friendship. And as I don't want to cry yet, let the voice of the
narrator sound again-. Who claims to speak in order to deny his former words, as he has not many
paragraphs before said that the love of the king was a slow learning. And he
does not err by mistake, for anyone who has followed his movements from the
cradle would have deducted when seeing him on the bed where he was lying in
that first meeting with the beggar, that he would require a long time to decide that
it was well what could not be otherwise. And learning it was, certainly, but
not slow, because he just had needed two days to defeat himself. And he who
watched him only could stare at him stunned, stunned by his Greatness.
For this
reason, and for other reasons, this is first and foremost the story of a
friendship. But The Dirty Beggar also wanted the friendship the other beggar
offered him, since he was in front of a brother whose hands burned with the desire
to surround him in a perennial embrace, one who had read Man in his geography;
a friend who had kept a clear mind and clear eyes, because friendship is a city
without fog. Friendship, the geography, a city that emerges from the burned
hills and has got two rivers, friendship: crowned ridge! Friend of the rich river,
descendant of heather with its waters flowing into the river of misery and fires
in the centre of your heart, a friend: a hunter's arrows! Friend of the poor
river, killer of pain that lives in the outskirts and in defense of the beggars
pours its rage, a friend: falls of wrath! -Oh, my king, years were passing,
indolent and terrible, and friends who one day were began to move away, and are
now only a point in the distance! Friends that I lost by neglect, and those
that I lost out of clumsiness. I'll never know what blind misunderstandings separated
me from others forever. Some fell on the road and never could stand up again.
And my useless and miserable time with the bald men, who were never friends,
separated me from the few who had resisted, who I no longer will recover.
Friendship, luminous basilica where the miracle becomes flesh in the stained
glass windows, friendship: street without walls! Some hearts I found among the
beggars, some friends' hearts; with a few stridencies, but who does not have any?
Real friends. Friendship, the seductress, which walks the shadow and the blood
and lives among the outcasts, friendship: bridge of the arcades! A man friend
who with a man friend grows, friends: Templar males! Warriors and monks in the
crusade if the battle is on the road of the temple or in the narrowness of the
street of calvary, friends: bridge of the knights! Friendship which has no
cemetery and is light of the stars that no will-o'-the-wisp can defeat,
friendship: meeting of two rivers! The king was there to cover the wounds of his
loneliness; there was the king to cure him. Long time had passed and, since
then, he had never had a heart that he could properly call a friend, but when
he knew where he was, there was no differences between the millionaire and the
beggar. Friendship, star at its zenith which would dare to shine on the city of
fog, friendship: sun with no west to set!
And we had to
wait until the seventh day so that The King Beggar finally met the Daughter of
the Earth. They couldn’t meet before because she also was convalescent, febrile
heats burning her skin and a star in her womb. But the story was talking about
something else. Or perhaps not, since it has to continue speaking of friendship.
-Oh, my king, your greatness, which began by snatching the borders of my
country, ended up taking over my whole country! And how not to yield to the
next Commotion, if when you meet the one who should have been your enemy, or thus she would have been called by ninety-five out of a hundred kings in love, you
prefer to let her steal your heart and almost loved her as much as you love him?
What should I do, my Lord, seeing how you appreciated her and understood her,
but to shed my blood on your friendship? What should she do, whose ancient
intuition told her of your love for me, making my explanations unnecessary? The
Daughter of the Earth knew how much we needed each other, you and I, my king,
and how, however, your friendship went towards her for what she was. Thus both
wrote, you and her, the first lines of a new legend of need and like and
everything was repeated. And if she had had the temptation to become a story
teller, the words and facts would have been the same, with love, however, at
the end of the chronological order. But that day you won both of us, my Lord,
and had our hearts forever. As The Beggar of Spirits, always alert, you had
located the point of power in the outskirt and as those who came before, you wanted
to feel the warmth that she gave. But what irony, my king, when you no longer
looked for a woman, the wisest of them came to you to make you doubt your new
faith and show you the beauty of the abandoned faith! Thus are examined the
hearts like yours, weighed on the scale of doubts, so they never get old. And
that's what often happens when you believe you have found the balance of the universe: a
place where you can place certainty. In addition, my king, you also managed to
decipher the secret of her name, because your sentences meant you had just seen
her as the daughter of the Earth, and that’s why now you deserve to share that
beautiful name with me. And they talked about true love and unlikely fidelity;
about new furrows in the soul and the laws of the universe. With her you
learned part of the uncertain and the occult and distinguished the call of the
Earth: you heard clearly its tremors, captured the cadence with which it pumps
incandescent substances through its veins of ore and you smelled the scent of its
emanations. Thus you are sheken by its calling the first time you hear it, but from
that day it was always with you, and only extreme pain has obscured it at times
in your reason. All this telluric force explains the intensity with which you
felt the heartbeats of the little king. But it also explains that the unborn boy felt, as
a shock, the tenderness of your hand, my king, on his small heart, from which you
will never get away. Oh, my Lord, nothing happens without reason, and only
children, who are born blind, follow the calling of the Earth and a fierce instinct
guides them in the dark and they always know who is worthy! But calm, my king, the
time for both of us to cry for him has not arrived yet.
The Daughter
of the Earth became necessary to you, and since then she has been in your
heart, my Lord, because the woman is the Universe. They came first and we are their
creation. It is them who gave name to all things, and that’s why the things
they didn’t give a name to do not have any existence. But they keep secret the
name of many other certainties that only they are able to reach, because they
have the words to invoke them. For this reason, because whatever has no name
does not exist, if a man disrespects them, may a woman come to remove their
names, and without the name he will be naked, fallen on the ground, the mere
corpse of cowardice. In a woman you can find the whole cosmic matter, an atom
of each substance that fell from the world after its big bang. Thus, since
everything is on them and they know and love everything, they always move with
resolution. They resist storms and can walk on the waters where a man sinks.
But they won’t take happily their boats to the sea, because their Wisdom will
have warned them when it is not reasonable because of the force of the wind and
the anger of the waves. And many times when a man cries, something is sinking inside him
that he will never recover. But if a woman cries, a creation is near. That’s
why the Universe is a woman. And one day a woman will conceive with another
woman and we men will no longer be necessary, but there is also dignity in not being
necessary. However, they will continue to call us next to them, because they
love all creation and nothing is without its contrast. And among the beggars of
our outskirt, three women hold, as Atlas held the firmament, the five men.
And you, my king, never questioned this, and know yourself in my story because
you share this with me. And in those days, still your integrity was to show a new
sample of your beauty, because it was your conviction and not only the voice of
friendship which made you say that the Daughter of the Earth and the Tree-Beggar
deserved each other. And the fact of seeing that they love each other not
only does not overshadow your nights, but it increases your happiness, because you
want it to be thus. The king needs a story teller because he doesn't know of his Beauty,
his Dignity and his Greatness. Thus began the story. But as it progresses, it
will be easily understood why they always kept their faith in you. The Daughter of the Earth
had only needed one morning to find out, just as I had learned, that there's no room in you for
dirt or betrayal. Hence the words that so much moved you, which
were, however, only a premonition of the inevitable: when thou seest us, thou
shalt know us! It was never a challenge, my Lord, because only uncertain hearts
will be challenged and yours is not. It was a prophecy. Because it could not be
otherwise.
Seven days
had needed the king to meet the seven beggars who were then. In just seven days
he had left his footprints in the furrows of the land where they inhabited and had
been heated by the fires that everyone approached. And, burning hearts, flames
among flames, the first time that the eight beggars were together was at the
end of the eighth day, a beautiful night of lights and fires. Clear was the night
to which fog gave a truce, opening up suddenly. And so it was that the king
came out of his tent, took a deep breath, and felt that the harmony of the
cosmos struck him in the face. Because at least in that moment the universe was
beautiful, or maybe it was that when She heard how he uttered Her name, She did
not have enough with showing herself with clothes and She undressed for him, and
night invited to bite it, delicate and tender. Night of fires, of motifs by Verôme
and gifts of the universe; of basilisks and catoblepas and a great white whale.
Fires surrounding a magical pagan ceremony amid the splendor of a summer night:
a beautiful black mass which would not offend the gods, because it was a ritual
of harmony, of hearts in unison and forgiven pains. And it was not a night to reject
God-Fate; it was rather of acceptance and admiration of His universe. But in
addition, for the new beggar, the twilight was revealing as a mirror of two
crystals and four decisions. And, already a winner in two battles, the false gods
which he consciously rejected were god money and the demon of oblivion. And
everything was burning around him and there were fires in the sky and on Earth.
And sitting among his mates, just one more beggar, he noticed how their
hearts were much bigger in his, small beings-gods, and wanted to belong as they did
to the mountain and the river, since he felt that he had always been there, living
in the exclamatory. So absorbed, he started to ponder his place in this world
and to consider the option of staying, while his mates began to mention,
irresponsibly, that possibility. - But you must excuse them, my king, because
beggars recognize their peers and, when cold, they need to add their fires.
And when eight needy souls are heated at a time, the universe shrinks and rectifies
and there is nothing that may not happen, and it is even fair and harmonious to
distribute the stars. And it does not even matter that in the sky they are never
seen together; because they decided to cheat the sky and recreate it. This is
how they stole the sky Antares and Aldebaran, Castor and Pollux. But that was a
night of Venus in its glory, and the Servant of the Wind was the Mother of the
Earth and seemed His interpreter, or His medium; so radiant and seductive that
hers were from then on the flashes of Spica and Fomalhaut. And they also stole
four stars from the Lion, who from that day does no longer own Zosma and Regulus,
Denebola and Algieba. But then they didn't know whether they were awaiting Elased,
the star of the south of the head of the lion, or the little king, and either
of them was already very close to the Earth. Oh, Elased, which never arrived!
Elased, you tender star, you are still awaited! The eighth beggar had two stars,
because his are the north and the Zodiac. And so, his was Zosma, the back of
the lion, because in the back of the king kis strength and his fortune lie. But
his traitor reflected a little pain and a mild protest, and it was the first
time that this beggar protested. Because Zosma is between Denebola and Algieba,
and his sense of geographical fairness shook, and he considered inappropriate
to stand in the middle of the sacred couple. But the universe knows very well
where every star should be placed and the king will end up understanding where his
place really is, although it is never known where his inexhaustible beauty
comes from. -Because since that time, my Lord, you had a new fear that has made
you, once again, enormous in your Greatness. And sometimes you are bitten by the thought
that the desire of your heart might be fulfilled, if the beggar gives you his,
and nothing you fear more than that fortune, because that possibility would
break the harmony and the beauty of the sacred couple-. For this reason, and
for other reasons, the north is the cardinal point of the king, and the beggars
also had to look in that direction to steal a star: Northern needle, from
thousands of years ago a guide of the sky, daughter of the precession of the
equinoxes that chose it to make it the new light or beacon that designated the north,
compass of the sky until the cycles of the Earth take it away from the
celestial pole and impose a new one, Polaris, alpha of the Lesser Bear, The Polar
Star. This was the star of the north that beggars gave the king and the night
had bonfires in the sky and fires on Earth. A night like that must have watched
God-Cause, at the beginning of the beginning. And who knows if now He
might not be looking down to Earth, the second room (because we live in Horror,
but we come from Liberty) of the children of His heir God-Fate, the rational principle
of the universe. The king had had a fire in the fire and was already prepared
for vertigo; and that night it had begun what would end the morning after, when,
alone with the Lady of Shade, he would be told the tale of the universe.
Contrasts. In
days ninth and tenth The King Beggar knew that he was approaching the time of a
decision that could no longer be deferred. Meanwhile, and while he was looking
for an opportune time to face the inevitable, and, small and alone, he was considering
what to do with the rest of his life, he was still enjoying the new flavor of
the world, wishing that the eleven days were everlasting, because he sensed
that whatever his decision was, a pain and a loss would come with it that would
leave him a bitter taste and the nagging uncertainty of not knowing whether it had
been successful. But as his meeting with fate arrived, he wanted to take
advantage of all the lights that the following two days would bring him. And he
began to know the surroundings, in short and frequent walks; and the beggars
saw him walk calmly from the lake to the alder grove, from the alley to the river,
as if the energy of his recovered health were calling him to the opening of his
senses, to bathing in the lights and marvel at the whimsical shadows they were
drawing around the grove; sometimes holding the hands of The Daughter of the
Earth and The Tree-Beggar, looking at dawn as they had done one day, as if
there had never before been one and they had to knead it in the large ovens of
the horizon and it was still hot and tender, so that he could bite it. This way,
wandering around aimlessly, his feet took him also to places where society threw
away their waste, the dirty stores from which poverty is dressed and fed. But,
moving among his mates, the beggar who so well read all the names, felt,
however, a new desire to grow when he saw them reading, and talked about books
with The Servant of the Wind, learning what realms of wonder the more blessed ones
threw away to landfills. But the king also had some wonders to give, and showing how
one must breathe to stay afloat, he learned to swim in the heart of The Selective
Sharer. They were days of light in paradise, and the eighth beggar savoured the
lust of its last flashes. But venomous snakes have a triangular head; and in
the midst of Eden they keep on biting; and they attacked the king with three
fangs. Because he saw The Luminous Beggar coming from the street, the lines of
hunger and exhaustion written on his face, slightly softened, perhaps, by custom.
And the king had no choice but to look at himself in that mirror, which showed
him a future vision of what his own image could be. And so it was that he saw
himself returning from the street, sore feet, clothes stuck to your body due to
intense heat, solitary and dirty, with his stomach cursing his hands which returned
empty. But he answered with one of his most oft-repeated gestures, and gritting
his teeth and tightening his jaw, Acceptance escaped him again on the strength
of an interjection syllable. Whenever he pronounces it, his clean eyes alert he
has just learned, startled, a new hardness of the life of beggars he was
unaware of. But you can also see how the teaching is written down in the book
of which cannot be otherwise; and since it cannot be otherwise, he makes it his
own teaching. Each ah of the king is,
therefore, an interjection belligerent with power at the time it is a solemn
vindication of his mates. Well you can see that he was getting to know his
homeland with shocks. Because the second sting was going to be stabbed by The
Beggar Master, who compared the feelings that the king was experiencing with
the inversion of values of Carnival, those days in which it is allowed to
subvert the stable cycles of civilization and one can get into the skin of
imagined characters and dramatize situations that do not correspond with the
everyday reality; where you can dress the rags of a beggar, because at night you
go again, comforted, to the comfort of the bed linen and the pantry, and the dirty
faces of real beggars are dissolved in the dawn. The king doubted, but did not
know himself in that specter. He had the certainty that Hunger and Beauty hurt
and had nothing to do with Carnival, because whether he stayed with them or
not, either in the avenue of fortune or in the street of misery, the image of
the need of his mates would no longer leave him; and a false beggar does
not later approach the table of the beggars and eat from their dishes.
-Therefore, my king, you could not dodge the third sting. It was inevitable.
Your generosity could not take off your mind a black idea which, however, never
became indignity, since you never came to mentioning it. Your intuition of
beggar saved you, but we had to help you with our hints; with severity, if needed.
Because what had happened in those days, all those tales of warmth and
friendship, could have lost their value-: it is one of the indignities of
poverty that the beggar dares not to go near the heart of he who has most, even
if he loves him, because the gestures may be confused. And it is the same
indignity of wealth, which will never be sure of the reasons for the love they
give someone. But enough, because this is the tale of the king, and although
there might be room for indignity, ugliness has no place. Long the storyteller
has been meditating on the advisability of including this small section, but he
had to mention it, albeit in passing, because it also sheds light on the doubts
of the king, who, once more, found the only solution of the riddle: the beggars
had been excluded from this cancer in the world, and preferred to stay in the
need because they know well that there are thousand intermediate steps from the
glare of the first coin to the obscenity of extreme ambition, and
degradation is growing with height. That’s why its damn name will not be again
pronounced in this tale.
-Nike. It seems that you startle. You might need to
say something.
