CHAPTER XXVI: VAMPIRES

   Passionate heats made our cheeks burn with feverish intensity. We had placed ourselves near a fireplace and also the burning of talking again made us spend the evening like that: among blushes and reddening. The lights were dim, to highlight the silver color of everything around. In The Silversmith everything was silver, or perhaps they were imitations of this metal. The truth is that I do not know –Luke went on telling them−. Even the tables had some silvery color. All around us, the carved mirror frames, shelves with trays and ashtrays, some brazen statuette indifferently resting at the foot of a candelabra, everything was silver or imitation of it. We were there almost isolated of the scarce attendance and the waiters came soon. We had not even looked yet the dishes that were served.



 

−I have still so much October 4 to tell that, although I know that it is still early, Protch, I prefer to tell you tomorrow the rest of the day. And I regret not having Luke's easy and flowery style, but I will have to return to the story with my words. Of the many things we talked about in that restaurant, anyway, he just made everyone a summary –and as I noticed a faltering Protch overawed before something that he wanted to ask me, I dared to inquire−. What do you want to say?

−I don’t know if a while ago you would have wanted me to interrupt, but I didn't tell you that I know The Shining Bread of Dawn. In fact there I buy bread every morning. Finally, I will presume to ask you this: would you not accept me to invite you to eat?

−I am happy that you want to do it. But really, Protch, not yet. Wait a little more.

− And would you also say no to breakfast? –he insisted.

− What is your idea?

−That brioche which you have described... I see it there every morning. If you say you would, in the next breakfast you'd have one. Chocolate and bitter orange, isn’t it?

−Protch, I dare not refuse breakfast too. It is ok. If it is not an annoyance for you, tomorrow I will eat it with a cup of coffee; and I hope that you accompany me.

   It was so agreed. I remember the next morning was Saturday. Protch was only waitingfor my arrival to prepare coffee and we went to the kitchen after the usual greetings. I noticed that the table was adorned by a brioche that would be good for several servings. I asked him to eat with me.

-I will, Nike. But I beg you to eat as much as you want. I don't want to leave anything for another day. Tomorrow it will no longer have the same flavor.

   We ate it in the kitchen before moving on to the living room so I resumed my story. And while we chatted, evoking the fire that was liquefied on their crumbs, recalling what the importance of that October 4 brioche was for me, but without saying anything to Protch so as not to advance a single paragraph of my narration, as of something we had to talk, I asked him:

−According to what you said yesterday, John Ellis does not come on Saturdays, does he?

-Right. Why do you ask me that?

−He was not in the garden, but casually strolling Castle Road, I believe that waiting for me. You spoke of me yesterday, didn’t you?

−I did, Nike. I had to tell him that the beggar he had seen entering was Mr. Siddeley.

-As Mr. Siddeley he greeted me. In fact, we didn’t speak for long -what I dared not tell Protch was that I felt uncomfortable before John Ellis. It was a fact that it was still the money of the Siddeley that provided him sustenance and for that reason he was before me flatterer and compassionate− and also his questions were impossible. How to explain to him that now I am in this situation? Finally I guess that with some coldness, I had to tell him that you were waiting for me and that it was already late to be able to get rid of him. Let’s talk no more of him –coffee was already served−. Protch, try the brioche, and tell me what you think.

   He ate little, leaving almost everything to me, but he tried it. He admitted that he liked it, that though he had seen it many times in the windows of the bakery, he had never before eaten it. But now I know that for him the only important thing was that for the first time I had accepted to eat something with him.


 

   So in The Silversmith Luke and I had sat to eat. It was quarter past two, we did not have any problems in finding a free table and immediately the waiters came. In the waiter's face you could see that it was a surprise for him to serve, as it seemed, businessman and a beggar sitting face to face. But he didn't make any comment. When he asked us what we wanted, we told him that we had not had time to see the menu, although we would accept suggestions. As already expected, he spoke to us about five or six different types of lamb dishes, of which I remember rosti lamb, lamb stuffed with mushrooms and spinach and lamb in mint sauce, which I chose. Luke said that he would eat the same thing that I ordered. To drink I ordered a soft drink and I was surprised that Luke ordered one too.

− "You had wine on the night of August 3. Would you not rather have it"?

