CHAPTER XLV: TEMPTATION

   My first winter in the street wanted to be noticed in the trees, naked and emaciated, which were spectral and ghostly, the wind a whip in the hands of a sadist who flogged them and opened their flesh. The sacred trees had necessarily to die to resurrect, not on the third day, but in the spring. It wanted to be noticed in the sun, crestfallen and faded, knowing that it was losing its usual battle with the clouds, which discharged their tears in a too melodic and rhythmic frequency and made us open our umbrellas every day and it was difficult to dry our soaked clothes. Days of January and February in which the couple who slept alone in our outskirt had to run to take refuge in "the house." But the winter was also noticeable in the stars, arrows of heat in Taurus and Gemini, in the undetectable Cancer, and glorious Leo, already visible at the time of the bonfires.

   Bruce had been a good patient, but now it was not easy to convince him to remain quietly at home. He argued that walking was very healthy and that he would only venture to go to the Village, to one-storey houses and sometimes he would rest in a square. Now the others fought to feed our beloved "rich beggar", but even in those days he surprised us frequently with food or money with which to invite us to a drink.

   Luke and I spent every day in solicitous concern about our wife. In general she was still strong and told us she was ok and said that anyway she found herself strong enough to work. Amanda Cohen knew of her pregnancy and agreed with Lucy that she would work until May 31. Then she would rest, not getting any money until birth, which we thought it would also be in August, and after two or three months of rest if she found herself healthy, she would be back at work on October 1 or November 1. In those months only Luke and I would work. My mate was highly appreciated at work and Richard and Samuel liked him much. And even my dear Anne-Marie spoke with him as though she had always appreciated him.

   Little to tell you about that January of knives and ice. One of the few nights we did not sleep in "the house", we had an unexpected visitor. It was, for the first time Samuel Weissmann. He greeted everyone, saying.

− "It was hard for me to find the Outskirt of the Torn Hand. I was walking near Mill Bridge, where a beggar was taking pictures, but without a camera – we all knew who he was - and told me to continue south as if I were going to the graveyard. But I told him that I have never been inside it and he showed me Millers' Lane, I should go along that street and I could find you. Anyway, greetings to all. Hi, Nike."

− "Hi, Sam. It seems to me that you need to know our wife. Come here, my heart. This is Samuel Weissmann, our boss."

− "Nice to meet you finally, Mrs. Prancitt."

− "Rivers. Lucy Rivers. My two husbands agree that I should always have my surname."

− "Well then call me only Samuel, please. And Nike, being here – he reproached me− do not speak of me as your boss but your friend Samuel or Sam."

   I showed him what we called the 'camp' and even my old tent that was not used now. We walked to Menhir Bridge because I noticed that Samuel wanted to talk to me.

− "Nike, how do you organize your Three? But answer only if you want."

− "Of course I would, Samuel, and you can ask me any questions. Did you mean the days?"

− "Yes."

− "Look, I have convinced them so every month we know by the number of the day who must sleep with whom. For example, I sleep with Lucy days multiples of three, with him the day before, Lucy and Luke the next day. For example, if it is 22, they sleep together; on 23, Luke and I; on 24, I sleep with Lucy..."

− "But, what if the month has 31 days or February?"

− "If they are 31 days they sleep two consecutive days, 31st of a month and 1st of the following month. The same in February. On day 28 and March 1 they sleep together. And if, like this year, it is a leap year, Olivia will take care of Paul in James’ house on day 29 and we will sleep the three of us together."

   We went back and Samuel talked with everyone a little. He went and came several times. He wanted to talk in private with John, and they walked a while down the middle finger and they went to Meander Bridge. He wanted to learn more about Harold Blessing’s nephew and apparently since that day he had more interest in him than in his uncle. They returned laughing and as good friends. His second tour was with Bruce, whom he already knew. Samuel and he conversed now as if they had always known each other. He was a more affectionate man than you could have thought. Then he paid his respects to Mistress Oakes, whom he had met in Bruce’s room in hospital and he was a long while talking to Olivia and discovering some of her story. And finally he sat down with us three at the bonfire now burning. As Richard did before, he declined to accept what we offered him to eat. The others left us alone with him.

− "It is indeed a pleasure to meet you, Lucy – she had told him to call her by her name - and to know your abode."

  It was obvious he did not know what to talk about and he talked of business, but I was surprised.

− "This year I retire. But you will continue in good hands. I have decided to hand over the baton to Anne-Marie. I know she loves you. She doesn't know it yet, but I will tell her tomorrow. And I now have too much free time. I hope I visit you many times now."