-Forgive me, Luke. It was just a new glow of this
fleeting idea that sometimes crosses my mind and I cannot grasp. But I have
lost it again. And I feel that it is something as simple as adding two ideas
together, and it is important.
-Surely it is. But it will return when you're not
expecting it. Anyway, speak if you wish, Nike
-It may not be necessary. But I put myself in the king's
place and I think that it must have been a very difficult time for
him, since all options seemed wrong. If he was right, it is because he had to
choose between two vile acts and chose the one which seemed to him to be less
shameful. It is not easy to see poverty and being forced to do nothing, but in
the end he understood that it could not be otherwise, because an aid which was never
required would have never been accepted. Don't worry, if you do not want to
pronounce its damn name, I will not do it either. It is enough, because this is
your story, Luke, and it is the tale of Beauty. Let us not add anything else.
-Amen.
While all
this was going through the king's mind, the beggars, who understood what he
was feeling, respected his shyness and moved aside to leave him alone in his
privacy, or spoke to him about something else. Maybe they know well what
loneliness seizes a beggar in that twilight hour, cold and painful, in which one
sees himself in front of misery, watching tiredness and hunger as horizons and
disoriented, looks around and it is then when the lights of the nearby homes
hurt your eyes and you do not want to look at them because loneliness and cold
spit in your face and Exclusion comes as a blow against a concrete wall, a
blow whose burn marks you forever. Some of the beggars, the oldest, had also got
used to observe that there are those who prefer to stay away from paradise,
because many are the snakes, and leave everything so as to not live in a golden
exile. And they were no longer surprised that the same cycle was repeated over
and over again. But they could do nothing to help him and were silent together
to avoid falling into the indignity of words, small in the memory of their own motifs
by Verôme. Finally, the twilight of the tenth day had lost its last light, and
night had fallen, quickly and unexpectedly cold, like an eclipse of the sun in
the summer. The king's eyes had the wet brightness of goodbyes, his head
turned towards the stars, watching them in the void of not knowing whether he
was watching them on the last night of the outskirt, or in the first one. On
the threshold of fate at the time crack where farewells may be final, no wonder
that misery may transfigure and even hunger surprises with its beauty.
Shivering, looking again at the faces of his seven mates with the light
that was dying, so their photographs did not blur in the following critical
hours and he could remove them from the album and hold them before his eyes
whenever he would need them to not allowing himself to forget everything that he had
lived with them, The King Beggar went into his tent, a solitary figure, to meet
his fate.
Shade is the
first name of Verôme, and when it comes, it comes hand in hand with pain and night
becomes insomniac; and the king could not sleep. He had some crucial hours
ahead when he had to measure the strength of his heart and be alert to the
signs; and although few would have accepted the challenge of looking at Verôme at
its face, sleeping among beggars, the king was not a man who hesitated. And no
matter what happened later; just let us follow the chronological order, as
loyal as the traitors of the king, who, like them, doesn't lie and will not
allow questioning his story teller. For the story wants to do justice
to The King Beggar, and since justice only with truth does shine, let us add that the
only truth, impressive and naked, is that his first decision was to stay. It
must be clearly seen he had the courage that heroes have to make the toughest
decisions, and he decided to live the rest of his days as a beggar, dwelling
among his mates either in beauty or in poverty. -Oh, my king. Once upon
a time there was a beggar who was born in a golden cradle. A King Beggar, who once he
arrived at the time of his virility, and tired of being cradled in solitude
and eclipses, preferred to go and sleep in the mud! Because if from that clay
pain and hunger came, but also the burning matter of resurrection and beauty,
and for being substances all of his mates, they were also, indisputably,
his own. He had dared to look at Verôme’s scorching lights, which did not burn
his eyes; he had won in the challenge of the dirty glass; he spoke without fear
with Recognition of Acceptance and knew himself a free man, free to be a beggar
of the Earth, and in the narrow alley of misery, free. And dreams, comforts or
ambitions of his former life could not stop him, because he considered them
black ghosts lurking in a dark and lonely road where he did not want to return-.
The Shade of Verôme shudders because the light of Liberty surrounds it first as
a halo surrounds the new moon, but soon it explodes, expands and floods
everything the eye can see and ninety-five out of a hundred can't stand its
blinding radiation. True freedom is a frightening idea. Knowing that one can be
free, the owner of your own path and your own identity, sure that our ideas are valid
and belong to us, you have to pay the price of undressing of the alien slavery
with which they have dressed us from the cradle, and leave the burden of all
that has really never been ours, all useless things that they have sold us as
fundamental things; and you have to watch it all again as if your eyes had been
temporarily blinded and regain vision, and stay in your bones and skin and
create yourself hourly, as beggars create a new world every morning which is
good only for that day, with almost nothing and from nothing. No bitterer
decision in reality, but no sweeter one. Or else, how can we understand that once
and again men and women in the fullness of their strength leave it all and jump,
apparently, that inexplicable leap into emptiness? - But it must be that the sky
is clear, My Beggar, and here below you can see Earth, look at it!, so small and so
distant; the breeze is pushing us to gain momentum and we feel like jumping;
and in a flight at ground level near the river, catch Liberty with one’s hand
and continue gliding with it, delaying the time to put your feet firmly back on
the ground-. It could not be otherwise. However strongly the next day's events
seem to deny it; however strongly the king strived in maintaining the painful
reminder that he had to go and blamed himself for this; with everything that with his mates he had learned, about life and himself, it was inevitable that he
decided to stay, as inevitable as it was to decide later that he had to leave.
Because his bed of beggar, finally calm after that brave decision, also hid a
harmful animal: an intense pain that overpowered the king as a shadow. - But
let it stand, until it should take its place in the chronological order, on the
morning that followed! In those slow hours of the morning of the tenth day, you
were taken, once again, by Dignity and Beauty; and your Greatness, my Lord, is
not less because of exile-. From that night the beggars have always been eight,
but for sixty days, seven remained in the heat and one in the cold.
It was of the
eighth month the sixth day, eleventh of the king among the beggars. Sleepless
night had transfigured in a warm dawn, a sign of a long summer day's scorching
sun, vivid and painful heat as the day that was to come: a day of birth and
farewells. The sun, a lion in August, which had managed to stab, mercilessly, the
cold of the night before, wanted to be noticed in the sky but also on Earth;
and its multiple beams of light immersed the miserable environment of the beggars
in a gold varnish, and even shimmered in the crystals of a bottle, broken that very morning, scattered on the bare ground. Its golden hues touched the fading
leaves, burnt stones and wood, the dirty canvas of the tents, as if they meant to
illuminate misery and embellish it with a luminous framework which, however,
could not hide the millennia-old thirst of the land, the hunger of the eight
beggars, the hunger mainly of a beggar who when he had just begun to be had to
cease to be, and who couldn't, didn't know how to say goodbye. But he gathered
his last forces to summon his mates, and with a voice taken by a pain
that he could not hide and flooded by a few tears that belied his words, when the time came to speak, the king lied. He had to lie, because he believed
his shadow was not seen; and wrongly but very understandably, he understood that
his heart would not be understood; and when he had lost it all he had to
convince them that he went back to where he had it all, where custom took him
because he did not know, perhaps, how to live otherwise. He promised to come
and see them, feeling sick from the sun on his face and obscurities in his blood,
on the verge of collapse; and he promised not to forget them, sensing that he
could never recover what he was losing. But he never knew that two beggars knew
the truth of the reason for his departure, the truth that was hidden behind the
shadow. -Soon you will meet your second traitor, my king, the only one that
will surprise you. But do not torment yourself making assumptions, because he
does not even have a face and you cannot get to intuit him. But you must know
that because of his betrayal they ended up being two, and not one as you have
always thought, the beggars who knew the solid reasons which forced you to
leave, and that’s why your departure was never called return, but exile.
Although, in fact, my king, you never left us. So much you had bled in eleven
days, bit in criminal bites, that your heart was still here, and here we caressed
it; so also in the hard months that followed your gaze returned again and again
to this place, where you had lost it, blood almost lost-. The ignition of the
car engine coming to take you away sounded like a funeral drum at noon: a new
ill-timed darkness; but none of the shadows of that morning was stronger than
the light of the sun, a star after all, already almost at the Zenith, which
wanted to shine with its powerful light bulb for the star that was coming,
at the time it was expected. And it was just then when the scream was heard
of a woman who was bleeding and the king realized that he could not leave yet;
and he turned around because something more urgent that the voice of his blood
was calling him, inviting him to see the miracle of the cyclical renewal of the
Earth, the wonder of a universe that is widening the way it had been doing throughout
millions of aeons, the stupor and the beauty of the water of life. -Oh, my king,
you could not leave the outskirt but the way you had arrived, with a new bite:
the most tender one and yet the most incurable! You had come with marked blood
and signs on your skin of the teeth of a basilisk; and you had to say goodbye
bearing the indelible imprint, the undying fire signature of the little king.
It really was
of the eighth month the sixth day, eleventh of the king among the beggars. It happened
when the sun reached its maximum height, on the solstice of the day. A woman
and a man, already forever with the beautiful words of mother and father
renamed were reborn in a male who, since he came crying and naked, appeared to
claim the ownership of the land as his parents had done, the only libertarian
way they knew. On the solstice of the day, in the same hot earth in which his
mother was born, near the wood that his father smelled like, with rays of
golden light as golden was the cradle of the beggar who so much was to love
him, the little king arrived with all his fury, determined to claim the three
hearts that belonged to him. It was already here: the star Regulus, the most
beautiful in the sky, gem among the gems of Leo, royal star, light of spring that
had preferred, however, to shine in August, had just fallen to the ground. Oh,
Regulus, you infinite and brilliant light, star in the midst of the darkness of the
beggars, a blazing fire in the heart of your parents, petty king who usurped as
a tyrant the love of the eighth beggar, bright star of the night that came in the
solstice of the day, you little giant, dethroned king of the skies, you little
king! It was never before heard of any star that shone so much in the middle of
the day. But there were eight faces bathed in its clarity, eight beggars who
wanted to tenderly hold him, so he was lovingly handed from hand to hand. And
it came to the arms of the King Beggar, whose heart burst in the most beautiful
moment of his life, because then his Greatness took the shape of a blessing and
his Beauty was transfigured in words. It was so unexpected, even for him, that
it cannot be explained only as the calling of the Earth, as impressive as his
need to spill into a rain of blood, the blood of the love that filled him. With
the music of his verses he caused a chain reaction that made the hearts of the
little king’s parents burst, cause they will never forget - never, as long as
they live! - those minutes full of eternity, where they tried, but they
couldn’t, to return the beauty that was given to them. With the downpour that fell
from their eyes, they wanted to give back cries and hugs to overwhelm the heart
that overpowered them... and bleed with him in eternal gratitude.
"Welcome
to the world, you little king!"… It was the solstice of the sixth day, at
the dawn of the eighth month, wet with reflections of shining light; and as the
rhythmic verses of a prayer or a book of psalms, as the chords of a tuned
instrument, there began to sound a sweet music invading the soul as a harmony:
"Welcome to the world, you little king! You come to an Earth full of beauty...
for those who are able to see it." You may love a child that comes to life
with the heat that comes from the calling of the blood; you can love him with the
tenderness with which you love the children of your best friends; you may love
him cause he is helpless, instinctively. You may love the son of the man you
love, the son you will never have with him, loving the fact that from him he has come.
You may love him as the son of the woman you don’t love, but you are fond of as
much as of the bread on the table, of the light of your eyes, because from her
he was born. The king loved him for none of these reasons, or perhaps for all of
them and some more. He also loved him because he had arrived at the last moment
of the most beautiful week of his existence, because that little child continued
the beauty which in those days he had been able to extract from the dirty face of
the world..., and culminated it. He loved him as much as his life, as his
redemption, as a father loves a son. He loved him, in short, for being who he
was: the small Regulus and no more reasons are needed. -Let me continue, my king,
although I am hardly able. If you feel, my Lord, that suffering overwhelms you
as an unbearable torture, pour your heart in these crystals of luminous tears
that are just one more bead in the huge rosary that you are making for him with
your unnecessary pain. Let my words for the last time bite you like a scorpion,
so your tears end and calm can finally invade you-. "Welcome to the world, you
little king! You come with the wisdom and the beauty of your parents, and the
dignity of all their mates." With these final verses the soft music
emanating from his soul was bound to sound sweet, nice, and perennial in their
ears; and not only for the beauty they transmitted but also for what they
omitted. -Oh, my king, I am breaking your heart and poking around in the sacred
chalice of your privacy, and I just hope that when a few minutes pass I deserve
to earn your forgiveness! Because not everything has been said yet. This story
began with a commotion and later evolved into a chain of reasons. But your
story teller wrote the first lines that day. Because he always believed that he
would see you again, my king, and for then he should have something written
that could explain the shock that you caused me in that sublime moment, the
most heroic hour of your beauty. And you think you know what I'm talking about,
my Lord, because you are still unaware of your own greatness. And you still
cannot see that in the glorious seconds of the blessing there was something
else, something even more beautiful than your words, my king: your magnificent
silence. Close your eyes and bear in mind the scene. Note your mates and
remember their frayed rags and their malnourished faces. Set your look anywhere
on the stage and everywhere you will see the same traces of scarcity. Do you
realize, my king, everything that could have been said, everything that would
have been said by ninety-five out of a hundred, and you never said? Armed with the
foul-smelling flowers of compassion, many would have looked around us feeling
the sticky smell of misery and would have spoken (some did, may God forgive
them!) of uncertain future, of growing up without horizons, of a life of
deprivation and need. Many would have ensured that an unhappy fate awaited him
stubbornly from the hour of his birth. But your mouth, my king, only uttered
what in your heart was a security, the simple assertion of an evidence: "And thou
shalt be happy". It could not be otherwise: from the apparent sterility of
the outskirt you selected the best wheat ears to offer as gifts to the little king.
And these were, from that day, Happiness, Wisdom, Dignity and Beauty. With
these four flowers he was blessed at birth, and with them he will grow; and you
will walk with him, my king, because you have earned the right to accompany him
-. Welcome to the world, Regulus! Welcome you little king!
-Now it is the time for both to cry for him, my friend,
even when I know that you can't talk. We are both broken. And if the darkness of
this damn new moon would not prevent you to see my eyes, you would see them
flooded and reddened. But you would also see that their latest tears are no
longer of pain, because I can hear in the rhythm of your heartbeat that calm is
starting to reach you. And I wish that weeping that now does not let you speak was
only the portico of a happier stage in your road, My Mate! We will dialogue again
when tears allow us, when surprises that still await us in the chronological
order finish. And yet I know that you'll need time, and I respect your need.
But do not cry for him with that pain! Now you should not feel pain, can you
hear me, My Beggar? Hold me strong, My Mate! And when he cries so that you go
to him, go: he is saying that he needs you.
-Phew! So many emotions overwhelm me that I do not
know whether I will be able to answer. But I have to try, because I have to accompany
you with my voice, and not only with my tears, so that your effort is not in
vain, My Mate. Thank you for this hug that warms me; and thanks also for adding
that I need time to ponder what there may be of truth in your words and stop
crying. God bless you, Luke! And God bless you also for letting me love him whom I love
more than life, more than my redemption, as a father loves a son! As you can
see, just by repeating your tender expressions I can try to be strong and not to
cry. And I must seek my strength if it is true, as you say, he needs
me. You know well that I could not love him more if he were my own son and that
I can do nothing to prevent it. And my heart was about to explode - the king's
heart was about to explode, I'm sorry, Luke- of despair.
-I believe that little one loves you so much because he
also knows you need him. And, anyway, even in the times when we feel strong, we
cannot help but cry, all three of us, because life is like that, My Beggar: crying
because of our children and constant fear for their well-being. But there are things
you still don’t know, which will help you see that all that has happened, Nike,
is completely natural. Forgive me for omitting them until they appear clearly
in the chronological order. You admit that it is the best way for ghosts to
go away and for heat to invade your heart as you seek for a place for it with the cold
you're expelling. And also forgive me for all the things that the tale is
saying that maybe it should not say. I don't know whether I am allowed to go beyond your
modesty revealing the pain and feelings of the king. I should have started by
asking you for permission. And although I know it now may be late, anyway, I
now ask you. And do not be afraid to tell me to stop the story here, if that is
your wish.