− "Nike, I don't know if you want us to talk about certain things. But wine is not essential for me, and I will not drink it again in your presence. Okay?"

− "Thanks, Luke. Please, now we have the time; talk to me without haste of all of you, your wife and your son, your outskirt..."

− "Fine; I'll start, but remember that I also want to hear from you."

− "I don't have much to tell. But I will make an effort. Please begin."

− 'As I know that you're really interested I will speak of my family, I'll start there, where there is a piece of news that I do not think you know −and looking at me insecure, as doubting how I would take it, he continued-.  Do you remember that I said that Lucy and I were married according to the laws of the Earth, without papers showing it? –and when I answered affirmatively, he said−. Well, being parents everything changed, and Lucy and I decided to get married. We've got married, Nike."

− "Congratulations, Luke −I said sincerely−.  I would also like to congratulate your wife. Which day did you get married?"

− "We decided to get married the same day as Olivia’s birthday, which is..."

   But I interrupted him.

− "On September 16 –and when he looked at me surprised, I said−. I haven’t forgotten the night of Aug. 3, when John distributed the stars and you generously gave me two. I remember the dates of birth of all those who said it. I don’t know Lucy’s and yours."

− "Whenever you wish, we will talk about that, but I want to answer your first question before. We decided to get married because of our son, to give a greater appearance of legality to our union and our parenthood. And to give him a surname. But as to this... you'll see: I am not going to tell you all the legal battle, or the time we had to spend in it, but with Miguel's help, who, if you remember, was a lawyer, we have finally managed to put the two surnames joined by a hyphen. And so our son's name is Paul Prancitt-Rivers".

− "Paul Prancitt-Rivers, the little king, your son..."

− "Who had an uncommon privilege, which you and I have not had for example: to attend his parents' wedding. Yes, Nike, all of us went."

− "Where was it?"

− "Well, we had a problem of religion, as you can say. Lucy is officially devoted to the same faith of the Rivers, the dominant faith in the country. You could say that I am a Catholic, or that my parents were. She decided that we married in the Church of St Mary, beside which my home in Knightsbridge Street used to be. Actually we both consider ourselves as pagans, and if we believe in something it is in God-Fate and the motifs by Verôme. But it was there, at 9 o'clock in the morning of the 16th, at St Mary's. I want to apologize, Nike."

− "Apologize? Why?"

− "For several days I was thinking of inviting you to our wedding. And it would have been easy. John could have gone to your house. Or Anne-Marie. She was also invited but she could not come. And talking one day with her, she told me that it was not the time yet to invite you. I didn't know what to do. And it wasn't, Nike, as you may be thinking, because I no longer considered you my friend. Quite the opposite. I got to thinking that you were in a period when you had to adapt to your life and to see us so soon could cause you pain. Finally, Nike, I don't know if I did well. If I was wrong, forgive me."

− "Forgive you? You are the one to forgive me. I have been a traitor, Luke"

− "Is that the opinion you have of yourself? −he looked at me with severe eyes−. Later we'll talk about it. I have a completely different opinion of my friend Nike. And as I see you willing to gainsay my words, I repeat it. I know perfectly well what I'm saying. But before I ask about you, do you think ok to continue telling you the few pieces of news there may have been?"

− "It is no little news to know that you are married. I give you my warmest congratulations again. But please, tell me a little of everybody –and remembering something that kept worrying me, I asked−. Did Miguel have a fever the night of August 6?"

− "He was feverish one day when you were with us, but he was cured and has not been more times. Right, you must not always be strict with the chronological order. Let's start with him. These past two months the arguments between Miguel and John have been constant, but even so I, who know them well, can assure you that out of every argument they get a new outbreak of everlasting love. Of John I can say, that at this time I have rekindled my friendship with him. Now he looks at me otherwise and prefers my company and my wife’s. My friendship with Bruce has also grown tremendously and Nike is a frequent topic of conversation among us. Yes, my friend; Bruce did not forget you. He never will. Mistress Oakes, like Lucy, only talks to me about you with complete confidence. Both of them know that sooner or later they will see you again, as I know it, and as you can see: here we are. And of my dear Olivia, what can I say? I hear increasingly less the phrase Luke is adorable, the same one you doubted and which, sincerely, didn’t make me very happy. She used to say it but I must confess that nonetheless I have never doubted her affection towards me or her friendliness. And what else to tell you? Everyone is still more or less the same."