   He was still with us one more hour and I brought him with me to see the surrounding area. A slow walk on the alder grove, he stopped and said:

− "Your wife is very pretty. But I don't want to make you jealous, Nike. It will be a question of age, but my attention focuses more on Olivia. Her beauty is extraordinary and you can see that Lucy has inherited her features and some of her body. But I’d better shut up now, or else you will bite me."

− "Samuel... Yes, why can I not tell you this? You know that we have laws not everybody can understand. In addition to being a Three, none of us are jealous, and we do not believe in fidelity or imagine what hell we might live. Both Luke and I like both women and men. But this useless sorceress is not going to seduce us. And we will not be deprived of our senses with her spell. We do not believe that fidelity is necessary, but a social standard."

− "I was going to say something similar to how dare you raise doubts about something unquestionable? But I had to stop and reflect. Perhaps what is sacred for some people is only a fantasy for others, and now I must think about it. But I will not reproach you, because they are your laws and I will respect them."

   It was a couple of days later, starting February, when Anne-Marie came to my office. She was blushing and nervous, but her eyes were a constellation that liquefied, burning first and getting wet later.

− "Nike – she started-, you knew it, doesn't it?"

− "I can know something, but what are we talking about?"

− "Mr. Weissmann has just offered me the Presidency. And, among other things, he told me that you had suggested my name. You had told me nothing."- She reproached me.

− "I had told you nothing because Samuel could one day repent. And it is true that I suggested your name, but on October 4, when he offered me and I did not accept it. I saw you then, and I still see you, good enough for the job."

− "He had recommended me to speak to you about what I still have to learn. I can go more often now to your outskirt or ask you here in your office, or at the bar, if you still want to become a waiter in July."

− "With you I know that if I ever repent, I may return upstairs one day.  Of the bar I am worried of just one thing now, and that is to know if you will keep Richard and Luke."

− "I will keep them. You can be whatever you like, and even John could return."

− "Good, but -I said with some sarcasm – do not tell Miguel when he returns."

   Her visits to my office and the outskirt were then constant and I instructed her in learning what was going to be hers and would no longer be mine. I knew that she had spoken, if not quite respected, to Miguel for John and now because of me she warmly talked to me about Lucy and Luke, although her favorite one was still Olivia, but at least she was from my family.

  But talking about my family, I have to tell you also that a Saturday in late February. I was going to go to the street with Lucy, but my wife suddenly came to talk to me.

− "Listen to me, my heart. I know that you were in the northern cemetery to pray for my grandparents and my aunt Kirsten. But in addition to my mother, I still have a relative alive from the Rivers. It is not fair that you don't know him yet. Luke and I were only waiting for our Three to settle and finally there came a sunny weekend and we aren't short on food. So what we got yesterday is enough for tonight. I want you to know my uncle Gerald. He knows that you exist, he has known Luke for more than one year, and he also knows Paul and knows I will have a child with you."

  I had my doubts then what would Gerald Rivers know about me and how we would get along. But about 5 o'clock we went to his home. Olivia’s brother lives in Chamberlain Street, almost on top of The Shining Bread of Dawn, in the most central area of the city, but in a modest home where you can see a sudden change of fortune between Hunter’s Arrows and his current abode. It caught my attention the lack of pictures, which had been replaced by a collection of medieval swords that filled the walls, Norman swords which derived from ancient Viking swords, double-edged, with a flattened lenticular profile and other explanations which I don’t remember now. But I also saw a photograph on a beautiful walnut sideboard: two women and a man next to a stained glass window where you could see three swans. I recognized Gerald and Olivia, and there was another woman, blonde and quite beautiful, who I assumed would be Kirsten Rivers. Gerald was an almost exact copy of Olivia as a male and some years older. He had brown hair, now almost white, somewhat higher than his sister, but little more. He had no neck and walked somewhat bowed. Perhaps it was the hands of time, perhaps the weight of regrets. I was surprised by his first words.

− "So you are Nike. My niece and Luke have spoken much and well of you and I was eager to meet you. Sit comfortably. I can make you a coffee or prepare a drink, as you wish."

   I opted for a soft drink. I didn't want to bother him. It was obvious that Lucy and Luke had told him the basic facts about me: how I had met them, the rejection of alcohol, how I found myself on the street and how our Three had started. And they had also told him that we would soon become five.

   Gerald Rivers had not married. He had two or three loves, but I understood that many women had disappointed him.