-Luke, if you ask me, I would say that your King Beggar
is shy, but as any good beggar, he would be willing to sacrifice his modesty for
a moment of understanding. And in your story comprehension is a legion. You like
your characters, My Mate, I really believe you like them! So, please, tell me
your story to the end. And do not spare me even a single thought.
-Thanks, Nike. But if I love my characters, theirs is
all the credit, because alone they have grown. The only thing that an author
can do is to try to transmit them as he sees them, without betraying them. And
forgive me because now, however, I have to keep talking about pain and different
degrees of treason. And about traitors.
Crouching
like a harmful animal, intense pain seized the king as a shadow. Until that
time, and watched as through a curtain of clouds, he had managed to keep it
hidden. But after the greatness of the blessing, the persistent shadow returned
with his whole evil and the eighth beggar was suddenly attacked by his second
traitor. –Because the time has come, my Lord, to let you know its identity. But
you should know that it is not long since it has been deliberately named, in
the hope that you have been able to discover the ugly face that hides behind
its mask and it is thus rightly disgraced. But as I suspect that you are still
in the dark and still do not perceive its name, or has an erroneous suspicion,
unfairly addressed, it will be immediately revealed-: the second traitor of the
king was a bottle glass. A conspirator broken into a thousand pieces
whose treachery was the most infamous, but ultimately, a circumstantial
traitor, since he was born and died on the same day and the secrets of its
betrayal were handed over to a single beggar, who now returns them to his
rightful owner. Because the eyes of the former who wandered lost and still
clouded by a humidity of gratitude that wouldn’t dry out, rested a second in
those broken glasses and watched how the first traitor of the king was
reflected in the second: a glass in the glass. And next it will be seen that the
three traitors were in fact glasses. –Oh, my king. In that mirror I could see
an excruciating ray of bitterness that pierced your countenance and turned it
into a rictus of unbearable pain, and how from that spear in your heart came
the blood which your eyes cried, bitter tears for the love that was lost that
explained to me one of the two halves of your shadow and confirmed me the reasons
that led you to exile! And I… with a single word could have healed you, my
king, but I hesitated. Perhaps I should have taken you away from here to speak
to you alone. But I thought that I had no right to do so when I felt that the
words that came from me would be, certainly, those that most could influence
you and could overwhelm you before a decision that only you had to take,
because there can only be one king in every road. And all advices have a double face: sweet and poisoned, and can make you go away or lead you somewhere without it being you the one who
really decides. The words I never said could have brought you a calm with which
perhaps you would have decided to stay on the street, but I could not take you
to the edge of a precipice which may be the threshold of an initiatory path or
a deadly fall into the abyss. Or who knows if maybe with the words I never said I
could have opened a wound in your heart that would never heal, because the
sudden revelation of the pain that your modesty kept silent could have taken
you forever away from me… and away from the street, that harsh and dusty path
that you had already decided, anyway, to travel. Miseries, my king, because
that was a day of countless losses when you had to see all the acquired wealth
was turned into ruins, one by one, and I didn’t know how to relieve your
bitterness. In earlier days, I had tried to make you see that you should never
fear your heart: the only way I found –and The Daughter of the Earth with me-,
to tell you that everything was right and you were loved. But we never knew whether
our clumsy remarks found their destination; and we had no right to go beyond,
anyway. Forgive me, my king, for not being able to find the blanket to put on
the shoulders of your loneliness, like a beggar should do with another beggar.
But the time was not ripe. And perhaps time was needed for your path to be
extended with pain, that root from which the bitter trunk of Wisdom comes.
But the
second traitor of the king hid a second disloyalty. Because he could have left him
helpless and his heart bare, if his most intimate pain would have been
revealed. And if it didn’t, it was because a beggar, in the most luminous of his
luminous moments, took him away from all looks, taking him away from there. -A
noble action, my king, for which I will always be in debt with that beggar-. So
obvious was the pain reflected in this bottle glass that perhaps the third betrayal
would not have been necessary. And perhaps that mirror was there for that
purpose: to avoid it. Because your third traitor never wanted to betray you. -
And you should know that he never did, until the night of winds when this story
ends when in the state you were in the greatest of betrayals would have
been not to reveal what he knew. But we will return once again to his motives:
the third traitor of the king was The Luminous Beggar – He was, my Lord, as you
have already guessed. But his eyes, which were the light of a stained glass window
where you could once watch the splendor of that mythical being: the catoblepas,
are also crystals that always hid their reflection and took care not to betray you.
Oh, my king! Here the names of your three traitors are finally revealed, so
that you can decide whether they deserve punishment or indulgence: an evildoer
that always accompanies you, an infamous one who has already received its
punishment, and a loyal beggar who, in reality, never betrayed you. Think if
they deserve the pardon of absolution; and perhaps, in your magnanimity, you
are willing to forgive the first and the third. Three traitors, my king, and
different degrees of betrayal. But judge if, in fact, there has been any damage. Or
if the benefit has not been greater.
The Luminous
Beggar and the king got away from that place. And in the unexpected freshness
of a shady tent, which was to be second cavern of the revelations, they said some
never before spoken words. A man who has been trained to repress his emotions
understands that the time has come to overcome Shame and opens his heart to
one who could understand him; a beggar who is beginning to know the shameful
truth that once you have lost everything you can still lose everything, risks
his future in the name of Beauty and gains momentum for a brave confession. He
asmits he loves the Tree-Beggar and welcomes pain - because he had always
accepted what from beggars came to him - if with it he can further integrate
the community of those who are in this world beating. His stark words revealed
the second half of the shadow. He explained that he had to go because he was
not sure that his heart did not betray him, and feared that his mere presence
could stand as blackness in the sunlight of a woman and a man whom he
worshipped. It was an unnecessary fear, perhaps, because he only had to look
inside him to know that it was unfounded; but they were decent words. It was at
that moment, when he explained the high esteem he had for them, when the first mention of the Sacred Couple was made. -Oh, my king, in the boiling altar of
friendship, sacred is that friend who loves me and wants my fortune to continue
in the company of the woman who has my heart! Sacred is the friend that loves
her and defends us!- Because in his intense pain still he has forces for a last
greatness. With no benefit or advantage, because he believes them inexorably
lost, he fights against the fate that delays a justice which never arrives and
opens the eyes of The Luminous Beggar to a forgotten truth: that of two beggars
that, far from showing a childish behavior, have grown to become a real woman and a real
man. His words were a clarity that he who said them never saw: a king who was
going to Shade; but which illuminated the darkness of that couple and spread as
a prodigy by a camp that slowly was bathing in the sun of that light. And he even
had time to be honest with The Luminous Beggar and admit the fire that he
had received from him, when, in the dark times he had believed his heart to be dead,
set, however, as on burning firewood to warm him up. The words they exchanged
were of pain, but never of mourning or bewilderment. The king, who knew he was
leaving, wanted to drink to the very dregs the cup of knowledge; and this is
how they started talking about ways of eating: a trip around the periphery of
charity and its homeless shelters which continued in the shocking perception, virgin
for the king, of containers and it is no time to eat, concepts which he wrote
down in his notebook of the inevitable and remembered when the time came to
prove his courage. This cavern had revealed shining stars from which emerged a
confidence and an everlasting friendship: those of two loyal men who shared the
same fraternity and had had the same initiation.
He who had
come as a king was about to leave as a beggar; he who arrived with pain, walked
slowly to Shade. He had arrived there following the orders of the Universe and
had exhausted his first eleven days with dignity. Because eleven days were
enough to understand himself and comprehend, to know of metamorphosis and
delirium. If his body was touched by Dirt and Hunger, his soul was by the gales
of vertigo and prodigy. His feet learned to walk in mud and his eyes the
way of looking at things with Beauty. Eleven nights had passed from the
temptation of the hospital and it is not known whether he was cured of old injuries
but perhaps sick of new solitudes. But if a beggar has to go, he should not leave
with empty hands. If he didn't take back any coins or hopes, he was leaving
full of learning and the paid debt of his worthy behavior. Because he had
responded to love with loyalty and left in friendship the signature of his Beauty.
And he would not leave without a last sign. -Oh, my king. In a world that is
full of obscurities you must give value to symbols! And all of them, even the smallest
ones, illuminate. We always allowed you your freedom and you were often faced
with difficult choices. See it with a new example: in the early days, my Lord, we
did not wash you. All your gestures had been those of a beggar and we tacitly
decided to leave the decision in your hands, because we saw that you were so
identified with our scarcity that you could have the fear that your being clean
offended our dirt. But you succeeded in your dignity when in the dilemma of
washing thoroughly or not to wash, you chose to swim in the river. In the same
way, you could have chosen, without offense, to wear the clean clothes that they
had brought you, but you despised them and preferred to leave in your rags. If
it is true that it was just one more gesture, it is a symbol that you left the way you
wanted to leave, in the clothes of a beggar. Finally, my king, we were at the
bitter moment of farewell. And in the embrace with which we were separated, my
broken words were no more than a stammer with which I wanted to remind you that
you should always bet on Beauty, in any road you should walk. But you had hardly
started to leave, my king, and we already felt your absence: one of us was leaving,
a beggar who had lived the experiences that many men live in years, in 11 days.
Hail, my King. Now that you walk into Shade, remember that the light always
returns in the morning twilight! Hail! Till the happy hour we meet again!
The exile was
for the king a time of alienation and misfortune, but also of maturing. With the
old threads which so far had been good to tie his plot, he had to continue
his life from the point where he had left it; but he did not know what to do
with them because his story had just been reinvented. Between the walls of the
ochre living space which he no longer felt like home, he had to struggle to
maintain the difficult balance; always looking for a window that faced east, in
the remote hope of seeing the dead fire of his homeland rise again. Solitude burning
among the embers, the grey flag of a man in exile! Great is your wilderness,
solitude. And angelic beings with goat horns tempt vulnerable souls! Because
temptations are always strong and if you cannot return to fetch your blood, you
feel the desire to poison it. In the first hours of the exile he felt so
unworthy that he was on the verge of insanity, and vanquished habits were flying over
with its dark power on the fragility of his exposed heart. But when sober you also
have delusions. And a fleeting fantasy returned him to the awareness of his
responsibility and the king knew what he must do. The temptation of poisons
moved away, but for those who have known their spell they always return. It was an
early entrance in the dark corridors of exile; but a hero who has walked over the
hot embers of pain doesn't forget how much blood he has spilled in battles and does
never come back. And nothing could snatch him the conquests of having accepted his
heart and rejected the waters that are swallowed like fire. With some serenity
at last, he was able to sleep the first night. At that time nobody had spoken to
him about the false beggar, he who inhabited a time with his mates and,
when he was smiled by fortune, decided to abandon them, at the time he turned
his face with derision and contempt. And, however, nothing they had in common,
because that traitor didn't feel any remorse; and the king, who had nothing to
reproach himself for started feeling like a traitor. But see how a beggar who doubts
about his loyalty does not wait, however, for the new day to dawn before
meeting the raiders to explain to them who he has been with and where he comes
from; to warn them that he will not permit any offenses towards them who he loves
or the honor of their memory to be besmirched. A king who no longer knows if he
is a beggar, returns later to his home of wealth and cannot stand the idea of
being served; he wants the only company of his thoughts, surrounded by no one,
to find the letters of his name, which he is already unable to remember, hidden
somewhere in this desert; to stop to mourn the absence of his lost mates.
He ended up preferring the teeth of a solitude which came to him, however, as a
shelter. From the outskirt he had brought the pleasure of discovery and when he
recalled happy hours, the stories and the books, he found refuge in his
library, a safe harbor from which he embarked on new initiatory journeys,
accompanying the fairies in their forest or the harpooners following the course
of the white whale. Decidedly, to that ancient promised land a walker was approaching
with tired feet; a traveller returned, exhausted and hungry, begging for a sip
of water his servants never gave him. Finally he preferred to stay alone and
live with the essential things: a blanket at night and a hasty snack; a chair
placed against a window that opens to the east. He had a cold in his bones that
no fire could heal and, however, his heart gave off fire. In the home of his
flames the humble people were warming up, among whom he made new friendships, the stained
glass windows of his Star spilling in kaleidoscopic lights. The King Beggar was
finding the eyes of the bridge where he could take shelter of his loneliness; but did
not find a shelter that would protect him from his worst enemy, his
uncertainty. Every morning he began a new soliloquy in which he considered the
possibility of return, but he was always defeated by the certainty that it was
impossible. Because he was concerned, moreover, about how to return. In those
eleven days the king had learned almost everything about how their mates
lived and rejected the simple idea to visit them, because it does not visit the
beggars he who is made of the same clay: either you live with them or you beg
alone, a cul-de-sac which was making him go crazy. Thus, the days passed but each day
brought the same battle; and he who had to fight it was weakening. As
indecision consumed him, his bitterness increased. He wondered, for example,
if when December came, he would be able to return for Regulus. He had to go, at
least once, to learn how to locate its golden glow in the night sky and be
guided by its light in the darkness, because that would be his only lighthouse,
if the exile went on, to the despair of the absence of the little king. So much
abandonment, so much unnecessary cold! He did not trust his heart, which would
have comforted him; had he looked better, he could have seen that if chance had
not led him to meet one of his mates, sooner than later and by his own
determination, his feet would have guided him up the steep slope of his
homeland. But the King Beggar, meanwhile, was freezing. He became too severe
with himself, without considering the extenuating circumstances, because if the
shadow prevents you from travelling the way back, you must continue along the
only permitted road and regain your life; and if there is no alternative, you
will resume it with the mendacious threads of the false homeland; because, as a
beggar, he had already acquired the ability to adapt to the environment and had
learned to sometimes eat and sleep anywhere. It was hard to accept that he
should continue without them; but he began to breathe when he made the decision
that he would not allow himself the weakness of oblivion. He had already rejected that demon; and a loyal king, whether he knows that he is or not, keeps
his loyalty even in an environment of suffocating darkness, and twice came to
ask people to slap him if his memory was unfair to them. But how to forget
them! How the cold tongue of oblivion was going to be stronger than the nights
when the tongues were shivering bonfires... the tale of the universe... the
wise voice of The Daughter of the Earth... the shine in the eyes of his
mates... that friend who was the same man who owned his heart... the first cry
of the little king! So much unnecessary cold, so much abandonment! The winds
that were merciless with his defenselessness later became storm; and a night in
September the city was tormented with the same cruelty. Whipped by devils, the clouds
showered their falls of wrath, while the arms of the storm swept the city like enraged titans, taking souls and properties. The king, whom the gale had surprised in
the safety of his room, believed he was going crazy. Each bite of the wind to the trees he
felt it like a sting in the helpless and poorly dressed flesh of his mates.
He felt the danger that they could be drowned in a sea of uprooting trees and a
river of mud and flooded lands; and not being able to stay still, he ran
delirious down impassable streets, about to lose his reason and his life. He
never found them, but he never knew that they were always sheltered. The next
day the battle returned with all its fury, but the soldier was closer to surrender.
Because after the night that had just died, a new gust of wind would have been
enough and October would have arrived before October. It was increasingly more
difficult to accept that he could keep living like that, feeling the blood of the children of the street in his flesh. But he was unaware that the weavers of
time had foreseen that the exile would be a short transition; he did not know that
autumn had come out searching for him and that, after much looking around, found his
silhouette of beggar behind a window, his elbows on the sill, scanning the same
horizon of grey roofs and dirty chimneys which he had tried to cross uselessly
in the last sixty days, his look watching, nostalgic and lost, the direction of
the east.