− "I don't know. I want to know so many things about you that I would be listening for an hour. Tell me something else. Even if they are not news."

− "There is some more news. But I don't want to make you cry. Let me tell you again first that we are all well. And even wonderfully fed. Summer is always a good time for us. And the beginning of autumn has been windy, but not very rainy so far, and all has been good for us. Windy I have just said. You know that eight days ago the city suffered a real gale –he looked at me doubting whether to say that he knew that I had been there−, which swept away the great ash tree where often bonfires are made, which fell on Olivia’s tent. But it did her no harm. Calm down, Nike. We were not there. And there has also been some loss among our cats. Do you remember them?"

− "I do, Luke. I don't know whether they have a chronological order, but in the order that I knew them they were Telemachus, Terence, Tessa and Ted –and restless I asked−. Tell me fast how they all are."

− "There is a casualty, or maybe two. We do not know. We have not seen Tessa for two weeks. Telemachus and Ted are ok. Or they were when I left this morning. But Terence we know that it is dead –and noticing my tears, he told me the details−. It was already very old. One morning we found him drowned under Menhir Bridge. You know that it's broken. Perhaps on one occasion, the last one, it wasn’t able to jump and maybe it fell to the river and perhaps, in some debauchery of the stream, it could not swim and... But don't look at me thus, please. If you find yourself responsible somehow, I will tell you that you would have been unable to avoid it."

− "That I will never know, Luke. I could at least have seen its last days of life or have cried for it with you. Or maybe... imagine. You do not know, do you? At what time it drowned. Perhaps, had I been there, it wouldn’t have gone to the river and it could have stayed in my arms. If you remember, your four cats liked my presence there and they used to do it."

− "It was already very old, Nike. Even so it would not have lasted for longer. Your presence could have delayed its death a few hours or a few days. But at the end it would have returned to the river and it would have drowned."

− "Okay, Luke. Even if I came to your outskirt today, Terence I would not see anymore."

− "But perhaps for each absence there is a new presence. We often see there a cat, also grey, which we call Theseus. But he is more often close to our neighbors, the Outcasts. They live now calmer, because I do not know if you know that they have closed Baphomet."

− "Drugs..." –I hinted.

− "Drugs –he assured me−. Or that we have heard. I guess that it is consumed everywhere, but it seems that within that disco it was being now too obvious."

   I said nothing. But I didn’t oppose. I, who had been so many times inside, knew well that all sorts of drugs were there as a universal custom, without any control. Instead, I asked:

− "I still have a question: how is your brother? Did he finish University?"

− "I think that he still has two unfinished subjects. Let’s see if I name them correctly: edaphology and structural geomorphology. This year he has promised to study them in earnet. But, besides that, he is quite well. And that reminds me: I didn't ask you in August, how did you like my brother?"

− "From what little I knew I would say that he is cheerful, sincere and somewhat talkative. He would attend your wedding, wouldn’t he? But forgive me, before that I want to ask you, because when I left, your son had already been born and your brother could not be there, how does he get along with his nephew and when did he meet him?"

− "Let's go little by little. He really came to our wedding, of course. And I remember that he missed you and asked about you. He expected your visiting him."

− "I have been very negligent in many things but, if I am honest, I will tell you that I dared not. To do that, I should have gone first to the Torn Hand. And I have not done so. Sorry, Luke."

− "We will soon talk about all of that, because I don't like to see that you reproach yourself. But on your opinion about him, I will tell you that once again, if you are right or wrong, I am also right or wrong then, because we tend to think the same way about the same people. And it is true that he was not there at the time that Paul was born, but he knew him on the very August 6, about 7 o'clock, when at last he could come. And I can assure you that my son loves his uncle. And if you have no more questions, let me be the one now who knows your news."

    At that time the waiter brought us two dishes of lamb in mint sauce. Really suggestive and well presented. The smell itself already whetted appetite. Although besides waiting for it to cool a bit, I then had a knot in my stomach, for how to tell Luke that I had spent two months without going to see them? He must be noticing my nervousness for he helped, who could have thought it, telling me some facts of my own story.