− "And I would have disappointed them, because they must have already told you that I have spent years in prison. Look, I will tell you or you're going to know now. I want to get along well with you and do not want any secrets. They have told me that you are a friend of Richard Protch’s. He was my secretary. I was ambitious and maybe he was at that time also. He dealt basically with inheritances. It was in an evil hour that I convinced him we could have the money of two of them which the heirs knew nothing about. In capital letters you can read: swindle. We were obviously caught and we've paid it. At the end the temptation to have some money which was not ours was not good at all. I am really sorry about him. You can see that I have gone through life harming people. You’d better not tell him that you've known me."

   I could not hide that information from Richard. First I disliked Gerald Rivers, but soon I started to think that he was giving vent to many things in his life, just as Luke had done with me earlier telling me his story. Years had softened him and he became a simple man and he could, because of Lucy, respect our three, regretful of not having understood her sister’s life.


 

   Years later, as his friendship with him progressed; Nike would give him the star Mira, in the constellation of Cetus, a star like him, singular, of variable shine, whose name therefore means "amazing" or "wonderful". And thus Gerald Rivers was, a contradictory man of changing light, barely visible on the horizon in the northern hemisphere, imperceptible in the sky map of his sister.


 

− "But the worst part of my life has not been jail. I know you love her and I don't know what you will think of me. The year that your wife was born I lost my two sisters. For me it was also an unexpected ordeal Kirsten’s death. I'm still crying over it. I know, like Olivia, thanks to you she could return, but if it is Bruce who comes I will also love him, just as I love your son Paul. Lucy, Luke and he were here one of the last nights before getting married and since then I have the fortune of loving him, and you can see your little king loves his uncle too. I met Luke a year ago, in January, but to this house have also come Bruce, Miguel and John and these months Lucy has informed me about Bruce’s health. And now you, but I guess you don't love me much."

− "Do not be afraid of Nike, uncle – Lucy suddenly said-. When you know him well, you realize that he floods you with his comprehension."

− "Gerald – I was moved by the words of my wife, who already knew what answer I would give him -. I hardly know you. But you're being honest. We all have things we regret, acts or deeds of which we are ashamed. But Luke and I have been fortunate to reconcile with those who we offended, and you have not had the same fortune. And I can tell you that you've earned Lucy’s affection and she doesn't easily love anyone. I, therefore, won't judge you. You are my relative, and far from being bothered, you seem to have understood and respected our family. I hope I can know you better and love you."

− "Thanks, Nike. I begin to understand what my niece has seen in you. And I'll not make the same mistakes that I made with my sister. They were past and different times but that does not excuse me. I know that I was wrong and that Olivia was right. Seeing Lucy, I know that she has been happier than she could ever have been with his father."

   At that time, Lucy interrupted him.

− "Uncle... I know that many times I did not want to know, but I feel a strange feeling that Luke and Nike should know also. So now I'll beg you to finally tell me who my father is."

− "Okay, honey. It is time that you know it. Your father is..." - and he mentioned a name. Luke and I were glad now that our wife had never known him. We were all three in silence, trying to assimilate the news.

− "A "wolf" for Olivia. I don't remember now exactly what I said to my sister, but they were times of machismo in which a woman was born to marry and take care of her husband. Well, time has passed and Olivia has shown me that she could be, and has been, a free woman, and I am glad of how happy she is with all of you. Since then I have spent my life trying to recover her, because I love her, and be reconciled with her. But she does not speak to me. I understand that I remind her of a part of her life that she wants to forget. When I see her on the streets I talk to her, but I do not get an answer. Mistress Oakes is with her, and looks at me understanding my feelings but she does not say anything. Yes, I know her too, although I know that she can do nothing for me. I speak with Olivia, tell her things and I spend my life asking for forgiveness. She is unresponsive. She does not feel for me real hatred. I simply seem to be indifferent to her. Sometimes she ends up telling me "Please, Mr. Rivers, leave now". A few days ago I saw them in the Basilica, and I almost implored her on my knees. Too visible, I thought, and I didn't do it, but now I regret not having done. Well, it is "dura lex, [1] [3] sed lex".

− "I know what it means, because my father used to tell me something, paraphrasing it - said Luke-: dura vita, sed vita." 

− "Dura vita, dura lex, yes. Out of jail - he concluded-, it was not difficult for me, nevertheless, to recover my legal profession. My friend and partner Alfred Donovan let me back at Donovan, Rivers & Calhoum. And here I am. Too late, but now I behave with honesty and we prosper."

   The afternoon continued and we spent it evoking memories of Gerald Rivers, mostly old photos of Olivia and Kirsten, and talking about his collection of swords and the reason for that hobby. It seems that a friend from University had introduced him in the taste for ancient weapons.

    When on Monday I went back to work, I went early to the bar to talk to Richard.