October 4. Boom...
boom... boom! Open up with a salvo of cannon shots as praise to the day of
the king, at the time when his strides would resonate with epic to shake the
surface and make the Earth quake. Boom... boom... boom! It is also the rhythm
of an overwhelmed heart, the sound of a few frantic beats: those of a mate who
was honored to go out with him. The story that remains to be told could begin to be
written thus: from the penultimate awakening of the king on his bed of
prosperity to the miserable hut of the hungry night... Once upon a time there
was a beggar who was born in a golden cradle; a King Beggar, who poisoned with liquid
and gold, on his lips the bitterness of the unbearable absence, caught his cradle
and put it on his shoulders; He undressed it of sheets, nightmares and
lullabies... and broke it with fury down the hollow.
October 4!
The latest stars were setting and dawn heated up at its bakery; and the king, in
order to bite it, asked for it to be baked as a brioche, and while he swallowed it
with his coffee, he tasted the cold of that quiet hour. He could not know that next
dawn would find him ragged and frosted, or that the heat of that coffee, the food
and bread, would be the last ones in wealth; and that his stomach would claim it.
Boom... boom... boom! Let it resound like a volley of lights in the sky; let it be
the beatings of a shooting heart. Because that day, however, had been prepared so
that the king could conquer the dream of his ambition and he would be proclaimed
sovereign among the raiders; and they had filled the stairs of the
throne with carpets, but he who was a beggar hesitated to go up. He knew that one foot on a
higher step and it would no longer be easy for him to get down; two steps,
three steps, and he would see the orbits without flesh of the skull of ruin;
four steps, five, six... the outrageous staircase! And that servile wind that
inhabits the top would be spitting him contempt. The solitude, the vertigo of heights, the fatigue! And if with his own feet he ended up sitting under
the canopy, it would be his very voice which would return him the worst of names:
betrayal. He knew that if he took what they called winning, he would lose. For this
reason he never accepted that it were insanity the cry of his reason that encouraged
him to give up. The first angel brought the temptation of fortune on his wings,
but with all his beauty he was... passing by; the king was not decided and an
ancient fate, remote as the morning twilight, looked at him.
The long
exile road ended in a curve; because the last avenues of fate turned into the
dark alleys of calamity or victory, and the time had come. Near one of its
threads and suddenly in front of him, the dirty figure of The Tree-Beggar met
him, facing him the ragged hand of destitution to the soapy face of ambition,
in the dawn that cannot be put off of recognition or contempt. The king, who
saw that he had been seen, looked at the beggar and was shot with arrows, and
was, during a single endless second, a prisoner of three uncertainties: he knew
that if he advanced a step towards his eyes and he was received with hostility,
his strength would crack; but discovering that the archer fired him, actually,
with a smile, he moved his feet forward. If he advanced the next step towards
his hands and when shaking them dirt would take him, he would no longer put them on the gold
of that infamous stairway they laid him. But understanding that if he didn’t, he
would have to break his mirrors so as not to watch himself disfigured; unconcerned
that behind him still awaited an answer the angel of wealth (and ignoring then that
the ears of the beggar had been reached by the words with which he was
tempted), he embraced without hesitation the glimpsed misery and misfortune
that the future could hide him; and advanced. And if he continued, and gave the
final step towards the beloved heart that returned he would be exposed to the severities
of anger or enmity of he who now opened it for him; for being undeniable that
before any of the seven he would have remembered the predicted words, the
challenge of recognition was, among all his mates, the most dangerous;
and getting rid of everything could be only the first loss, because after having nothing he would lose the most valuable things. And, however, he knew
he was a beggar and no longer had any more doubts; and though he should know
that Shame is permitted to beggars, he chose to disregard it, and in the
street, and with the astonishment of the angel of temptation, he poured his
blood on that dirty man exposing his begging before the eyes of the world; and then
his feet were not enough to run towards the air he brought from his homeland,
and he became arms to surround him and sunlight to illuminate; and at last,
transfigured into a grin, betraying the pride he felt, inevitably, of being of
the same flesh of those he loved most, he finally knew him. And that way, the
loyalty that he gave with love, with love was returned him:-Hail, my king. Welcome be
the breeze that has brought you back! Hail, My Beggar and My Lord, your home is
waiting for you! And you will find that the windows, those of the people of the
house, are all open. For if we were of your root the depth and of your trunk the
sap, how did you start thinking that in the time when you would be tested you would
faint? The faith of those who had faith in you was unshaken because you had
allowed us to touch your heart, my Lord, and we understood that at the end of
your latest crossroads, you would remember Hunger, the teacher, and in order to
avoid death by starvation, you would lend us your hand. Hail, Beggar of Quake,
congratulations! You returned in time and willing to be fair, you chose to die for
us. Thou shalt know us, my king! Thou hast known us! And with this embrace of
friendship I want to cover your whole heart, with the beauty of the love you
feel, my Lord, with the pain that is burning you. For since once you had to leave
because of Shade, now you return flooded with the clarity with which the
evening has smiled, and the joy of the reunion has opened in your eyes the sun
of light.
The following
minutes wanted to perpetual, resplendent. The steps of both walkers met again;
friendship was a hug. The uttered words were an exchange of their hearts choked with
emotion, of hasty questions about everybody's health. Behind the king, a
forgotten angel. But he who returned, now an undefeated wrestler in rough
battles, showed again that he had become The Beggar who never Knew Shame; and
with the pride of one who shows his most precious treasures, he approached the
golden hands to the dirty hands and both the Tree-Beggar and the angel were introduced.
In the sweaty nights of delusions, with no books or lips that wanted to explain them
to him, he had come to assume the whole Wisdom which could be found in our
codes; and taking advantage of the peace of the seventh law, knowing that it
prevents the needy man from accepting the coins coming from a friend, he invited
his twin brother to eat. The air of that first temptation went away like an unseen breeze and the angel turned away to his paradise, without anger. But the
golden staircase fell down and the steps would never again take him to the top.
Finally the king chose not to know ambition and descend the steps, to gain some
height.
Two hungry
beggars sat down together to eat; and they watched each other avidly as you
look at the blood of the sunsets in a debauchery of vampires, desiring a different
heart to satiate. To make his heart stabler inside his chest, to
immortalize it together with the figures which were already in and make a radiant
shared landscape, to hold the painting on the wall, the king spoke about nails.
The learning of his identity had come as a tongue of light that does not
destroy, as sculptress flames, and it was the time to be the one he was, to explain
himself before the eyes that were looking at him like allies on the other side
of the table. In those crystal water the thirsty image of the King Beggar was
reflected; and the language of his own mirrors was a pebble thrown to the
watercolour of the other heart, whose waves stroked a second the surface and
spread. Boom... Boom... Boom! A shooting of arrows to an overwhelmed heart,
nails. And meanwhile his dried lips made the inventory of his misfortunes; and
he began to tell of absences and deserts, of empty shadows on his window, of the
wind that did not take the voices close, of feelings of insanity and treason,
of hunger in opulence, of his longing for the sporadic cold in August, of his
icy sheets. But when he realized that recreating his fate was now in his
hands, he looked at the street as a wise man who smells the damp air and foresees
the sea beyond the horizon and undresses so that finally the fish and the salt can
soak him, the fertile sand of poor lands, the water of taking what they call
losing, victory. He had to explore it thoroughly, learn its secrets slowly,
gently surrender to the love rhythm of it which could be the desired one, which
rises at daybreak and has a moon roof, the seductive and the infamous, the mother
and the whore, the icy blanket in the eye of the bridge, misery. And as he
spoke and did not eat, his feet which were determined to walk its streets already seemed
placed in that mud. He longed to jump and sink the basins of his hands in that
clay, to sculpt himself again, to exist starting from the beginning; because
although jumping into emptiness wasn't going to change the landscape of his
mates, he knew that going deep into the barren earth was the only way to
survive the figures of hunger on the screen, the nightmare of the weather
forecast; and Dirt and Scarcity were welcome in exchange for the death of an
absence, the inevitable price of loyalty; but it does not protest he who agrees
or does he curse helplessness if it is a part of the shared heritage. At his
side, The Dirty Beggar answered and stimulated him, but he knew that now more
than ever he should keep his dumbness, for he was with a man that was the old infinite
picture of a beggar beside Verôme; and one who already spoke with him should
not meddle in that conversation, scheduled so that the new learners
and the spirits of the universe should talk alone. –I ask you to excuse me, my king, for it was
not yet the moment of removing the gag from my mouth! But, through the thin
fabric, from my throat escaped winds to encourage you. For if I could not bring
the balm to the open wound in your heart, because as long as you bleed, my
Lord, you would be experiencing passions, and that day you were going to need
every heartbeat... At least I could illuminate the path stones to help you in
stability and balance, so that you could watch the ground, thus illuminated,
whereby the beggars that came before you had traveled, and to assure you that no
one was forcing you to dodge the stones and move forward; if it is true that you
decided to walk to where your weary legs led you, you had the choice of
continuing the road or stop, if you wanted, to sleep in any bridge, as well as
slow down your progress or advance; because the street is a wired road of thorns
with travelers back and forth that both can progress with variable fortune and go
on a pilgrimage to the limit of their strength... and often burst. And your
decision, whatever it was, was as worthy as that of those who came before. A
road may be the same, however, and be rewritten at every step of every new
traveller and who can say that the straight line is not sometimes the shortest
distance between two commas? Remember, my king, that in our path the shadow never appeared which in your path hid the street with its jaundiced malevolence and,
yet, your feet never faltered, my Lord, when the time came to crossing the
threshold of this dark path, whose route, you knew it, could be irrevocable. Boom...
boom... boom! Every word you addressed me was a spear and every reason a nail;
my heart had been shot and was dissolved in your watercolor, my king, and my
blood in yours.
The untouched
dishes were getting cold because hunger was busy in other things. The passion of the
words they said ignited, silences were on fire. And every word they said to
each other was a new trunk thrown into the flames. In this haven where glances
hurt as the western slope hurts the stars, the skin was the only border; but
the voices were the common homeland and sounded like mud. It was the afternoon of
the beautiful names. So much they loved each other that, careless for a second,
they were abandoned to need and called themselves beggar; and that was
another nail to be together in the landscape, it was a new volley of lightning;
and as it could not be otherwise, he who was both a beggar and a tree was
reached and began to burn. Afternoon of the beautiful names!: not in vain it
was then when he heard that his smell was wood, a scent of nearby forest. -Oh,
my king. And how not being surprised that my hectic beats awaited their turn to
inflame, if Tree-Beggar was also a given name, a gift from you? My words I left
them crackling in my throat and to not be consumed they burst. And at the end
they had to bring you to the memory of the lights which you had left scattered, my
Lord, before your departure; and how your speech had become rain over the
furrows, a seed of respect that moved the drift and rescued us. Thus, The Daughter
of the Earth was called a woman again, a figure of veneration that was
consulted, known as she had always been known, ancient as the Earth her father,
just as great and as fruitful; and the man of the sacred couple was no longer considered an
idolater at the time that, slowly, the bitter hangover of his somber silhouette
of a child dissipated and no longer clouded the light of almost all eyes. His mates felt the discharge that disintegrated the cloud that covered them
and turned to look at us, and we were again a female and a male; and also rediscovered
as parents, we were redeemed of the sin of having a child in misery; they then
approached the little king with a new tenderness, and everything was a bunch of
kisses to kiss him goodnight and a garland of arms to cradle him. And although
the days ran toward the equinox and grass dried, there was the smell of the
beautiful flowers that you left behind one remote day, my king, when you
believed that you touched ruin with the closed door of the heart of a
friend, for whom, paradoxically, the faith that your warm friendship left
behind had been more healing than the hands of time, indolent and useless.
That’s why Algieba and Denebola needed you, my Lord, and waited for Zosma, of the
timid light, to resemble something more than the skeleton of an inverted number
two looking west.
Already back
in the miserable time of eclipses, your chin moved forward towards the new
station of fate, return was for the king the only perspective. But it is not
possible to come to that bridge and not to be afraid to cross it when suddenly the doubt
arises whether all waters have a shore, whether from the fountain in
its cavity to the ocean in its continent it might be true that all the channels
of life end in a border; or if, on the other hand, the bridge might not end as
an appendix over the abyss, if the goal is no other than getting exhausted in
an eternal swim in a pond with no end. But when the king realised that winning
and losing were predicted on the route, he went, on a shore pain, in the
opposite shore Shade, to dive into his horizon. -Never has to dodge the water,
my king, he who looks at it with thirst. He must not fear contempt who has
weighed his dignity in the heart he is offering. Never, never again, my Lord, you
have to apologize for loving me! Welcome to the future, my king, life awaits
you. Autumn perhaps... perhaps the harvest time. But yours is the property of
the furrows, your part in our land! And a beggar I name you, my Lord, wherever you
spend your days. To embed in our wood it is only necessary to long for the nails
and have them. And I am sorry if I neglect the lamb, my king, but in you I can find the
bread that I need. Do not fear misunderstanding, my Lord, because you can't
explain these days you have to swim, necessarily, from one shore to the other: you
can unconcernedly drink the last rays of your Star because in the setting of
the stars you return to sleep in our mud. If a beggar is in the end he who nods
naked in the rags of the river, it is also he who drops his clothes when he
does no longer need them. That’s why nobody will steal your name now, my Lord,
because your heart asks you to earn the light and work to get some bread, and the
house radiates dignity through the stained-glass window that you have brought
us, the latest of your gifts.
The king did
not want his return to the homeland to last the same time as the west. He had
sunk his roots in the alder grove by the river and could only return by seeking
his own space between the sheet and the earth. And he now couldn’t stand the
privilege of a loaf of bread that he had not earned, or participate in the
common dinner without providing his own bread from the street. And seeing a single
future, he decided to leave his steps wandering up to the road. But he
preferred to do so without the aid of expert hands that guided him, letting his
pristine feelings rectify or confirm his intuitions, allowing emotion, whatever
it was, to surface without hindrance to help him measure his strength, finally
determined to find his place among the innumerable particles that pierce the
bodies of the world. Thus, woven in Recognition of Acceptance his immutable
will, he understood that it was the time to be understood without adding
anything unnecessary, and only required the help of the shivering eyes that
were looking at him. -Follow them then, my king, if that is your wish; and come
with me to the window. Are you able to distinguish the lines of a threshold, a
dusty path?: there in the background, beyond, where sidewalks end. Here walks
every morning an army of shadows. For centuries we've had this bustle of lacerated feet, of
backs which can hardly bear their burden, but the night that comes and does not defeat
them dies without observing that they have bowed. Daybreak will see them again,
the same endless caravan, and passers-by will have declines and new dawns.
There is no freedom without pain, my Lord, but what am I going to tell you? If in
the fleeting vision of their nudity there is nothing which could frighten you, pick
up your knapsack and continue forward; you will not be lost in this labyrinth,
but just in case, let me explain to you whatever it is necessary: sometimes it is the
morning that gives its currency, sometimes the afternoon which turns its face in
order not to look at us, and there are days of exhaustion when it is necessary
to sweat the morning and swallow the dust of the evening until the last lights;
most people walk it alone, but there are those who prefer to rely on the
society of the partner, in the encouragement of the mate. This is the face of
the loving one, which feeds us; the same abjurer, my king, who will then
require the effort and the sweat of those who love and devote themselves to the loved one; but
if you still want to know it, if your decision is firm, it is not necessary to
go alone. Let me accompany you anywhere the street takes you. There is a single
time to be born, my Lord, and life is urgent. They went out of there... a
figure of a novice before mystery and a silhouette of moved devil, hand in
hand towards sunset; and the chairs they sat on will testify that the food was never touched. They had the voracious jaws of werewolves and they were
vampires; and who could have said that in the time of the banquet they would prefer
to reject meat by devouring their hearts. And they were satiated.