− "Before you start let me tell you some episodes, because it might be good for you to know that I know them. To begin with, the night of August 6, you had, say, a hallucination, in which you believed to have seen John, and surely there was where you got the idea that Miguel would continue with a tempeature. Then, on the very morning of August 7, not waiting for one more day, you spoke to, how did you call them?, ah yes, raiders or sharks, about your stay with us and you defended us, not allowing them to offend us. That day you met the waiter of the Thuban Star, whose name I believe is Richard – at this point I was already worried about how he got to know all these things− he was one of the two people you told that if you got to forget us, to give you a slap in the face. Am I being right?"

− "Surprisingly right" −I said, not daring to add anything else.

− "Later I will tell you how I know all these things. But let us continue. When you got home every day, you took refuge in your library, or you went somewhere in your car to avoid having to converse with your servants. But one day, finally, you didn’t endure them any longer and you decided to fire them and stay alone. Thus you spent all of September. In order to not make all this too long it only remains for me to tell you that if you reproach yourself not to have come, finally you did. You were here that terrible morning of the hurricane. And you could not find us. We were, as you may have suspected, at Anne-Marie’s. My mates have taken refuge in her house five or six times. But I arrived later, as you know, and until that night I didn’t know her beautiful home in Evendale."

− "Anne-Marie then..." −I said concerned. I did not know what else she could have told.

− "Anne-Marie –he began to tell me in an evocative tone−... I like that woman. Yes, Nike. I know that she doesn't really appreciate me. She has never loved me too much, actually. But these past few months she seems to almost hate me −I was really worried now−, but I cannot help but love her a lot. And if you wonder why, I'll tell you that she represents for me canine loyalty. She is a friend of John’s; and she will show him in any circumstance. I don't think that she considers the rest of us as friends, but she talks to us politely and courteously. But her friendship with John is unquestionable. She comes to see him to the street as she would follow him to prison or hell. In the time that I've known her, she has been a mirror where I was also looking at myself in case one day Lucy and I decided to move away from here. It is a challenge I have with myself: my mates are my friends, and they will always be."

− "And as you can understand –he continued−, being the only person who was in contact at the same time with you and John, she told him some things about your recent life. And I now usually spend several hours a day with him, sometimes with Miguel by his side. And as John knows how much I appreciate you, I aske him things about you and he tells me some things. But I guess he keeps some answers. The most private ones about you he will not tell me and I do not ask him."

   Quicksand. I was worried and sometimes frightened about what Luke might know. But I didn’t regret to have told the truth to John and Anne-Marie. I really wondered whether he would have figured out the truth, but everything that was clear at that moment is that Luke seemed to love me, despite the distance of those two months. And that was enough for me.

   The food was already cold enough but still we had not tasted it. And I had a piece of bread in my hand ready to insert it into the sauce. But Luke did not begin, although he had already tasted his cola drink, and I was quite nervous, despite being satisfied of having this conversation with him, as to start.

− "So, Nike, what about telling me now whatever you want?"

− "What can I tell about myself these months that doesn’t make you think that I've behaved like a traitor?"

− "Nike, I’ll make you know something else. You can think about yourself whatever you want. But I have not thought evil of you for a second and am not going to start now. So I will tell you that I also know indirectly by Anne-Marie that you could not avoid naming us in each of your conversations with her. Is it not true?"

− "It is true, Luke. But damn, I cannot hide what you already know. I have not gone to see you. I have not gone to see you! How to move from there?"

− "Nobody ought to come and see a few beggars and..."

− "Not that, Luke. You cannot think that. Yes, you are beggars −and bathed in tears I went on−, but you are also, believe me or not, what I love most in the world."

− "I believe you. You're still the same Nike I was lucky to love in summer. And as you allowed me to get to know you therefore I can tell you that I am well aware that what you tell me is true. If you will allow me, I will say that that Nike I met then would have wanted to come and see us."

− 'Then, Luke... there you are. I have not gone."

− Look, Nike, perhaps we have the problem in a verb. The friend who I knew would have wanted to see us. Then if you've not come is simply because you have not been able to."

− "Not good for me, Luke. I had free afternoons. In fact every morning I thought "this afternoon I will go", but when the time came, I finally had no strength."