− "It does not seem correct, at this point, to hide something from my friend Richard - I started remorseful - and I have to confess a sin."

− "The good or bad part you have, Nike, is that your face says it all and it has a name written. It is Gerald Rivers, isn’t it?"

-"I met him on Saturday."

− "When you told me you were in love with Lucy Rivers, I figured that you would meet him. I told you nothing then and I'm going to say nothing now. My friends have the right to be friends of my enemies. You may appreciate him, Nike. You are his relative now. As for me, well, we have crossed many times. We do not say hello to each other and hardly do we look at each other. I don't want to talk to him again. But of course, you can and you must: he is your wife's uncle. And you can even tell me about him. Now, in addition, you already know everything: inheritance, fast money, a past that I want to forget and I know that my friend Nike will help me to do this and will respect the man who I am now."

− "Take it for granted, Richard, and let’s shake hands" - and so we did.

   It was not so easy with Olivia. My eyes met hers and I was unable to conceal anything from her as usual. But it was her who approached me and told me:

− "Nike, I am going to the Meander – the Mill, the Menhir and the Meander. Many times we speak of them thus, but we are talking about the bridges - for a walk. Why don't you come with me?"

   I followed her, but I could hardly speak. It was she who spoke.

− "You should not fear me, because I know it. My daughter has told me. I am not opposed to the fact that you have met my brother and since I had a conversation with Lucy in October, I know that Gerald has been years taking care of her. This walk is so you can understand me."

− "It's your life, Olivia, and I will respect whatever you tell me."

− "Thanks, Nike. Well, I don’t remember now the exact words; I only know that I felt shattered at the reaction of my family. They were different times, but that does not excuse him entirely to choose the side of my husband. I know that he no longer thinks so, and that we could reconcile. I don't hate him now. I just try to forget that part of my life. I could be a happy woman. When you told me Luke’s tale at James’s these words caught my attention: one sees himself in front of misery, watching tiredness and hunger as horizons and disoriented, looks around and it is then when the lights of the nearby homes hurt your eyes and you do not want to look at them because loneliness and cold spit in your face and Exclusion comes as a blow against a wall of concrete, a blow whose burn marks you forever and that’s what happens to me. My life is forever my daughter, my grandson and she or he to come, my sons-in-law, my mistress and my fellow mates. I know it is hard for Gerald, but I don't want him to remind me the life I used to have and now I have no more, especially my sister. He resembles Kirsten more than me. I don't want to hurt him, but could we not forget and each of us can live their own life? But you will not understand me."

− "I do, Olivia, and I thank you let me see your feelings."

− “He does not have me. But at least he has Lucy, Luke and you. And I also know that he knows Paul. He has the right to know his nephew and Kirsten or Bruce when they come."

   That’s my dear Olivia. It is impossible to have with her secrets or disputes and it shakes me to always notice how she considers me truly a part of her family.

    The spring equinox had arrived promptly, but winter did not want to die and spring came in July. That year we had no summer.

   One day in late March, multiple of three, because I remember it was my turn to sleep with Lucy, was an even day and I continued to go to the street with John. We were sufficiently stocked, but I wanted to go on because of my fellow mates, when John suddenly spoke to me.

− "Nike, let's go now - and I guess I looked at him inquisitively-. I have the strange feeling that we must be at home. It is a strange omen. But it is a nice omen. I can feel Miguel in the air. He would be jealous if he sees me with you."

   I told him nothing for I supposed he was right. And in a short time we were sitting in our bonfire, all of us but Lucy, who was still working. It was one week with twilights of flame, icy but no fog or rain. Regulus had just arisen when we saw John stand up at the same time we could hear some steps climbing the hill. It was Miguel.

   He came looking at the constellation of Gemini, nearly finished its course, along Riverside Avenue.

− "Castor and Pollux, John. Together forever. I love you. Time does not pass with you."

− "Miguel" - he almost screamed, crying.

   They were passionately hugging and kissing for more than five minutes, while the other six beheld them happy and without haste and left them alone, in the commotion of the reunion. Before arriving at the fire, he saw me and greeted me with deep affection.

− "It is always a pleasure to see you, Nike." - He spoke with real friendliness, surprised to find me still there.

− "I promised that you would find me here upon your return, Miguel. It has not been easy, but I'm still here."

   He greeted everyone with real emotion and he especially talked to Bruce.

− "John has told me in his letters. How glad I am to see you well, my mate."

− "We are eight again, Miguel. Nike has never left, you have just come back and it seems that in my case fate has rectified."

− "Lucy has not returned yet?" - He asked, supposing she was still in the street.