How could the
King Beggar not fear a cold welcome if he had always suspected that his
mates had lived, divided between trust and suspicion, the hollow of an absence
which had lasted for sixty days? And, however, it should be assumed that in the night slumber
they would remember the integrity of a man who was with them among the flames,
whose odor was also of earth and bonfire, who looked hungry to the viewpoint out
in the open to be astonished at the same stars. So if ever faith wavered,
memory, most incorruptible, had done him justice; but his name was always uttered with a shudder. So you can forgive them if doubts obscured the Commotion
left, because they loved you so much that the day of your departure they all
spent in cursing, heck!, that cold that when you got away the folds of your
shadow emitted; so much they loved you that in the first twilight without your presence
at the bonfire... two men wept. Thus it came to happen that the woes of a beggar suddenly wounded
the veil of night, whose tears, luminous, betrayed that he
thought he had lost the king, since he was the only one who knew better that his
eighth mate had gone into exile and was not going to return; and everyone
was moved by the explosion of the second, who, when crying, had no shame to
allow his selective heart to show who he had chosen to cry for. But that’s also
why The Tree-Beggar, who had just seen how the king spilled his blood onto a
tray of fullness that had not been touched, had to use a ploy so that nothing
of that was forgotten, and thus leveling for him the steep slope, change
the stones into a carpet where he was received with the dignity he had
earned. It was expected that his beloved face emerged at any moment by the arid
hill, and when afternoon turned the first bend, at last they saw him climb with
difficulty - the print of the first basilisk in its lameness, facing everywhere
as if he still expected new bites and he had come determined to receive them,
because they clung in the deep and made him no evil. And however strong the
fears written in his nervous breathing, his doubts softened with the desire to
kiss the ground. His homeland dazzled! How beautiful the new hues were with
which autumn dressed it! He stopped a second to watch its walls and finally he saw
them: the beggars from inside, those who had tilled his new furrows and in his dark
night had come to him with lamps; and then he saw them as lights of the Earth, beacons
that a world in darkness disdains for the fear of approaching the cliff, sentry keepers, guardians of the last clarity, shy fires; the beggars from inside, those
of his hunger and his north, those of the beloved names... there they all were.
And it didn't matter that their mirrors were wet as he watched their figures of
dignity and saw them coming towards him with smiles in the windows, with the
bonfire and the river for a welcome; and overwhelmed he sighed: so he remembered
his home! He had returned! Looking for a spring in their eyes, he read in the knowing
flash of The Dirty Beggar that the hour
was come to open the presents; and it had confirmation on the wise nod of the
Lady of Shade, entrusting him again the custody of Liberty, the blue of the eight
flames; The Beggar Master brought him the vessel of prudence, but by his side
was the man of his life, The Luminous Beggar, who filled it with shaken water,
so that the king knew that the clarity that he had left behind had refracted as
the light waves in the last fluid of the afternoon, while the secret continued
hidden; then came The Servant of the Wind with a branch of the sobs of ancient virgin-goddesses
who grieve for their children, and the king got the impression that he
had been touched again by some beautiful woman-tree and that there were still
unknown essences that continued calling him to wonder; when he saw The Selective
Sharer appear, The King Beggar came to him to embrace him, and a noble gentleman,
started to cry and broke down, moved by the fidelity that the tears of his
mate were still showing; but the other gentleman also cried, perhaps because to
him that had taught him to swim he wished to offer a river. There came with the
crystals of dawn The Daughter of the Earth and the king felt that he could
already say that she had brought him what is hidden on the underside of a star;
and he cried because he felt that she knew that that evening he had just triumphed
and everything happened just as she had predicted. The beggar woman then reminded
him that if a heart is only tested once, thereafter he should not doubt of the
beauty with which it was beating. You can well see that the absence was not stronger
than they were and they still liked and loved each other; but he did not know
that for either of them, love, that beggar, was maybe stretching then under
some bridge, attentive to the first clarity, to go to the road. After the warm
tears that welcomed him, the King Beggar felt he had recovered his place in
harmony, and all of them felt that dignity was written again with eight letters. They sat in order
to exchange the inconsequential news and the great pains of the sixty days, and
upon contact with the ground he took root again. But why did the king suddenly have
that feeling that the light of the afternoon did not have one wheat ear? Until
at last they brought him to his side. At last the little king! How little he
still was in his two months! He was crying as he had done in his eight weeks of
life, as if he were still lacking the exhalation of earth of a heart that once had
cradled him among beautiful words - because maybe it will never be known which
of the two kings had felt the separation most- but suddenly he must have
touched the happiness that he should no longer have any fears and calmed; and
finally he fell asleep in the cradle of his arms. The King Beggar began beating at the rhythm of Regulus' heart and exhausted, he cried. The tenderness
of the time and the infinite beauty of the moment did not hide the clouds
threatening to downpour all their somber terror on his new conquests, and he was
aware of how much he could lose. But since there was only a path forward, and
even if it was a path of pains, nothing could make him change his mind. And in order to
follow his road, he walked away looking for a roof that could separate his bed from the
tremor of the icy moon, and a cloth to put on his sheet of weed. And finding at
last a miserable pillow and very poor housing, with his own hands he built a cradle,
a cradle without gold, one of ornaments of earth and a body of wood where he
could snooze the childhood of his new nights, under the blanket of an old sheep
skin, on one side Liberty and on the other side the beggars of the beloved names,
in the permanent, intimate contact, of the fertile soil of his homeland.
−Excuse me, Nike, but sometimes it happens to me that
suddenly... I don't know how to continue.
−Never mind, Luke, those things happen. But since I will
not believe that you have lost the bundle of beautiful words, I understand
that you are undecided as to how you have to take the next steps. I don't know
if a little light, without metaphor, might help you to know how to continue: I
was waiting for a pause to ask you if you want a cigarette. Recently I remembered
that I have tobacco this evening, at least for a few hours.
−It would not be bad to smoke one now... thanks, Nike.
But wait... don’t put out your lighter yet, let it enlighten us half a minute
more... Yes, at last the light of your eyes in this murkiness, My Mate! I am
glad to see that they are losing the red of bitterness and that your river
carries less water. Sorry to not be able to still depart from the poor poetry
of my words, but I won't apologize, because I know that you will not demand an apology from me. As for my indecision... it could be said that all story tellers arrive to perplexity once, or to that uncertainty of having to think which right he has
to go on with the fable if he senses that the consequence can be a tidal
wave in the heart of his listener. And although he has been saying it
throughout the whole story, it remains an impasse, My Beggar, because if he
continues, the man who listens to him can think that he is being influenced in
a particular direction; and that wouldn't be fair, because certain decisions
can only be personal and well meditated. But the narrator is also confronted
with the agonizing doubt of not knowing whether he has the right not to tell the
valuable information he has, being aware that a king who must choose a path,
regardless of which, can never select it in complete freedom if they hide him
what he is going to find in each branch of a certain crossroads. And somehow we
must let him know that the beggars who most he has loved have not been or will
ever be an obstacle in any way, so that, starting from there, any destination
chosen is just in his hands. But if the fable goes on and the narrator gives
voice again to a man who is longing for narrating his shocks when he
accompanied the King Beggar on his first day on the street, what words will be
of use for, without pushing him to any sidewalk, telling what then he could not
explain? I don't know if you understand, Nike, but at this critical moment, it
is very difficult to interpret what the right direction is.
−I will try to help you, My Beggar. Not in vain I've
been attentive to every word and could remember the intuitive force that some
of them have... these ones, for example: "Finally the king preferred not
to know ambition and descend the steps." How can the story teller know
that, Luke? How can he be sure he has rejected forever that infamous stairway
and he will not have again the golden temptation and wants to climb it again?
−He cannot know, Nike, that’s why the narrator is only
almost omniscient.
−But the story teller knows, Luke, you have read the
entire book of the king, both the written and the hidden lines. I don't know
the end of your fable, but if I may go forward and guess what might happen, I
would think that the story teller and The Beggar of the Golden Cradle end up meeting
on a night in which eyes are no good and they have to learn to read with their
fingers, as the blind people, with the sense of touch in their beats; and this is how the
former must have certainly perceived that the one he calls king had already
taken a decision before he found him and heard his story, and that’s why the narrator
has deciphered the feelings with the security with which he distinguishes among
all sounds the urgent call of the Earth. Every storyteller, Luke, should have
the right to illuminate the path stones to aid in stability and balance; and
that's what you've been doing, nothing more; the storyteller cannot decide for
the eighth beggar, but no one should deny him his freedom to be a lighthouse
watching. I understand your scruples, My Mate, but you can go ahead: the king
no longer fears to get closer to the cliff.
−You have illuminated me again, and I don't know how
many times they have been, My Beggar. Very well: you can put out your lighter;
I will continue in the dark and if necessary, I will learn to read with my
fingers. Thanks Nike!
When the evening
without fog was already in a hurry to dress the hat of the night, and the full
moon fit without permission as a feather, the pupils of the Tree-Beggar and those
of the king converged finally in the same radius; and in that voltage they understood
each other and from that light came the sign they had agreed to stand up.
Beside him were his mates, who had been trained in the secret, who opened a
way for them and did not say anything. Upright on the quagmire of the hill like a
fighter before the acre horizon of a battle, the King Beggar deciphered of
the afternoon the signals: the heavy atmosphere heralded its onslaught of black
bull; the moisture advertised the birth of clouds for 10 o’clock. The new pupil
of Verôme moved his forehead forward, examined for the last time the causes to
open the window of the consequences and walked towards them undaunted and
serene, as the lover in the preamble of the sheets, without stridency. The
light gave him full in the face, his trembling face that of the hero in a classical tragedy,
his hands training for the indignity, his feet for exhaustion, his teeth for a
meal that would not have the taste of that of every day; but he has preserved
Beauty in his eyes so that when they pointed to his mate they crackled, and so,
perhaps preferring to overwhelm so as not to break, without hurting it, hardly
touched him, hardly bit him. Both beggars went finally down the slope and lumps
in their throats, the first words were born and trembled without producing any
sound, diluted as autumn sugar in the vibrant mist of the streets. The Tree-Beggar
kept silence to help the king in his initiation, to help the milestones of his
experience not to be put before his eyes as a handkerchief that prevents letting
them open and free; and that’s why he chose, instead, to accompany him with the
staff of the riddles and the trivial words, delicate like the whisper of a lullaby,
which seems to be heard again: − Oh, my king, once upon a time there was the
story of two men in a solemn evening in October. Follow them with me and look
at them now in the distance, affectionately! Do they not seem to be turning
towards the same vortex, towards the same border? Let's see if you with me can
be a torch to illuminate them. But don't be surprised if its light falters one
episode after another, because once again I will have to take you one shock
after another. And the tongue I had to bite will talk through its ulcers to say
the things that could not be said then. Two men in a solemn evening in
October!: a tree-man, on the edge of the nakedness with which soon autumn would
scare him, sought the leaves to dress in spring and had them by his side, on
the dignity of the mate who tread the stones like needles of the road to
Calvary, and walked determined to meet his reconstruction, the mother; misery,
the whore, on the porch of the fourteen stations that would have his via crucis:
Many streets
are called nowhere. They are, like the beloved body which you have for the
first time, reward and labyrinth. The King Beggar toured them filling the new
maps of x, untangling them. He trusted the imperfect guide of his mate, but he
was learning the dirty cobblestones and the streetlamps, here a corner with a
filthy, ramshackle bow; there an old oaken door surprising with some knives mark; memorizing the cracks of the poor city while his feet got used to soot
and walking. He hoped he could soon reach some evident place to be what he had come to be.
He has already been called The Beggar of Quake. And he has not been
inadvertently named thus; because that was another name he earned that afternoon.
Because they had only advanced the time steam needs to cover a mirror when
intuition told him that in a couple of streets he would be somewhere very far
away from the commotion of the world; he stopped suddenly, rebelling at the
suspicion that his mate was trying to take him away from the crowd, and a
shocking appeal shone in his eloquent eyes: for God's sake, don't try to spare me anything! And mainly, do not rescue
me from shame! Let it be, My Beggar, and let me swallow the honey with the
thorns! I'm not the first, nor will be the last that has had to learn it; and
all of you have already been here. −But how to explain, my king, you can
err without unforgivable malice? Because here November brought me from the hand
of The Daughter of Earth, plotting, perhaps, so that the inevitable shock
reached me as to the life of the man his snows, slowly and without disorder.
And I didn't intend to take you away from the estuaries of the River, My Beggar,
my Lord; perhaps I wanted to teach you how to wade them so that later you were
prepared before the impending uneasiness of the cascade where we were headed.
Slowly, my king, I just tried that your apprenticeship walked through shifting
lands slowly, gently along the line which you had intended, your own
resolution which moved you from unwanted return, which you could not stand
but which never, my Lord, would have been a failure. But the devil doesn’t know
that there are many exhausted souls that he cannot buy, because there are beings
that follow pain and find in it a compass and victory; and you moved through
that maze hand in hand with painful truths; and with that Ariadne, you always found
the way out−. Two beggars corrected their course to tempt the alms from the
rich river. A sacred place was there that was accessible to the devotee by
an exaggeration of steps, because there where there is a temple there must be a
staircase, in which the contemplation of the excluded people outside is a thanksgiving
for those who come in peace with their God, fervent of compassion, distance and
height. The ceremony had begun and the steps were crowded of begging hands.
The king understood that the beginner must look for a place between the
residues that the initiate have left him and moved away from the staircase. A
few more steps until they looked askance the western windows and the Tree-Beggar
and the King Beggar, last in the row of indigence, sat on the floor. −We were then
at that point, my Lord, where if ever you regretted having come, we could return
but you could never get rid of the reality of your own snapshot, sitting on the
threshold of nowhere. And if those thoughts haunted you, you always clung to
the image that your seven mates had gone through each of these
indignities; and that memory was all the time your bread and your stained glass
window. This city has no cathedral, my king, but it does not lack any altars−.
The evening languished, but the light that was faltering could find its
skylights.
Feet had
fulfilled their mission and handed over the baton to hands, those members which
disturb you when you outstretch them for charity because they acquire a
skill which, however, can only be exercised with a blushing face and a heavy
heart; that maybe lead to a long downward slope where they have possibly found
ruin and degradation, but always need. The Tree-Beggar would not have been
able to explain to the king how it torments to open them, accompanied by a
plea and a plangent gesture, wherever thay can find some eyes that can see them, to beg
for the currency that the lady or the lord may be willing to give, to thank later
the ungrateful transaction; but he could instruct him about the opening and the
inclination, about how to raise your forearm about thirty degrees and place it in
a way that it draws in the air a hemisphere opened in the equator, fingers
pointing at the sky, at the mercy of those who pass and observe from their elevated
position. The king had no doubts that the desired name of beggar can’t be won
unless they bleed through the stretch marks, and making a hemisphere of his
right hand, he prepared his blisters and his furrows to become worthy of a few
rags, of the poor soup of dinner with the price, he imagined, of dishonor and
shame. The man he loved was moved by his side watching the fierce resolution and
the impulse that moved him to aspire to become story of the legend of the
seven; to throw as ballast comfort, good food and clean clothing, blessing
with no protest misfortune and indignities, deep in a chilling silence with
which he showed meditation of the soul and harmony. He had been taken there by
the rich rivers of friendship and beauty; and although in the eight roads
sometimes love intended to have had its importance, vain is its glory, because
the King Beggar did not come to the street out of love either. −My hand is a river
basin, my Lord, of the valley where your tributaries come to die. And raised
next to yours is a tremor, ignorant of how I can give you back your dignity and
express to you my loyalty and my respect. Because if so close to my side you can
hear the heart you yearn trembling; If you can feel me but today I'm only your mate,
how can I not be stuck to your senses by the needles of your limpid eyes, which
want to know whether my eyes watch them approving your worthy walking? Those
crossbows also reflect that you forgot desire, but why cannot friendship come
with desire? The moons of your transparent traitor made me know that you had
decided that day you should educate yourself about hunger, because that day love
didn’t matter, it was not the important thing. And so, my hand next to your
hand was the emblem that I was also begging, that I was also needed; the
currency would fall, the indignity would be the shared fruit; and it would be
for you the communion with begging and its fright; and for me the commitment
to put my hand over your hand to comfort you and assure you the approval of the
Earth; and the evening would not die without it being written for me also the
law which must urge me to accommodate one day, my king, my hands between your
hands.