− "Let me tell you, Nike, that when you met us in summer, we were such an essential part for you that we might say that since then you are living in two worlds. And since you've said nothing in one of them prevented you to come, in the end it is what I think. There is a circumstance, which I do not know, that makes it impossible for you to return to this world, to the Outskirt of the Torn Hand. I guess that it will not be this, but suppose, it is only a guess ok? That with one of the seven you had an argument and you do not feel comfortable with him. Thus, you do not come so as not to see that person."

− "I have not had any argument with anyone. It isn't that, Luke. I love you seven."

− Perfectly, Nike. And I can assure you that I believe you. It was just an example. Let me venture another assumption. But first I ask you again: is there or is there not a circumstance in our world that prevents you to come?"

    Yes. And this circumstance is you, Luke. But as I could not answer this, I had to find another reason that would explain my absence. And I soon found one.

− "I don't know whether you will understand or believe me. I could have gone to visit you. But so I would have felt bad later. So much I came to love you in summer that I identified myself with each. Those days fate made me stay there so that I could learn to love you. A new sensation in my life. After the death of my grandparents I do not know if I have loved someone as much as I love you. And I couldn’t, Luke. I could not go and visit you and then return to my home. I needed to feel I was one more of you, the eighth, not a friend who loves you and does not share your life. Several times, from Miguel and Mistress Oakes’s words, I figured that at least two of you expected me to stay forever with you. The last three of you have done so. It was an instant decision and I was not able to do the same."

− "Nike, no decision is better than another for being instant. And remember that nobody compels you to. Do you understand something as simple as that we cannot reproach you, you or anyone else, for not becoming immediately a beggar? For God’s sake, we love you. We can't do that to you. And everybody has their own circumstances."

− "There is nothing in my life that ties me, Luke. I can assure you that. So I will admit, like you have just said, there is a "circumstance". Leave it there. It is enough for me because I know that at least you believe me."

− "When one does not love oneself much, Nike, and I know what I'm talking about, he can make many erroneous deductions. We mistakenly believe that others do not like us or not understand us. I speak so freely, because you're still my twin, and this way you will feel more comfortable. We assume then that there is a "circumstance". And I hope that you go one step further and are sure that I understand you and love you. Now I'd really like to hear from you."

− "I spent hours remembering you. Work was the only thing that made me think of other things for a while, but even so every morning I went through the same: I challenged myself saying that today I would go and see you. When I left work, I gave in, but not before thinking again, at least, to go and see your brother so that he spoke to me a little of all of you. But I didn’t feel strong. And finally I did other things feeling vile and, I'm not going to conceal it, the poor impression I had of myself worsened. It only calmed me down the fact that Anne-Marie was going to see you and told me that you were all well. Except on September 26, when I couldn't stand it anymore and I approached your outskirt really fearing for everyone, and when I didn't find you, I got really scared, until finally she told me that you had spent the night in her house. And so I have little to tell you that you haven’t told me first."

− "Anyway, tell me about it, Nike. I want to know your version. But don't reproach yourself for anything."

− "It will be inevitable to reproach myself. What can I tell you? Without you everything has been darkness, despair, a desert... When I went to bed, loneliness was cold; I felt that my sheets had become a frost. And I could not enjoy watching TV, because I was always afraid to bump into the weather forecast by surprise. If they said it was going to get cold, it was going to rain, or the wind would be daggers before becoming a hurricane, I felt I was dying for not being with you and suffer it at your side. The news maybe started to talk now about hunger in the world and it is then when my ears were bleeding. I know that I would not fix your life coming to the street but I did not dare to imagine you starving or to remember how well-fed I was with so much that you gave me. And I had in Deanforest that which would have satisfied you. So finally I didn't watch television and took refuge, as you know, in the library. But then I remembered Olivia and I started to cry. Although at least there I was alone and could do it. But finally I could not stand it anymore and had to stay alone. If something good I can tell you it is that in these two months, and thanks to my memories, I have not been tempted and I have not drunk a single drop of alcohol. And when you are awake and lucid even pain is good. At least in my no man’s land I was sober, and with your memory with me, anyhow I lived, Luke. In summer you seven were for me the image of a timeless picture and its vivid oil paintings were still spilling in my memory. And I've already learned that this picture will never be deleted. But I can lose the grip. What I needed was to be sure that this landscape was not going to fall. I needed nails, the nails to attach it. That is what my heart was telling me. If I have walls, they will need to stay solid and never drop the best images, which one day I brought from your outskirt. I don't know whethethe love I feel for you can be enough to secure them definitely. However, Anne-Marie recommended me to try to forget. It was impossible, because I neither could nor wanted to forget. And that's basically all, Luke. I do not think I have anything else to tell."