− "Lucy and Luke now work –John said-, I will tell you the news, but you speak first, please."

− "It took me a long time to come back because I wanted to be with my mother in her last hours - he said crying-. Yes, she died a week ago. -John hugged him especially then-. She was now too weak. I would say she died because she was old, but I guess no one dies because of that. Finally it was a failure of the brain. When Brenda consoled me because I had no longer a family, I realized that it was time to return: my family is here, John and all of you."

− "How is Brenda Dolores?" - asked John, with obvious signs of jealousy.

− "John, she is my cousin, for God’s sake. Knowing you well, do you think that I would talk to you so much about her if I had fallen in love with her? You'll see – he went on, seeing him much calmer –, she is three years younger than me; she is your age and Gemini, like us. She works in an art school, teaching sculpture. Of a similar size to me, dark-haired and beautiful brown eyes. She is rebel and in the years of the dictatorship period she was three months in jail, the last time more than one month, always revolutionary and always showing solidarity with the desire for freedom of her students. I would like you to meet her and we saw Cadiz together. She can invite us for a month, and pay us the flights."

− "Miguel – he faltered-, it will not be necessary. There is something that I've never told you. I still have my money." - He finished with a thin voice, but he was being brave.

− "John – he looked at him smiling-, months ago we would have fought, because of Brenda Dolores or your money. But I see you again and I only want to love you. But I have to tell you - he looked at me as if he wanted to tell me "me who has reproached you so many things"-, because I must tell you, that these months I have suffered a strong temptation, the temptation of staying for the rest of my life in my country. But no, John – he looked at him -, not without you. I will never live without you. I actually imagined myself coming back to Hazington for you and stay forever together in Cádiz. Forgive me if I have imagined myself without the rest of you - he told everyone-. But when you wrote about Bruce, I changed my way of thinking: all my life I will belong here."

   The darkness was covering us already turning from purple into black when he started to tell us about his homeland.

− “In my country it is spring again after a long winter of forty years. Freedom can be breathed in the streets and everyone wants to live it. Youth seems to have dressed anew, and the two sides appear to have buried the hatchet, if not completely reconciled, at least with respect. Little more than one year ago was proclaimed a Constitution and old enemies, like my father and my uncle, embrace now. Winds of harmony are blowing and young and old people drink from the same sources, those of peace, work in common to reconstruct a home collapsed in the sterile ground of post-war. Actually you couldn’t recognize my country. And it seems to have sprouted enough raw materials to be one day a light for other lands in darkness. I would like, John, you knew Cádiz with me, perhaps a month, and then return with our fellow mates. The same sea is bathing us. You will not know your in-laws now, but I'd like you to see the city where I was born."

− "I want to go with you, Miguel. Later we can talk about it."

   But our fellow mate had something more to tell.

− "Guess – he asked unexpectedly – who I have suddenly met? Someone of whom I have already spoken to you."

   But none was able to find out.

− "A month ago I entered a bar one day and I met Jacques Verôme. He does not live in destitution, but he is quite impoverished. He has a relative in Cádiz this globe-trotter, and that surprised me. He spent two years living as a couple with Sylvie Laplane and then he came to the Way of St James -I then remembered Aurélien Protch, who had also walked it. He wanted to know Verosma and he branched off upon arrival in Santiago. At the end, he decided to rest in Cádiz and from time to time he gives a concert. But not many people attend. That day we spoke again of the death of Angelique, his wife. It seems that his love affair with Sylvie was short-lived because he was suspicious of her. His wife was frequently absent, and both of them saw each other often in Jacques’ flat. He even told me that she had a key of the service lift. Love became mistrust because both suspected each other. He said little more, except swearing once and again that he was innocent. In the end, I will never know who killed Angelique Verôme and if Jacques is innocent or not. Our motifs by Verôme may have their origin in a murderer."

− "So be it - answered Mistress Oakes-. Sublime things may have their origin in something grotesque. Anyway, he may be innocent. It is evident that it was a murder, but it might have been Sylvie."

   But the conversation was suddenly interrupted. The lake of the night already had black shores. A woman was climbing the hill. Luke and I recognized the steps of our wife. We looked at one another with some fear. Miguel had also recognized her and he stood up to greet her. But it is clear that he noticed her pregnancy. He looked at Luke with despondency and protest. Both of us were wondering what his next words would be. Now he would see that Luke would leave with Paul to his brother's house. It would not be easy to make him understand certain facts. A storm was forecast. 

---

[1] Dura lex, sed lex: Law is hard, but it is the law; Dura vita, sed vita: life is hard, but it is life.