The first
coin always hurts like a burn, for it burns your knuckles and your palm and it erodes
the reliefs; and the weight of the fall makes fingers lean as in a
humiliating sign of bow. The beggar who had been eleven months on the street,
also a novice and still sometimes an undisciplined student, was burned by the
first ones and continued to be burned by the recent ones. That October 4 the
first alms fell on his hand, while the two beggars were reached by a muffled echo of the murmurs from the temple and the distant notes of a sermon
which was an indoctrination on the virtue of charity, o you sons of God-Fate, help
your brothers who have not become beloved in the eyes of the father!; and the king
−before thinking of his own sustenance, scorning the hunger which in that hour
was already beginning to take possession of his weak senses−, looked at the man
who was on his left with hope drawn on his face, with the joy that his mate could start the
amoount necessary to earn the bread that could feed his son and his wife that night.
– They were always in your mind, my king, you Beggar of the Quake of the Earth, at every
moment of that day in your thoughts! And in the extraordinary afternoon, which
was already evening, there were no shadows for the man who watched which could
not be reached by a flame of your beacons, my Lord−. The cold that they would eat at
dinner began to be perceptible and the east was already a mauve blanket when as
a burn the first coin fell on the hand of the king. Within seconds, in the
chill of the eternally inevitable, surely he should be thinking how his
silhouette would be seen in the reflection, with what expressions he would be
portrayed, in the pupils of the person who was walking by, who in the initial
chapter of his new story was a woman, a woman of an unassuming demeanour who came
from the street and did not come from the temple. He looked at her slowly and
reverent with the aim to record her physiognomy, because he knew as if he had been for years
in the trade that the face of the first alms giver leaves a scar on your memory
and a big tear in your soul. But if that lady could have developed the
photograph of the beggar in her eyes, she would have observed only gratitude
and assent, and a respect which she, as freely as she had decided to give the
currency, seemed to return. The King Beggar had a traitor so that they were not
lost in space any of the stamens of his beauty, and so he betrayed, in the
minute of breaking with his past and his distant dreams, the security that
there would be no place for grief but just the satisfaction of being finally
where he wanted. − When, my Lord, do you have to say that this which you can
perceive is no longer the afternoon and this is the shadow announcing certainly
that here begins the night? On what day and what hour the teenager ends and emerges
the man? Enigmas that maybe you could not decrypt if you didn’t give existence
to the transition, to the border; but it is necessary to establish arbitrarily
a point for the subsequent reality. And if you still wondered, my King, how
many stages would be necessary for the word beggar to be as part of you as your
surname, the last occurrence wouldn't leave any doubt of your jump to the hour
of later, to our country; and starting from there your opinions on the street
would be from then on as respectable as ours−. So the man who began his life as a king
had confirmed the fate of the prophets and was already called a beggar. But if
when misery reaches, you know how to get the feathers of beauty, then the gifts
never come alone; and that’s why that October evening was the evening of the
beautiful names. The beggar who was by his side could have uttered it before
for him, but he kept it like a caress for the wonderful moment when everything
was accomplished. But finally he gave it to him: My Mate, his new vocative; and
he thanked him and made honor, the rest of the night, to the given name. –And when
with your shaken voice, after a few minutes, my king, you gifted me with the
same word, my walls vibrated from the foundations, and I trembled as if I had
always lived without identity and finally I knew who I was: such is the force,
and thus pierce the perception of reality, of the name and the words−. The King
Beggar was feeling the death of his transit on exile without crosses but with
nails, and in the eternity of three minutes he had been pierced by the burning
needles of a coin and a name, which fell and left their marks, like two burns.
In the
exhausting minutes of the street fingers hurt and the endless waiting makes you tired. My
Mate the king feared to show fatigue when he had barely begun and lived the
hours with the suspicion that at any time he could reach indignity, and did
not know that this is no disgrace but a skin cover of the beggar just as sweat
or rags. And he still did not know that very afternoon he had shown himself as
unworthy as he was a human; but his small transgression will be revealed at the
slow development of the chronological order. The ceremony had finished and the
first faithful people descended comforted the steps. The beggars of the
staircase could verify, perhaps, on the surface of their open hands, if the
charity preached was thereafter practiced, if it made the devotees feel that
they could rise above the ground, thus postponing the joy of receiving the divine
word; but the beggars below did not get a single crumb. The last breaths of the
afternoon presaged that the night would be long and sterile and cold would not
invite people to gather in the vicinity of the temple, a wide square crossed by
the river. The King Beggar learned how alike they were the one who gave alms
and he who did not want to give it because both gave you their morals and their
advice; and by the same procedure just as often their wrath and scorn. They
came to reprimand them for that which they understood as idleness and laziness, and
it may believed that the homeless had found a perfect formula to continue
living idle without having to go to work every morning. And that was said by
those who best should know that everything in life has its price; those who
never knew, on the other hand, the dignity of the poor, at which cost redemption or freedom are purchased. The eighth beggar was learning; he started to
learn of social classes and the proportion that separates the sublime things of
tiny things; he was learning and remained silent, because it was not in his
hand to change that state of things. But anger surprised him. −This is an
expression of enmity that comes from centuries, my king. Since ancient times
they have dared to instruct us about the absurdity of our actions and omissions,
about the inconvenience of finding us suddenly on their way begging them a
piece of the cake of their prosperity. That very evening we were called rabble
and, always, slack people with no desire of transformation, the weak of spirit,
the parasites of the populace; and they still see us outside when they need us
so much, because they have always wanted us to be exactly where we are and they
have boasted of the distance they have travelled to differentiate themselves.
Whence, then, the black bird of anger, the fury of the privileged people? Their
anger might betray their displeasure because we remind them that man is an
unhappy and mortal being, and they feel the astonishment of so much working and after so much toil one day the Grim Reaper measures them equally, the certainty
that they are not so different. But their anger is not our anger. Ours is a
wrath of insubordination due to centuries of condemnation and customary
injustice, of those who lack everything until the sun bursts and we are not able
to see again its light at the corners of the east. You looked at me, my king,
noting the anger that covered my face as a cold sweat, and I saw how you
understood and got angry and almost apologized; but it could not be
that you apologized when you had shown me that you despised the risk of jumping
off the wheels around which the world turns; and you had moved to the side of those
of mud and deprivation, to stay, to live our outrage and our dangers; with
beauty when it came; and when it was the turn of the injustice of hunger,
with silence at times, sometimes with protest and wrath.
The people on
the other side were leaving the perfume of their distance and their insolence;
but the King Beggar, who had just known their stench, still had to sniff the
aura of the unknown people who live on this side of the trench. It came to happen
that down the staircase came a couple of beggars, husband and wife, old hands,
in the direction of the two mates. She was the most shocking image of misery, he
was one of vileness. In her you could see a cloudy mind and hematomas, in him
the marks of drink and violence; she was tender... and he was a son of a bitch.
−I knew them, my King, of other days of begging; and the same as you, it
was never necessary that anyone gave me any explanations; she made herself be loved,
and although he was a rat, I couldn't help his approach or hide my disgust for
the life he has given her. But I had to silence my mouth again to allow you
freedom to respond to this view of the flowers and insects that are also in the
street, your first contact, my Lord, with the beggars from outside. And I could
see how you were moved when you looked at her and you were eaten by the worms of
despair and impotence; and also how when you looked at him it came to you
unexpectedly, as a clicking sound, the nauseating reflex of the landscapes to
which you and I never arrived, but where we could have been: you in the time of
poisons, me in the time of violence. But you never doubted that there are
things that simply can’t be forgiven, that not all men have earned respect,
that mean people are in all trades; but you thought that living is a common
indignity and for her, who no longer any aid could reach, decided to hear her
troubles and bite your tongue. And in the end, my king, you were there where I had been before, for what else could we do? So many times I wondered if prior to
coming to this bright day, which you made a basilica of, you already suspected who
you were going to meet; but I figured that at least you imagined it, that when
you saw the beggars from outside you would find the same range of mirrors that you
could discover on the other side; and that you would be prepared to meet them
and blend in, perhaps because you had had time to look at them, to observe them,
from your painful balcony in exile, and you had already foreseen it. In what
was left of the night and the days after, the beggars from outside continued to
come. But it was me that was not prepared to see your way of seeking communion
with the tender ones and the scoundrels, in the middle of the hardened people and
the inexperienced, the sleepless and the bitter ones, the drinkers and the suicide victims,
the optimists and the misguided. And so the night shook me, My Mate, my king,
seeing how at the gates of your heart they were coming and lived; and gates
open wide, the beggars from outside were also entering.
The page of
the afternoon could only be read now with some difficulty and until that time
the harvest was poor; hardly any coins had fallen into the hat and the King Beggar began his difficult work of calculations with the small change: they would
need much more to put into their mouths a crust of bread or something and the gadfly
of hunger was already flying over as a scavenger with the unmistakable smell of
its victims. And it was then, with the first scratch on an empty stomach and
hurting with the absence in his saliva, when he saw that somebody was approaching, a
laggard of the temple - a male, vain and well dressed−, leaving him in the hand
the remedy for his need, the silver of the most valuable coin. But the traitor
was lost by this metal, and the one who gave it had poisoned it with derision.
And unexpectedly, at the time of vespers, the minute hand moved to mark with
blood: you are here because of your sins. The beggar who was starting looked up and
scrutinized the face of that individual, a scowling man with the eyes of a hawk
and hands of a predator, whose words had just whipped him with lie; and though
that afternoon he had already stood the arrows of wrath and humiliation he could
not stand, however, that stigma; and looking at the man with contempt, to him who
had just broken the most sacred precepts, he threw that coin away with fury, because
he wasn't there to redeem the sins of man. –And only you have to decide whether you can
forgive him, my Lord, because he knows not what he does. Woe to him who doesn't
think what he says and confuses the need of mortals with the choices of a
capricious God, created in the image and likeness of those of his kind. You
thought then about the eight, my king, and about the eighty million that in the
world we are; in the hazards that have moved us to walk along this wire; in the
bodies and souls that have made survival and fate of chance or cause, all
innocent, immaculate beings with nothing to expiate on the altar of ignorance.
You could not tolerate, My Beggar, my Lord, the fact that they stained our
beauty and our pain with the silt of the evil word that doesn't mean anything.
And you still believed that to throw away the damn coin, since there was hunger
and deprivation, could be indignity. But any beggar, and you already were, has
the right to be the master of his own judgment; and he who behaves according to
the dictates of his conscience, in addition, never errs, my Lord; and putting myself
in your shoes, when your teeth were already caressing food, it shook me your
decision to continue hungry, My Mate!, my king, to wash us all of that offense.
The sixth of
the negative signs was not invisibility, it had a secret name. −So far you had been learning, My Beggar, that he who does not want to watch us does not learn
to see us; that the spears of their eyes pass through our bodies as light passes, but without harming us (since it does not touch us), and continue towards
the horizon because in their course we have no place and we are not. We are invisible,
objects with weight in space, which do not give any reflection or shadow; signs
of the air, of what cannot be seen although you know that it is there; or signs
of the sun, because you look at it from afar and with caution, lest the near
fire blinds our pupils. But for men without faith what you can't see does not
exist and that which you do not want to exist is rejected; and the sixth gift
changes its name then−. An hour had passed when the King Beggar was thirsty and
walked away; but they did not give him any water in the first fountain. They
did not let him go through the door. −I still wonder, My Mate, whether I should not have stopped you then, talk to you of what you would find. But intuition told
me that you no longer needed my staff, that you preferred feeling your way,
risking losing balance and fall, without a guide which, in addition, you would have
reproached me. You were thirsty, my Lord, and they offered you instead the
hyssop soaked in vinegar with which you knew the secret name of invisibility:
Exclusion, the secret sign that is not taught in advance, that you only learn
after that blow in your stomach that leaves you breathless, the encounter with
reality when you suddenly understand that you are not allowed the entrance to
places that five minutes ago you could enter− However, the King Beggar seemed
to stand the blow and, without surrender, he tried his fortune in a second fountain,
where a good samaritan gave him to drink. He learned then the hard teaching
that though the universe does sometimes have a balance, it never had a point
of certainty. –Then you returned to me, my Lord, you looked at me and words
were not necessary; and from your lips came out just one syllable, which was
progressively taking you to wisdom; you nodded and I said no more, but the
subsequent silence came pregnant of words, where there flowed, tacit, the river
of bitter losses. You had assimilated Exclusion as the ruffian it was and you
did not know whether the rest of that day would not also steal you what little remained of the white
half of grey. But at last you sat silent in your figure of dignity, to continue
waiting and knowing, in your slow walk through passion.
When you put
a hat on the ground, you look forward to the fall of any substance that breaks
the disharmony of empty spaces; but that evening the elements were an
insignificant drizzle of cigarettes and a desert dryness of coins. The King
Beggar could not know of the rhythms of the street, of the countless days of
naked hands, and was concerned about the role that his presence might be playing in the failure. He had endured all the stingers, but time passed and he began
growing restive about his mate. He did not want either return or rest and,
however, for the first time, he had the temptation to abandon. –That was, my
Lord, your only indignity. But not because you wanted to leave. You had come
out, due to you own light, of Shade; the Cold you already lived with us was
turning frost in your fingers; you crossed Scarcity and Hunger with stoic
heroism; you had survived Exclusion, that deadly dagger; and before Dirt and Shame arrived,
you were almost annihilated by the paws of Temptation. But do not see, my king,
any reproach in my words, but one more time, a trembling gratitude. Because you
did so on my behalf. Because you wanted to leave so that my family could eat. I
read in your clear silence the fear that your look might be too refined and did
not invite confidence; and you felt embarrassed, thinking that I could reproach
you (and I never would have) that you wanted to leave, since you felt that
the only thing left to do was to move away from me so that with your absence sustenance could reach my family. Your mistake, My Mate, bit me as
strongly as your accurate steps had. It was indignity because you should never have
thought, my king, that I was going to admit you thought you were to blame; you
should never have believed that I would let you go if the reasons that drove
you out of there were not your exhaustion or a determined will to go back; for
you, my Lord, never for my own responsibilities, which I was not going to load on your
shoulders. And, however, my Lord, how beautiful once again the stanzas of your
heart! But if my face has also always hidden a traitor, in that hour that I
could utter no word, I had to make my traitor work so that, eloquent in
informing of my feelings, could transmit you telepathically, loud and clear, with
severity: stay where you are, my king, if you are determined that this is your place,
and may the night come and see us with whatever it brings; for whatever it is,
my wife, you and me will eat it together−. The eyes of my mate said,
challenging common fate, that he was not going to move from there. They had understood
each other once again without speaking, the man of the eleven months muted by
the strength of his mate, Beggar of the Quake of the Earth. The night
lazily opened its windows and, blue pebbles, let the stars get in.
It does not
look for his clothing correctly he who is suddenly pushed to the gallows of the
street. The King Beggar had dressed with the anxiety of not having found any
rags in his wardrobe, and it has already been said that as the evening was passing
he was wary of his refined look and he blamed the drought of coins that made it possible to still see the bottom of the hat. The restlessness about the hunger
of his mate almost made him abandon, but the discomfort should be working in
his machinery, boiling his fluids. Because in spite of his contact with the icy
ground, bordering on the humidity of the air, there came down his forehead, and
began to fall to his cheek, salt of his crystals, a drop of sweat. −Now that
grime, my Lord, was smearing your face, and soon the antics of time would stain
your clothes: the universe was rectified five minutes so that a little girl
came who was still in summer, so that a spot of ice cream dirtied your immaculate
shirt. Dirt is a scourge, my king, a reputed villain of our diminishing and our
dishonour; but you needed the rags: you knew that you were the man you already were, but you
wanted to resemble it. And you can see it now, My Mate: so far from finery
and ornament, and at this point in the endless day, what did you preserve now
of a king, my sovereign? The first drop of sweat was followed by others, and
new soot and new ashes would contribute to the deterioration of your clothes;
but from those colors will come the ink which will sign your name, My Beggar,
my king, who runs since then clean through my blood.