− "If you allow me again, I would have something more to say about you, what happened this morning. It is that I don't know if you are aware that I've heard the words that Mr. Weissmann has addressed you when you got out of The Golden Eagle. They were an invitation for you to preside over the company, isn't it?"

− "It is, Luke. It was that."

− "Then, if you allow me to ask you: what did you answer?"

− "I have not been able to give him an answer. It is difficult to explain, but I would tell you that what happens to me now is that I don't know who I am. I should have immediately answered that I accept, but something was preventing me. I could still do it, I'm still in time, but I do not see... I can’t see that presiding over the Thuban Star is what I want for my future. It is not easy to make me understand."

− "I understand you, my beggar."

− "What for would I like to be on a throne, away from those I love and..." –and suddenly I interrupted the sentence. I had nearly overlooked the vocative he had just used.

− "Luke −I said shedding real tears−, you've called me beggar. Thank you."

− "It has been Urgency. When I really understood that you needed it. And if you look closely, all this time you have lived as a beggar, with the few things that really matter: the beauty of memories, of friendship, even evoking scarcity must have provided you some light. Inside your sheets you've gone cold; and remembering our hunger, you felt hungry. You've gone through the early stages of the journey of initiation to be happy in life: setting aside everything that does not make you happy and stay with what truly does. You've survived thanks to your memories; we remembering you, because you have not been one more, you'll never be just one more. You moved us all: me especially, because you are really dressed in commotion. And you said many sentences which are gold for me. But I am especially remembering one that you said on your first bonfire with us, nearly healthy again: "If forgetfulness is a demon, get thee behind me." And you've really exorcised oblivion. With a man like my friend Nike we will always live in your memories and we will be, if you wish, your anchor for every time you have a bad time. And in that case, you already know where we are."

− "if I'm going to see you."

− "You will come and see us, Nike. The inner battle is over. You know the outcome noe. Trust in yourself. And if I may return to what happened this morning, Nike, suddenly there appears a dirty beggar on the corner opposite and you embrace him with real affection. I'll never forget that image of you with open arms. I do already have the nails so that the landscape of friendship that I had of you in summer does not fall."

− "These past two months I was sometimes haunted by a few words from your wife that you may remember. You were at her side. She told me this: "When thou seest us, thou shalt know us."

− "Yes, I remember them"

− "Every day I remembered this challenge, saying to myself: "not for not going to see them, you are going to avoid bumping into any of them at any time. And what will you do then?"

− "You would do exactly as you did. Those words were not a challenge..." - I interrupted

− "They were a constant challenge to Nicholas Siddeley's sobriety, who would need to prove to himself if once he arrived at the moment of truth, he would know how to behave like a real man should."

− "I don't like to see you hurting yourself with the knife of reproaches. But that way, I'm feeling once again the best of your blood. We are like brothers. I saw myself clean in Lucy’s eyes one day and a good summer day, clean in yours. Let me try to take away that dirt off my brother Nike’s eyes. My friend, do you really think that when you finally saw us you could have acted differently? Look inside yourself and think of us one by one. Evoke the other six images, and tell me the truth: is it not true that to each and every one you would have given the same hug you have given to me?"

   And then I did what he asked. I imagined the other six one by one and then I really thought that I would have really responded the same way. I calmed down in a sense until he continued talking.

− "Nike, the contest you had on recognition was really more difficult with me –there I was really frightened.  But in every conversation with Luke we went from a shaken sea to an ocean of calm−. Do not get nervous. It was more difficult because you and I talked about friendship. In fact, if you remember, it was you who first named the sacred word. And I could see, really moved, that a man until then unknown would have no problems in wanting to be the friend of a beggar. And friends we are now. And we will always be. Life, a harlot on many occasions, often makes you be separated by time or distance from your best friends. But after all one can recognize, near or far, his best friends. And perhaps with the other six, I don't know really, you didn’t talk clearly about friendship. So it was more difficult with me. And don't fret over the future. Or do you still have any doubt that when you see me again, me or any of the other six, you would do exactly the same thing?"