In the apocalypse
of the street, eight riders ride on the backs of eight bay horses. But
impassive before the death riding the eighth beast, one of the mates looked at it
challenging it and with his mind, he seized the bridles and stopped it, and the horse
went away not having touched him. The cold of the night led the two men to move
their settlement and look for a better place to shelter, but they continued to be too
conspicuous. For The Beggar of the Quake finding people who could know him was something more than a chance: somebody could see him, in the paradox of his usual
appearance, that of the previous day and that of the next days –Because it was
his intention to know the street in the afternoons and return to the Star every
morning−, but his hand in the air, like a tatterdemalion, calling misery in the
alley of despair. In the slow passing of hours he never lost consciousness of this
risk, and his way of always looking forward was touching and he could face any
contingency with the bravery of accepting that whatever happened, would be his fortune,
if it was already sealed. And then Greatness came. It came when the
goblins who sardonically designed the script of his fate wrote that he was to bump into a figure of his adolescence, with the irony that to overcome the challenge
of the pale beast, or to succumb to it, he had to introduce himself, for he
was not recognized, to his former groom. One who had been king,
fully aware of his figure of beggar, saw him through the sidewalks of the night
and called him towards him and spoke to him; and, as you might expect, he
obtained bewilderment as an answer. But, not getting scared, he looked in the
lines of his interior book to find the right words, explain himself and
convince. And if all this weren't enough, The Beggar who Never Knew Shame did
it again, and at what price!: he exhibited again the happiness of being accompanied
by his mate and, with pride in his broken voice, put his gallantry in introducing
him. − What good were they for me, my king, the experiences of my virginity if
I got frightened before the first familiar face, until the merciful hand of
memory rescued me from failure when I looked at the splendid woman who stood by
my side? All this you already know, My Beggar, but it is never enough to
repeat what you know if, otherwise, you'll never get to understand with what nails
you have been piercing, with the patience of water on a stone, my rough wood.
With this gesture you possibly lost forever your master of horses, but you earned
another heart, who kept your photographs of that night as unforgettable films.
Shame is a mastiff that awaits the unwary to tear them apart with the ferocity
of its ruthless fangs; a rider on the back of a dirty beast, thirsty for
blood. But at the gate of your house monsters stopped and could not find the
cowardice that provides them the meat they devour; since loyal to the thorns, my
Lord, you had decided not to know Shame.
It was not
the two men, but that October evening with its full moon, that was to blame for
the defeat. The stars that a few minutes earlier were still twinkling pale in that jet canvas
were starting to be swallowed by an arm of clouds under which an icy wind was
blowing. Two other beggars would have acknowledged that it was time to
sleep hungry in their dens. But the King Beggar would have preferred spending the night wearying
his knuckles because he was moved by a hunger that was stronger than his
hunger. And so, when he was suggested the chance of return, he asked for
another half an hour. And then he spoke: they could not return empty handed
without first getting some food for the little king. He had almost nothing he could contribute with, but he wanted to be allowed. −Never will you hear that he asks you,
my Lord, why have you forsaken me? If due to so much love, together with his
mother and me, he has chosen you among the angels who guard him. But in your
search for the truth, My Beggar, I followed you with a mute tongue because I
didn't see that there are things that I should have explained. And I had not
told you that at that time he must have already eaten and he will lack no food
once he is no longer breastfed by his mother's breasts. But if today it is me
who has not eaten, I'll be back with my hunger to his cradle and will give him
a kiss and a lullaby; and say: my son, this is your father. You don’t have to cry
if they bring you some bread a few nights and others only his appetite, nothing but
the air; cause for you your parents have saved the best things that they have
been able to find in the events of their days. So more or less are the verses,
my king, of the lullaby I sing to him every night. And you should not suffer if
still with your sweat you have not been able to bring him anything other than
crying or the laughter that accompanies his games; take care, for God’s sake,
of your own stomach, which is asking you to be looked after, and trust in the
future. Rest of your anguish, my king, for three will be the hands that will
feed him; and our time is miserable, but he is not hungry.
They made me know that there is another way
of earning a living when the itching of the hole in your stomach requires
desperate measures... Perhaps (shaking)
we should try. Defeated as the stars which were hiding crestfallen after the fruitless
night clouds, the two mates had no more alternative but to return home being hungry, or
maybe... Claws which suddenly opened up the darkness, the strings of a
dissenting voice was heard which risked everything in those words. Once ensured that the
little king would lack no food, The Beggar of the Quake of the Earth could
fight for that of his mate and his: then he evoked the harsh images that his
thought was forced to imagine some months before, in an exchange of
tortuous words with The Luminous Beggar, coming to him now as echoes of
degrading visions that were still hammering him, fleeting appearances which,
however, were becoming solid; which perhaps he could only soften if putting away
his nausea, he participated of this humiliation for which the seven, and many
others!, had to leave behind the last dignity when extreme hunger wouldn't leave
another chance. Who knows what memories, what tenderness lost forever, became
rain for him and fell, slices of blood on the mud, when he suggested the
possibility of procuring food in waste containers. Before those disturbing words, it
is inevitable to wonder whence he took out his strength, so natural in him all afternoon and
evening that it might be said a part of his skin. How powerful the convictions
of a man must be to utter them and be willing to carry out such delirium! Surely he
must have been worried at the idea that others might give it the name of madness:
because he had no need. But the beggar who had a fortune wanted to live the street
as if he did not have any, because it might be one day his only house, because of
the judicious insight that he could not go on with the cross that the people he
loved had carried before if he did not know what face torment has, that of men,
not that of the gods. Perhaps also because the pain of the hurtful truths and
half-truths had taught him to dodge the flowers that distilled any scent of
privilege. −Maybe, my king, because it was long since you learned the precept
that sometimes you must lose everything so as not to lose everything−. Reasons could be
these to string the beads of a rosary. Night was running and what should be
done should be done without delay. The Dirty Beggar was not capable of sparing
that to him, because one day he also reacted the same way and understood
what his mate was feeling −and finally, my Lord, Beggar of Spirits, I left it commended
into your hands−, but I could at least save you from the fetid horror of waste
containers. They walked a bit to get to an alley where they sometimes left, at
the mercy of dogs and other hungry ones, the leftovers of what the customers of a
multinational had eaten. −These are, my King, the back doors of the world,
places where we share food with dogs, with the rats that made it impossible for
us to touch what we had found, which they really ate−. A sudden start made the The King Beggar's cheeks go pale when he saw at the bottom of the alley a sullen
countenance who he believed to recognize. Possibly one of his workmates in the
Star had just seen him among the rats, searching for food in the garbage. −But you, my king,
shrugging your shoulders, despised the price fate made you pay for being where you
should be. Oh, my Lord. If it made you no harm, you would touch my chest
stretch marks, in which if a harmony is heard, it is a music born with golden the
strands of your story. If it made you no harm... If it didn’t, I would allow
you to touch the rhythm of my heart, which is beating in recognition of your
sovereignty; I would allow you to caress my heart, My Mate; my heart, your
liegeman!
Treacherous the
burden of the first cloud that was pouring nail after nail. At 10 they could feel the premature
threads of one which was to be a stubborn drizzle. It seemed that the night,
wet and ruin, forced them to capitulate. They had no more options than keep on being desperataly looking for a meal that was not sure, in new containers , and end
up sleeping in the shelter of anywhere; or returning home totally wet without the prize
of bread among their teeth, slow and downcast. But The King Beggar, who hadn’t
eaten since breakfast, and despite the hunger that should be tormenting him,
remained busy in thinking about those he loved; and already believing food was
impossible to get, he clung to a last hope: that one of them could still bring,
triumphant, a worthy dinner to The Daughter of the Earth. In those thoughts he
was when suddenly he must have had a vision, in which perhaps he understood
that she only expected him to return; and it was not essential that he put in her
hands either the tithe of the third part of the manna or nothingness. What mattered
was that he had struggled, and not whether he brought her abundance or defeat.
His face lit up in a smile of recognition and understanding that so it had been
written for the three of them, once again he knew what needed to be done; and his words
then fell as swords of light in whose golden fire he had left the inscription of
his own sentence: My Mate, let us go: it is no time to eat.− Boom... boom...
boom! Oh, King who became loved by the Earth! How can I forget the clear light
of your mirrors when you looked at me and you just smiled; you seemed in peace,
and yet, how it must hurt be hurting you, my Lord, that first hunger that always consumes; it
was one that came without warning just the same as it must hurt you a constant and awaited
hunger. But what my eyes were about to see was that, with all your suffering,
there you were: giving up continuing the fight to savour it. And however my king,
you were neither foolish nor a martyr...; just a beggar who knows the angles
where time likes to bend and knows that the ups and downs have changed, a man
who emerges from what he has learned and finally the owner of his painful truths, goes to play a leading role in the new direction of his fate. And I... who so many times have
slept hungry, and had not given you that afternoon any present, nodded to your
words to give you now shared hunger, of all the tender things that were in my
hand the one to which you would give more value to, the beauty that relieves pain
when two are those who tremble of the same chill. And again, my Lord, I was moved
by your comprehension; and about my own hunger you said nothing, because you had
just read that I could leave it where it could accompany you, entertained and at its
own pace, dancing with yours−. Once time was stopped, both mates looked at the
puddles where the tears that the wind made the clouds pour started taking different shapes on
the ground, filling the pavement of small stained-glass
windows. Were they delirious? The Tree-Beggar perhaps. Is it not true that only
with a word I could have prevented it? He should have explained to
him that surely his mates could cure them with a loaf and a drink, for
they had the wise law that prevents that in the union of several one of them starves;
that they could return home, for there they would find something... And,
however, he was silent. Because there are days when eating is a fantasy.
Because you cannot always find one of your mates near. Because if a man has to know
where he comes to, he must live the worst before he has made his luggage. −Because
maybe if you ate that night, my king, you would place on our ground your hut
and your bundle; and when the street the whore would slap your face one day with
hunger, you would like to cry and you would be surprised shouting: damn the time,
cursed be the land; blood was the only seed, only misery was its offspring−.
The Tree-Beggar was silent so that the man who was by his side could find the
answer to the distressing question whether there was a sun in the light that the
lack of food took from his strength, whether it would be worth being, in order to live; he
was silent because his mate, throughout the afternoon, was marking the steps;
because of all thorns, also of those of hunger, he was taking learning and
beauty. – It would not be hard for me to make love to you, my king!; with no
hesitancy my desire would increase to walk through your hills, to measure
myself in your eyes, to rock in your waves... not hard, My Mate, my sovereign;
only happiness. And maybe you find me one day begging you; perhaps very soon,
my Lord... If I do you no harm.
To the rain
gods who wrote the epilogue of that haggard day of October, who guided two men on
their way back between the cloud and the incense of the wet earth... to all of
them praise: theirs was the laurel of fertility disguised as a defeat. They
watered the ground of a street which that afternoon was not just the whore, even
though she could hardly be seen as a protective mother. Mother it will be in
the days of a placid shelter, of the timely coin, of laughs at the bonfire.
Mother it will be and a waterfall, in a bend of the future, the one it has
always been. −But what dignity and beauty, My Beggar, to have walked its
sidewalks; shivering and manly, the way you did! Your day of rivers began with liquid
dawn for breakfast... and to the sea where days die came the rain, my king,
because those are finally the waters that do not have any shores, those which are
not surrounded by borders, which are poured just to make it possible to be
watched, so that the miracle can go on. And if you were between two worlds, if you
needed both shores to be strong, because you could lose both and get lost,
that afternoon... of Beauty and Hunger (each one in its trench) you had created
a lake of water to swim, to have a bath, the water for your new baptism; and I did
not know that you were already a master of pain, a titan of the water, a sailor
who will not sink in the worlds he discovers. What Dignity, My Mate! And what Beauty
it was that you lived it with me! −. They returned tearing as best they could the intense
curtain of rain, but The King Beggar was taken by who knows what energies,
because his feet could not do it. Full of sores and covered in blisters, he
could hardly walk. Sluggish down the hills of a city where all of the streets
were called Calvary, he searched his powerful inner strength to walk as if on carpets
with the engine of the mystical nature of numbers, with the wings of the truths
he created that day. And he ended up inventing his own ideology, adding his
mantra to the common one of the greatness of the street. − Boom... boom...
boom! How to dissent from your view that every waning morning, empty of hopes,
had to be given a new meaning to find the promise of a waxing night; to
reconstruct oneself every day, clay and hunger, to bend the pain, to change the
horizon... what dignity, My Mate! To complete the adornment, now back in the outskirt
our mates pretended to be sleeping, to avoid you the pain of the
questions; The Daughter of Earth was waiting for us and at last she received,
satisfied, the hunger that we had brought, while little Regulus slept
peacefully, well fed and smiling; you prepared your few belongings to spend the
night under the sheep. Now, a long morning, hungry and painful awaited you, the
first column of the cloister of your next few weeks. October 4! From the prosperous
and dark dawn to the poor and luminous evening, with the stems of hunger and
exhaustion, the day had left on your forehead a laurel wreath, my Lord...
Rain that was still falling, the same one that had earlier obscured the stars, was finally
swept away, taking them to the sea, the last needles of your via crucis. What Dignity
and What Beauty, My Beggar! But I... I didn't know how to leave; I refused to move
away from your side. I could not leave you there alone without a gesture of
approval, without a caress for all that in a single day you had given me, a
praise for your worthy walking, my king, these foggy streets that you had turned
golden. I wanted to find the air of some warm verses that could bring you some
peace, My Beggar, my Lord, but I was just able to write a shaken rose, which in
the end, My Mate, was only a brief chant to cradle the heart of a man.
−I was carried away, Nike, and I didn’t allow your
voice to be heard. Forgive me.
−I am not going to complain, Luke. For in everything
you've told, which for me was very beautiful, I didn't want to talk. I always
thought... well, that the one you call king had behaved well that day, judging by
your subsequent reaction, but I did not understand very well why. Now
everything is a bit clearer. And, having spoken, what could I have said,
anyway? I think that one day you had to fight against violence, I... against
shame. I cannot remember when I started this battle... but I think that day
that beast, as you called it, did not come. Your King Beggar didn't feel it
that afternoon, My Mate.
−It shook me just the same, Nike. That absence moved
me. But I want to continue hearing you, My Beggar.
−Luke, I have no strength to discuss other things
that you have said, surely blinded by emotion... and that you cannot feel. That
is why... okay... I will keep on speaking of shame. You are right on one more
thing... the first words of that king, which he never uttered, were a solemn
request that everything would be as any other afternoon, he didn’t want to be
prevented that shame...
−We will speak of what I feel. But please go on in chronological
order, if you remember it...
-I remember it, My Mate. Using, again, your words, I
would say that I keep every memory of that day as indelible films. It is ok.
But I will not talk much, Luke. I prefer, as I have already said, to continue
listening to you. Let's see... to my silent request followed soon after,
according to your particular via crucis, the outstretched hand. You must
understand that, My Beggar. It didn't cost me any effort. It is easy if you
think that I had gone there for that... but I appreciate your desire to place
your hands between my hands. So, it seems not difficult to receive the first
coin. And I can keep calm because you know exactly what I thought. It is true that later I was surprised by wrath. I did not expect it. But I had assumed that there could be many things that I had not imagined. To those you call beggars from
outside I love them, Luke. It is inevitable. Perhaps because all of us beggars share the same
flesh. Then came a coin thrown with fury, but you've thought as I did,
and you are wise... in such conditions one prefers hunger, My Mate. It is
true that shortly after Exclusion shook me more than this city of winds. I was
about to cry, but it had to be thus, I never supposed it would be easy. And
thus I also knew the one you have as the secret sign. About my indignity, what can
I say? I didn't know then that it was, My Beggar, until we understood each other
with our looks. Therefore, what is so special about what happened next? According to
your words, I needed the rag and then it came... welcome! About shame, everything
has already been said, but I will say something else. I could not, Luke, in any
way, feel ashamed of the man who stood by my side, my mate. It's like
pretending that fire will not burn. I felt very proud that you were next to me.
−Amen.
−Surely, My Beggar, I was wrong twice. I did not have
only one indignity, but two, even if you, in your magnanimity, just wanted to see
one. Forgive me, Luke. I should have thought that the little king was well fed.
−You will participate in his food, Nike; we still have
much to talk about. But for the time being, you don't need to add anything else, if
you do not want. Continue, please.
−Later... where was the delirium, Luke? I had a good
teacher, your Luminous Beggar was. And if I was seen, it was obvious it had no
importance. The next morning I paid him back, that pompous son of a bitch, but
this is not what you have asked me, forgive me. I continue with what little is
left. You have explained it very well too when you said that day I had to
prepare for hunger. Thus, and with it in my bag, what merit does it have that “it
is no time to eat”? With it I was all day and it would also caress me the next
morning. It was my new life, Luke, and whatever it was, I wanted to live it and
I suspected that many days I would go through that difficult situation. Therefore, I
had to start now. Thank you for giving me then your shared hunger, of all
the tender things that were in your hand, that which I would give more value
to. And what else do I have to say? Mother it will be and the waterfall,
indeed, on other days it already has been. Forgive me for the first person. I
would have failed to express myself otherwise. And are you satisfied with this
poor summary?
−I am so far. But tell me the truth; would you like me
to continue?
−Your story is beautiful, Luke, beautiful for me. That
means yes, My Mate. Please follow. I want to hear it until the end.
In the first
poor night sleep is slow to arrive. But he who has been called The King Beggar
was dead tired. And the next morning, when The Dirty Beggar, as agreed,
woke him up, he found him in a fetal position, curled up and asleep. He got up,
for the first time in the trumpets of the morning twilight. There was someone
living the day, and the first thing his eyes saw were the stained glass windows
that The Servant of the Wind was showing him. Dawn would come soon like a tapestry of several
colors. Cold dawn it was that Oct. 5. With a borrowed jacket, the king left and
go to his destination. He still had the Star, as a scrap, as an illusion of
what he used to have. He had to see whether he could still keep it, for a few more moments,
perhaps for one or two more moons, at the time he decided not to have anything more than the
moving kisses of those he loved. He had to know whether the path he had walked was
the definitive path or whether everything would not have been more than a beautiful
dream. It was a dawn luckily without fog, but with so much cold!... But there
was beauty in other places. They could still be seen... and one could not do
but look at them. In that cold morning serenity, the Beggar of the Earth,
another name for The King Beggar, had a gaseous star wink. He was radiant
looking, on the east, the dim light. Thick clouds were sailing haggard that
viewpoint. Some clouds hurt the east. His eyes were like sharp spears. A dark east,
topped by a threat of fog for later. But meanwhile, daring stars put a hat of
beauty to the cold dawn.
The new
beggar started to walk between humidity and a wind that froze your skin. The
miserable morning was raw and deadly. The poorly dressed skin suffered and
bled. The impenetrable sidewalk seemed a second angel who brought on his wings
the temptation to surrender. It was hard to walk along nearly deserted streets in
that hour of devils. Certainly, the King Beggar was tempted. He could not help but think about the splendors of his foam bed and his room of abundant
supplies. He didn't want to do it, but to remember the past, till a few hours ago
his present, was inevitable. And what is it so special that a beggar remembers
better days? When hunger is strong and bloody cold stabs, everybody wants to
return. The Beggar of the Earth was the only one who could but never did.
And suddenly... in a central street, almost a silhouette approached him. A man
who rubbed him in passing, perhaps because it could not be otherwise, spoke just
enough to save him: go away, you beggar! And then he who was a king started
laughing. That individual had said his name. He was already so camouflaged that
he looked what he was and felt. Just a few hours ago he had needed to be called with that name and finally he got it. His memories of the previous evening or a newly
aroused class consciousness made him know who he was and where he belonged to and he
could not doubt. The temptation left him and the narrator does not know yet
what lurks in the hermetic silence of this man in this terrible night, but he
believes that it will not return. But back to what is known. More comforted and
safe, he came near the aromas of an old bakery. The King Beggar
didn't have any money in his rags and did not enter. But it came to his memory,
inevitably, that just 24 hours ago he had taken pleasure in one. He was hungry
for the first time in his life, but he again triumphed. He moved away from that
place with a disdainful shoulder shrug and continued his road without eating.
The disastrous fate of surrender was only a bad dream. He was a son of the
Earth and had to continue his road.
The Star
where he came every morning was opulent, but had not yet opened its doors when
the beggar came. He stopped to wait in a miserable alley, as a beggar, his
hands on his shoulders, so as not to freeze. He finally entered with the
first suppliers and even so, for the man at the bar, his new friend and ally,
it was difficult to recognize him. A few words of affection, and he was
relieved in the heat of thousands of stained glass windows. He allowed him only to
invite him only to a coffee because the King Beggar felt that the he had not earned
the food. And in the dialogue that followed he no longer showed any
uncertainty. He explained where he had been and what he had been doing in the
last hours and he was received by a new understanding that touched him. From
that moment he was going to fight to be the one he wanted to be. And when you
really are, the price no longer matters. The rag of the past freezing hours had
given him serenity. He hugged the man from the bar as a convicted person
hugs his loved ones. He was going to the trenches where he knew he had to go. He
was going to utter, as he could, his second allegation before the raiders.
Disserenascit.
How could he
tell them what had happened in a single day, and expect that it didn’t seem a crazy thing?
They were all there, and it was obvious that they knew, because the man who saw
him last night searching among the rats had already spoken. Even so, he took a deep breath and tried to convince them of who he felt he was. He told without blushing
that in eleven days with the beggars he had understood many things and finally he
knew who he was. He spoke of a happy time when he had cried and laughed, he had
suffered and had been transformed, a time when he had been overwhelmed. He spoke as best he could from an age of fruits to an exile of thorns where he was
forced to live because he had to get away from them due to a feeling that he preferred not
to say. He reached the previous evening with strenght and told how chance had made
him found one of them, and how his heart overflowed and he had felt the desire
to jump −and again, without blushing, he said the name of his mate−. He spoke
of a meal that was not touched and an unsuccessful evening on the street, where
no doubt one of the now present had seen him in his most degrading hour which,
anyway, he wanted to tell. Because he felt no shame, but pride. Because it was
the first time, but it would certainly not be the last. Because when he was coming
here in that cold morning he already knew his future identity and to which fate
he would not renounce. He was first a beggar, fights or not, and he did not mean
to cease to be. He wanted to just continue there every morning, with afternoons
and evenings in the outskirt, which was for him a vigorous and fertile stream. Return
there every day... He understood prejudices... but he was willing to lower his
conditions. His speech must have been torn and sincere, since they finally agreed to a
beggar on the Star. And not only because the former king was now a man they
could not ignore. He had just given birth to his new days. As dessert only the soup remained that he
should have eaten the night before, and a conversation, for the first time
sincere with an angel that finally showed himself more human than divine. He
had crossed the Rubicon and came back at last to the outskirt, his new home, the
miserable, and yet, the desired one.
A strong
light seemed to shine in his eyes in his return. A poor and hungry for
hours return, but is it not victory what his name means? The seven looked at him
feeling they wouldn't lose him again, for he was a part of the same landscape, and
feeling that finally they were the prophesied eight. A beggar who loved him
called him aside and spoke to him. They understood again with almost no needed words.
But there were some. We had to make him understand that Dignity also comes with
temptations; that Shame had been stronger than many and everyone had felt that
bite, everyone but him; that Hunger is not so dangerous when they are many,
because you can always find some food near. He was hardly able to remind him of
all that and there was no occasion to assure him that he loved him. And of
other things... what could I tell him? –If I have not spoken until today, my king,
knowing what you felt for your mate, it is because perhaps my strength failed
me, because your weakness could be, from that day, also my weakness;
because I could not push you to us without knowing what decisions you would
take, because your jump could be into the abyss, not to the breeze that moves
the treetops. But, without a doubt, you are The Beggar of the Earth and the Tree,
and perhaps you do not fear any impulse or no life, and I am the only one who
might have some fears−. The afternoon ended with the unexpected relief on his
feet that the Servant of the Wind gave him with a home remedy. Healed of
injuries in his body and his soul, the cold of the night was nothing more than
a blanket of wind, where he would sleep dead tired but satisfied ready to start
another day with strength.
Fourteen were
the days that he was this time among his mates, perhaps the first in a
long series, perhaps the last... but he would never be the same anymore. Days with
all winds and cold, days of all the suns. He went to the street with his mate
more than once, and almost always they returned with something in their stomachs.
They returned some evenings still with the light in their eyes of the star of the
day, other times with a load of rain on their shoulders. But he also wanted to
accompany The Selective Sharer and with him he toured the sidewalks of this
city Calvary. And he disagreed again with what was taken for granted because
this beggar, which they had given Scarcity, showed himself, however, prodigal
in abundances. He returned with the first stars and woke up every morning to see his
Star; and for this reason he was not always understood, but he was always
respected because his house was still of firewood and grass, his suit of
miserable despair, one more shaken voice on the bonfire, a light in the
darkness of every night, so young and so old in the job as any beggar of today or
before, as needy as the sky on a rainy night, no light of the stars bringing
beauty to it. He had learnt so much by now that never, in any return, he would
be the same. A beggar in wealth or in poverty, he would be between Father Earth
and Mother Universe, under the cloak of night or between the sheets of fortune,
a beggar at last everywhere, because he was an inhabitant of the dream or the
nightmare of being alive, and in that game that was played every day the aim
was always to survive.
But he was
still to live a night of winds that would bend his waist as with a knife. The
chest of October froze and they were almost all together at the bonfire. The Beggar
of the Earth and the Tree reigned in the heart of the little king, who was rocked
in the same fatigue, on the verge of sleep, while his compass was dancing in
his pupils. And then the Universe wanted to rectify and nearly caused the
tragedy. With two months that are not enough to speak, and are only enough to
mumble, perhaps just a babbling on his lips, Regulus called father to he who
had not fathered him. And the one he had mentioned, as if he had just gotten
another scar from a basilisk, was silent. –There have always been fates, My
Mate, my king, which lead to no cause. Perhaps because the cosmos is crying asking
for a renewal. But how can a man walk in despair to his own abyss only by a few
words? Not even the words of The Daughter of the Earth calmed him down
because, again the catoblepas, he had now a new shameful wound. Perhaps for
this reason it becomes necessary to talk privately after the tale with the King
Beggar for it is not known what revelations the chronological
order can still bring. But if you so wish, it will be a new story of Beauty, like all stories
among beggars, of those that have no end because there are explosions that
never end. In any case, you need not fear, for it is written in the sky without
mists of the night that Zosma must be between Denebola and Algieba, with
Regulus in some beautiful lap, accompanying them without tears, restless and
dazzling. And those two stars can, if that’s your wish, join yours in the same
constellation, because they both like you, and like is almost never the same as love,
but sometimes they are confused−. Meanwhile, The Beggar of the Earth cried, and
his soul, desperate, walked into darkness.
He was dying of
cold and was not warmed enough by a new exchange of tremulous words with The
Luminous Beggar. Because serenity is impossible without stridency. He just made
him a promise to live even in the intense suffering of all his pains. A faithful
man that beggar who has made his secrets visible in the gale when The Dirty Beggar
–maybe a fourth traitor, but in the excusable mistake of his good intentions− wormed
the truth out of him. Unveiling what is hidden can be also a luminous moment,
and he who was branded by the iron of the Exclusion makes whatever is in his
hand to avoid new excommunications. –You do not betray when your heart spills its
blood, when it is friendship that flows through your veins, my king, the pain of another twin and brother.
And that's
how the hero of this story almost froze. He walked through the woods not
being quite sure who he was, naked of love and hope, shivering in his Shade.
Merciless winds drove him through Horror and the maiden Wisdom was a necessity
and did not come, because she does not come if it's Cold. It saved him to have
already known Dignity and indignity, and with Greatness, avoiding the Temptation
of the new despair, he began to think about what could be the right thing to do.
He needed Clarity and possibly it was found. The Dirt of the night didn't hide
him, at least, that light. It is not known what he decided to do, but in his
heart can only be Beauty and if the icy blow of the winds hurt him as a slap in
the face, he would remember The Lady of Shade, first of them all, and the seven
who came after her, and would decide any new Commotion, for nobody could deny
him now the Liberty he had preferred to choose. In this way he would save
himself on any road with Recognition of Acceptance that comes with Verôme and
the spirits of the universe would be accompanying him.
Thus it has
to be told by those who come after that the storyteller and the King Beggar
would meet in a curve of the evening, by the old alders, at the bottom of an ancient
cave, to open their hearts in words and stories, with the singing of winds as a
music of the night, customary Hunger quiet in new famines, two vampires who in
blindness have left their blood, in the third cave of the revelations. All this
may not be necessary, but it was the sap of a soul and therefore excusable. –I
apologize also for having read some of the pages of that book of your feelings you
believed unreadable. And if you have not protested, my king, it may be because
it does not protest he who agrees, and it is now the turn to walk. Allow me just
the moan of a plea: don't go, my Lord, anywhere I could not accompany you. Let
me share your tears, if you have to cry, or your few belongings or hopes.
Ninety-five out of a hundred in my place would want to flee after you, even to
the abyss. So strong is my need, My Mate, my king, that you could say that the
bald man has become a beggar, and now I don’t even have the ghost of what I was
just the same as never was stronger than you that Shame that they say it is a part
of our skin and it can be, as all the garments, only an ornament. I don't know
where you are heading, my king, but if every road is a trip, let me, once
again, discover it with you. Your poor mate can be a shabby cane, but you are
to have in him your guide, a dim flashlight which perhaps still
knows how to illuminate you. The Daughter of the Earth and I wish to continue sailing
in the fragrant harbour where you swim. Regulus will accompany us, my king, on
that stormy journey, and perhaps new stars will shine because the constellation
is not yet complete.
That was the
voice of Urgency. –Forgive the storyteller, my Lord, a miserable narrator who
does not know whether he can lose you. But how to finish this story without pain?
Maybe saying that, if you wish, the following chapters are not written and can be
travelled in company. It might not have an end if your heart does not have it.
Perhaps it is time not to add anything unnecessary and thus, respect the
blemished codes, those old arcana of Wisdom or folly, to which we give value
because they are ours. And now walk wherever winds take you, my king, with me
or without me, whatever you have decided. Perhaps with a new light, perhaps with new
darkness. But the Tree-Beggar loves you and will love you wherever you are. But
you must know that in any place you will take the light of the little king and you
will not get lost if you follow it, because it is a star which has not lost its
heat and long it is since it shines for you as a wink of hope.
If you have
chosen the street, you already know that sometimes it is the mother, sometimes
the whore, but always the mate; but about its old silhouette of lover there is
nothing more I can tell you that you have not learned. It has been you tonight that
has decided, sometimes with words, sometimes with silence, to overwhelm so as not
to break, and I do not feel like ending the tale. Carry with you wherever you
go a shining light, for you will find a star lit in every path; and I will
follow you or stay back but with the firing of each nail, with your word and your
crying, your courage, your manhood forever... but why don’t you sit back
comfortably and we even give time to conversations which may be necessary? Not
all revelations have room in this story and there are still things left to say...
Who knows if
only a few hours ago a luminous traitor would not tell me some of the words he
had exchanged with a beggar who was born in a golden cradle. Words that were
almost as verses, which assumed the acceptance of any nebulous fate. A sincere
prayer to the God of life, words of a man who, however, is dying on the inside.
− Hail, my king! At this time where we have to keep fighting. Because you have
chosen to live, and remember that there are no lingering shadows. Your star
will shine in any dark road and if you prefer not to go alone, you will find me
in some corner waiting for you, even if it has to be you now the one who illuminates me.
The street the whore has made you wise and you no longer need my advice, my
diffuse light, since you have been created to be a master of pain, titan of the
water, a sailor that won’t sink in the worlds he discovers−. In these words you could drink water to be born, and however, the minute hand moved to mark
with blood: despair is a teacher like the street, the mother of all those who walk
through it, but despair is part of the beauty of life, and I still want to live.
Disserenascit. Booooooom.
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